Friday, January 6, 2012

Must Love Jesus

I rarely buy into these "articles" attacking why our generation is still single.  I did at first, but the older I have gotten, I have found that although some points are good, they generalize, attack, and make it sound like "silly kids, if you got your act together and fixed all these flaws, you'd be married. It is your fault."  Sometimes people fit into the theories these articles portray, sometimes they don't.

All that introduction to say, take these articles with a grain of salt....I think its a problem of lot of singles face, I think its a problem many marrieds have too -- expecting marriage and a spouse to fit a list of criteria that shouldn't have been placed.  However, I know many men and women probably don't fall into this category. I, just happen to be a girl that sometimes does.

My unwritten list is certainly a lot shorter than when I was in college, but the truth is, maybe it should ONLY say: 1. Must Love Jesus

Also, its good to realize that we may not marry the "right" person.

I have had friends emailing this article to me today, I have seen people talking about this subject on facebook and blogs, It seems to be the HOT topic......All this hype is over Keller's new book on marriage (written with his wife).  My friend Nikki talks about it on her blog, and mentions another article on the book.

I don't read a lot of stuff on marriage other than the occasional article or chapter in a book. I know some people take the approach of reading about marriage or parenting or career (or whatever their next step might be) way ahead of time. That's honorable and I fully support it! But, I take the approach that I want to spend a whole lot more time reading about ways to live my life to God's glory the occasional marriage book is fine, but my focus is usually on how can I glorify God now, at 27, single, living in the city (I use that term loosely), working as a lawyer?? Marriage books usually don't spend a lot of time telling me how to be a godly woman now.

 However, I plan on reading this book...why? Why this one and not the others? (1) because its by Tim Keller who I generally really agree with what he has to say because its biblical but practical.  He doesn't approach the world with Christian Blinders on, so I doubt he approaches marriage in any different way and (2) because I think some of the things he emphasizes about our generation(s) - married and single-- is true and can affect you whether already married or dating...

If I can strive to treat men less like a checklist and more as someone I am getting to know who also loves Jesus, then dating can be done in a more Christlike fashion, even if we don't end up together.  I hear that crazy talk all the time -- even from Christians, especially from Christians -- about someone who will fulfill you, will be so compatible, that God made just for you (as if God is making someone to bring me glory and satisfaction, its more like He is blessing me with someone though I don't deserve it) and I don't buy it....I think that there will be some basic attraction and similarities that may draw you to one Jesus-loving male over another Jesus-loving male, but truth is, the basis for marriage is a common faith in the same many different men could be "right"

Also, friends who are getting married in the next year or so, if I like this book, you may receive it as a wedding gift. Fair Warning.


  1. You should definitely read it! He says in the book that his congregation at Redeemer was something like 80% single adults, and this book was written based on the material he taught them. I've never read a marriage book that is written just as much to singles as to marrieds. So good, and I'm glad you're reading it!! Lets hang out one night soon (:

  2. LOVE this blog! And the part where you talk about trying to figure out how to glorify God when you are single, 27, living in a city, and working as lawyer could be me talking. (Except I'm 28!) We're destined to be blog friends! :)


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  4. I have actually started reading that book and am about half way through! Love it, recommend it, love Keller's writing and insight. It has opened my eyes to a lot and I wish this book had been around years ago when I could not see my hand in front of my face! Was actually really excited when I saw it since I've already read several of his books and was wanting a "trusted" opinion on marriage issues...I'll keep you posted on my thoughts friend:)

  5. well, ashley, now i cant give you that book for a wedding gift. boo. :)