Absence and Blessings

Does Absence make the heart grow fonder??

Absence from Dave
When it comes to love, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. It makes Dave and me grumpy! Being apart has made the last month of engagement probably the roughest because it put a lot of responsibilities on each of our shoulders -- to do things alone that should be done together. Picking out a place, final details on wedding, packing up, setting up shop in a new city, etc.  Add to that a lot of stress  and the fact that we are both sinners--- and you have a recipe for some grumpy conversations.

I have a newfound respect for military families.  Not only for being away for months at a time, but also for the fact that they have such patience and understanding about it.  I think you learn that even if you are irritated over something, you shouldn't waste what precious time you have to talk with fighting!! (I had a friend who was a military wife who would dress up for late night skype chats with her husband because she wanted to make them special!)

Even so, we both agree we can't wait to get married, even though our first few month of marriage are already filled with stress...moving our stuff up, finding a job, etc...I just prefer to live life's stressful moments with Dave :) So maybe, despite our grumpiness, I am growing fonder.  It's a blessing to know how much better my life is with Dave in it....I am sure I can take him for granted!

Absence from Friends and Family
The reality of leaving family and friends is hitting me.  Next Sunday, I have to decide whether or not to go to my home church or my church in Jackson because it will be my last sunday most likely!  At the wedding, I have to say goodbye to my baby sister until Christmas (maybe this fall, I hope!) (who am I kidding, I will probably swing by and hug her one last time as we leave town Saturday for honeymoon!!)  See Ansley leaves to work at a summer camp the week after my wedding.  When I get back, she will be gone.  When I fly home to move us to DC, she will still be gone.  She and I are very close so the thought of saying goodbye for possibly 6 months is so sad! I also will spend the week after our honeymoon saying final goodbye to friends.  Luckily my family lives in Jackson so when I come home for holidays, I will also see friends.  Even so, leaving the amazing group of friends of I have is hard.

The truth is, being away from those you love is hard :(  Which is probably why, despite my adventurous side, I could not manage to leave Jackson until Dave gave me reason to do so. So much good here!  The good news is that being away from Dave makes it a bit easier to do....because he is already in DC, I feel like I am going to someone I love instead of just leaving people I love. So his absence does have some good qualities, I guess :)

Also I am really glad that its sad to leave Jackson. I loved Auburn but was ready to leave---broken engagement, stuck in same town as EX, friends graduated...so after a few summer weeks spent finishing my thesis, I wanted out. I love Oxford, but I was ready to leave.  Very few GOOD friends and most of those had already left...It wasn't so sad to leave....but leaving Jackson is sad.  What a blessing!  How great to have a place I love so much that its actually difficult to leave.  How special to have godly fun encouraging friends that I hate to say goodbye to!

...and, as I said above, I am leaving to go be with someone, so what a blessing to have a happy reason to leave Jackson!

Our first "HOME SWEET HOME"

Praise the Lord, we have a home!! Despite the stress of finding one, we really are lucky we found one in 3 weeks!  Due to how hard it had been, we were quite worried that come July, we would still be looking.

We wanted a 1br and we wanted to eventually live in the Courthouse/Rosslyn area of Arlington...and that's exactly what we got...although we weren't looking there yet for fear we could not afford it.

However, we are signing on a lease Saturday that is the opposite of what we wanted immediately.  We thought we would sublet or at most, sign a 6 month lease --for a tiny studio.  This way we could figure out exactly what we could afford (on two salaries) and where we wanted to live. NOT to mention, we could save a but each month in rent.

But, sublets for studio/1br apartments proved hard to come by.  And 6 month leases often added cost to each month's rent due to the short term nature of the lease -- so you don't save very much.  And, as I've shared before, studios weren't an option at many Virginia apartments.

So when Dave's friend gave us this lady's number and it was a 1br in the area we liked for 100-150 more than our originial short term budget, we decided to jump in to a 12 month lease.  I didn't want to get stuck somewhere I didn't like for my than 6 months, but this is where we want to be and we are likely not going to find a good deal like this again for awhile.  It was more than we budgeted for the first few months but less than we were planning to spend on our first 12 month lease, so it evened out!

I just think it's funny how apartment hunting changes you views of things.  I wanted a sublease to figure things out first and now I am so relieved to have a 12 month lease and know I won't be moving again for awhile!  We had ideas about what we thought was best, but God opened and closed the right doors at the right time.

A little about our place: its a 1br with a parking space in a small 3 story apartmemt building with maybe 12 units in it.  It lacks the amenities like a pool or garage but is clean, 2 blocks from the metro, in a safe residential area, has laundry on site, and has hardwood floors. 

The little street we will live on is great -- sidewalk for running, condos, homes and apartment complexes! BUT its a 2 block walk to the main street full of restaurants, bars, etc. There will soon be a new metro line (the silver line) -- coming late summer/spring that goes all the way out to Tyson's Corner/Mclean, just a few blocks from Dave's office, so soon he can avoid the traffic too and just hop on the metro. (SEE, from Courthouse all the way out to Tyson's Corner!)

So come see us everyone :) we would love visitors!!  BUT give us some time to get our furniture moved in (late July/early Aug) Just imagine it with my mid century pieces, a few handmedowns and LOTS of MS prints (with all my pics of oxford, auburn, jackson, cotton, etc, no one will doubt where my heart belongs!)
OH, and a little about our new 'HOOD: COURTHOUSE

A few days ago, when it seemed every place would fall through or not work out, I said to Dave: "I am ready for this move to be exciting again!" Moving far away from family and friends is still stressful, but as the details work out, it gets exciting again.  Sure, I don't have a job yet and money is tight, but the Lord has been so good to us and will continue to faithfully walk us through every life situation we face, including a move and marriage within a few weeks.  I can't wait to see the life we have ahead of us in Courthouse!

4 weeks

Sadly, Tonight is my last night with this cutie for 4 weeks :( He moves to DC this weekend. 



I sure will miss him for 4 weeks, but its exciting to know that when he comes back, it will be to get married, go to SF and NAPA and then move together to DC. Whats 4 weeks in the grand scheme of things right???

This has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life.  We had one week to finish up marriage details that we both had to handle-- wedding rings, 2 marriage counseling sessions, wedding portriats (yes, I know we are horrible for seeing eachother pre-wedding), license, etc  PLUS hours sitting in my office every night trying to find housing.  We think we found something and it will work out -- but we have thought that 3 times now and it fell through, so we shall see !!!On top of that, DC is expensive and moving to DC is expensive! AND we have to decide when we are moving our furniture up.  It can't be done after wedding or immediately after honeymoon..... OH and the job search hasn't even begun! So, its been a stressful week....and despite my Joy over DC and pride in Dave, it has seemed like this is the wrong decision numerous times because of the crazy amounts of stress and details to be worked out!

BUT I truly think that this move is stressful and will be stressful for a few months while thinks like housing and jobs are being worked out...BUT in the long run, I think this move will be great.  We LOVE DC...We LOVE the idea of starting our lives together somewhere new.  And soon enough, we will have permenant housing and 2 jobs and not be separated.

So, despite our stress, we are still really really excited - about marriage, moving, life.  Even today, the Lord has answered some of our Prayers and we know He will continue to provide and protect us.

And despite the stress, I still want to be marrying this man :) I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.  Thats a good sign, I suppose!


So it will be a stressful 4 weeks, BUT in 4 weeks I marry my sweet Dave. Totally worth all the stress!

We are moving to.......

..........WASHINGTON DC!!!!!

After lots of applying and about a dozen interviews in Mississippi, Alabama, DC and Florida, we finally know where we are moving!  America's capitol city!!  That's part of why I have not been posting - because I knew a job offer was in the works but didn't want to speak until it was in our hands. WE ARE SO THRILLED TO KNOW WHERE WE ARE GOING TO BE LIVING TOGETHER WHEN WE GET MARRIED!!!! (and how lucky for me that we are moving to what is literally my favorite city in America!)

And we are so grateful.  Sometimes what you want and what God wants is not identical and that's a tough pill to swallow. I've swallowed it many times :) But, this time it worked out the way we both wanted, even though we had no hope it would turn out this way. When we first started discussing a city we both would be interested in -- we disagreed on different cites (IE, I could not seem to sell Dave on Jackson!) but we were in agreement over DC. However, our assumption was that it would be impossible to get a job there, so with the exception of a couple applications, we focused on the southeast - and actually became quite content with the idea of living here.  I think everyone thought we would end up in Alabama somewhere, including us! (and I do think if we weren't taking this job, Alabama would still be a good option and Dave would receive some offers) 

But, in the last month, God literally opened doors for us to move to DC.  One of those random applications he sent turned into a job interview.  Dave decided he would apply to a few more on a whim to see if he could get maybe one more interview (it seemed silly to fly to DC for just one interview) -- and he got 3 more interviews.  So 4 interviews in 3 days in DC which happened quickly - and turned into an offer quickly - and now turned into a job quickly - to start quickly (next week!)

SO, as I said, we are THRILLED...and quite ANXIOUS as we scramble around to get details together.  Dave is literally moving to DC for 4 weeks, coming home for a wedding and honeymoon - and then going straight back! (I think I will come home, pack up and meet him in DC a few days later) We spent this weekend doing wedding/honeymoon stuff since we only had one week to finish marriage counseling, buy rings, etc.  We also had to finish making reservations for our honeymoon- tours, restaurants, etc. AND we needed to find Dave some temporary affordable housing for the 4 weeks he is there.

We are struggling to find housing for Dave and then for us -- sublet, short term lease, etc.  At very worst, Dave will book an extended stay hotel and look when he is up there.  We don't want to sign a 12 month lease until we know where I will be working....but if we have to, we have to. I also am about to start looking for a job. SO TONS OF DETAILS TO WORK OUT.

When I start to get stressed, I remind myself how excited we are -- and that when the details are worked out, we can relax and enjoy our new home! This is a blessing and an answered prayer -- and I wish Dave didn't have to start until after the wedding, but I am glad he gets to start working at all!  When God blesses, I can't complain that the details aren't the way I would have planned them.....and underneath all the stress, I am downright giddy to be moving to my favorite city with my favorite person.  20 year old Katy (who swore she would move to DC after her first summer in the city) would be so excited right now!

So, sadly, 4 weeks with Dave in DC and me in Mississippi (which I think he conveniently planned so he could avoid wedding stress !!!) --- but when he returns, it will be to marry me! SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO!

And, so much to pray for. We are praying for a good sublet for awhile as we figure things out (and preferably in a private apt, not subletting a room).  We are praying that I find a job soon after arriving there.  We are praying that we find a good permanent apartment to live in after the sublet! We are praying for good attitudes as we have both gotten discouraged a couple times so far with the stress of searching for rentals and jobs as well as packing up, moving and being away from each other.  We didn't anticipate our wedding and first married days involving living apart at all or living in a sublet, but the most important thing is that we will be married and starting our lives together.

OH AND IT MUST BE SAID, I am extremely proud of Dave. He is extremely talented. And while interviews in architecture are hard to come by, he has gotten a lot of attention.  I think his talent, his maturity and his work ethic make him marketable.  I am so excited for his new job and I am so excited for our life in DC!  Leaving Jackson is quite bittersweet for me - because I love my friends and family and life here, but I am grateful that we have a chance to make our life together somewhere all on our own.  Additionally, I always wanted to move back to DC and never would have done so, unless Dave pushed us to, so I am glad that he is challenging me to move out of my comfort zone.

So, it's going to be a BUSY month -- one month til we marry, a few days til Dave moves, my last 4 weeks of work, traveling to SF/NAPA, and a move to DC.  What a comfort to know our lives are in the hands of the Lord as we make these changes! And what a blessing to walk through these changes with my best friend!

Engagement Pictures!

Here are some of our engagement pics.  For the most part, we loved them! I love that they were taking in Dave's hometown! 

You can see them all on a little video here... just click on the Katy and Dave client Gallery.  This video will only be up for a month.

By the way, isn't my fiance just the cutest?? A lot of times we see eachother at night when hes in jeans and a t shirt and I've been at tennis or put sweatpants on....so it was to fun to see him dressed cute for pics.  I get to marry this man in 71 days!! :) But who's counting right??

CHURCH HILL AND SNEAK PEEK:ENGAGEMENT PIC

Tuesday, Dave and I took engagement pics in his hometown of Church Hill (or community, really, its not a town)  The weather was perfect-- it was raining the weekend before and it rained the day after, but it was warm and lovely for our pictures. We are having an urban wedding at a warehouse -- so most of our pics will be fairly urban and indoors, so I really wanted our engagement photos and bridal portriats/etc to be outside.

I don't think I have ever showed pics of Church Hill on my blog so I wanted to show yall this pretty place!  (I didn't take these, I pulled them offline, but you get the idea...)  It really is cute and old school and historic.  I love the church on the hill (Christ Church) from which the community gets its name.  Church Hill also has a few large old plantations/homes because it is 15 minutes from Natchez (former wealthiest city in the South and America and still full of southern charm and Antebellum houses)

Here is a sneak peek of our engagement pics. The photographer just took this one on instagram, so its not edited, etc, BUT you get the idea... beautiful scenery, perfect weather, cute boy. I can't wait to see the real pictures!

Easter Sunday

I suppose this can be a What We Wore: Easter Edition....although really its just an Easter post...which is good b/c I feel torn on WIW wednesdays because its a bit self focused (although I like knowing that I can come up with atleast one post each week even while I am so busy!)

I spent Easter in Church Hill.  At the time we made plans, my parents were moving into a new condo in Jackson and I didn't know if they would be at the Brookhaven house or Jackson condo for the holiday and no one else was coming in town (that I knew of) - plus there was a baby shower and wedding in Church Hill/Natchez that evening so we decided to spend the whole weekend with Dave's family.  Last minute, my grandparents and aunt and uncle came to town but I still stayed in Church Hill because that was our original plan. And although I missed my family, I am glad I did.  It was so much more restful.  I am grateful that our families live a little over an hour apart because we can and will continue to be able to see both families every holiday, but travelling between houses for holidays is exhausting so its nice when we can have an entire weekend in one place. I can definitely see the plus of just alternating some holidays....maybe Easter will be one of those!  I think that figuring out holidays will be one of the most difficult things for Dave and me-- such a blessing to both come from closeknit families, but it does create problems when planning things out!

I realized on Good Friday that I had been so busy with wedding planning, work, etc that I had failed to get an Easter dress-- showers, engagement party, rehearsal dresses? YES.  Easter - not so much. In Jackson, I would have just worn an older dress, BUT Church Hill is old school and Easter Sunday gets your Sunday Best which includes a new dress.... I didn't want to wear a dress I was saving for another event so I quickly ran to LOFT because they were having a 40 percent off sale.  They were sold out of my size but called the other LOFT in town so I ran over there to pick up my dress from hold.  All that to say, Good Friday shopping is as awful as day before Christmas shopping (although not as bad as day after Christmas)  The roads were packed, the stores crowded, stressful.  But success, I was able to find a dress and still get packed and to Church Hill literally 2 minutes before Good Friday Service!  LESSON LEARNED: Easter shop ahead of time!

It was a fun weekend -- seeing Dave's family, celebrating a sweet baby on the way and attending a wedding, relaxing, and of course, a good SOUTHERN EASTER DINNER.

We attended a wedding at Longwood Plantation Saturday.  It is an old southern mansion that was never finished (on the inside).  In the middle of building it, the Civil War broke out and afterwards, and afterwards, the house was never finished.  The first floor is decorated but the second floor is not -- all that exists is the bricks-- which actually makes it look really neat (different from every other southern plantation you can tour).  Also, its an octagonal house.  The food was on the bottom level and the band and dancing and drinks were on the second floor.

Dress: from a store on the Square in Oxford, MS a few years ago

Shoes: Red wedges from Judy's

Sweater: Gap

Earrings: Simple Joys

Here is my sweet guy and me Easter Sunday...

Dress: LOFT (SALE!!)

Necklace: Blue Door Boutique

Belt: Banana Republic

Shoes: Madden Girl (you can see them in the next picture)

DAVE:

Suit, Shirt, Tie: BELK (sale)

***This is his interview suit we bought a few weeks ago. Seriously, doesn't he look adorable?  Usually he is in student attire, so I love when he dresses up!***

With Dave's Family on Easter (minus his brother in law Conor who could not come due to work on Saturday) on Easter Sunday..... (Clearly I look more like his sisters than my own, ha - atleast in coloring and hair color) 

Possibly the BEST part of the Weekend was Sunday afternoon in Jackson.  We left after Easter lunch and got back around 3/3:30...  I packed a few boxes, did some laundry, made soup and sandwiches for dinner and we watched TV on a rainy lazy afternoon.  SO RARE and MUCH NEEDED!

I hope everyone else had a wonderful Easter weekend full of friends and family.  Certainly Easter can be celebrated alone --- the empty tomb is just as amazing, with or without others -- but it is good to rejoice with other believers and enjoy the blessing of eachother!

"Fried" (baked) Pickles

Dave loves Fried Pickes (me: not so much...) but lets face it, they aren't healthy for you.  I told him there were ways to bake friend pickles and he has been wanting to make some, so this weekend, I looked up this recipe for him and he went to town.... They turned out well (so he says) but we used thicker pickles so next time we plan on finding the thinly sliced ones.  This post is mainly for Marley who likes fried pickles too. For those of you who like pickles (gross, a horrible way to ruin a perfectly wonderful cucumber), I hope you enjoy this recipe as well!

"FRIED" PICKLES

Makes 6 servings.

Ingredients

• 1 jar pickle slices
• 2 eggs
• 1/3 cup flour
• 1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tsp hot sauce
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp Cajun seasoning
• 1 tsp pepper
• 1 1/2 cups panko bread crumbs

Directions

• Turn oven broiler on high.
• In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs and flour. Add Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, garlic powder, Cajun seasoning, and pepper. Mix well.
• Place panko bread crumbs in a shallow dish. Dunk each pickle slice into the egg mixture, than dredge it in the panko bread crumbs.
• Place coated pickles on a rack set above a baking sheet and sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Place pan in the middle rack of the oven. Broil for about 3 minutes on each side.

Mixing it Up!!

When I dip, you dip, we dip

YUMMY!

Soulmates? or Not?

I fully believe that there is No such thing as a Soulmate.

Believing in a soulmate sets you up for dissapointment.  You will be shocked if your boyfriend or spouse lets you down. You will be so confused if he hurts you.

Soulmates are impossible.  We are all sinners and sinners hurt eachother and fail and sometimes screw up.

Believing in a soulmate increases your chances of discontentment and possibly divorce. When someone doesn't please you enough anymore, it would be easy to assume that this is not your soulmate, that you made a mistake, that you need to end things and keep looking.  Likewise, if dating, a belief in a soulmate could keep you from ever settling down.

I'm marrying a great guy who loves Jesus and loves me well.  He is not my soulmate.  He can't complete me, nor can I complete him.  Sometimes he drives me crazy and goodness knows, I annoy him. We are opposites in many ways. (My roomate, her fiance and the two of us talked about that just last night -- how funny it is that both couples were opposites)  But you know what? Although we don't see eye to eye on everything and always complete eachothers sentences and walk on clouds and rainbows all day, our differences really challenge and improve eachother.

"The good news, however, is that in marriage God gives us someone far better than a soulmate. He gives us the person who is exactly right for us. He gives us the husband or wife who will help us become more like Jesus Christ. Sometimes that’s a painful process for both spouses. It doesn’t feel “soulmate-ish”....It’s hard and it requires work. But as we seek to serve each other, the end result is that we both love God more and we both love each other more."


Ouch. That doesn't sound fun, but it also sounds exactly like what I need.  At the same time, it sounds great....that someone will literally be used by God to help make me a better person, painful as that process may be.

For the record, I think God uses friends, roomates and family in this process too.  Being a tool in God's sanctification of another person is  not limited to marriage, but marriage (and possibly parents and children) are probably some of the most intimate ways this process works. 

And although I am very glad the man I ended up with was Dave, he is not my soulmate. So its good that we don't find soulmates, but instead are able to be with someone who is right for us, in both good and difficult ways.

Random updates

I recognize that I have not posted in forever... I will try to do better. I know update posts can be boring, but I decided to give you an update list before returning to "regularly scheduled programming" :)

(1) I was so stressed Friday night for tons of different reasons...and stress makes my rosecea worse and I was upset about that too which wasn't helping matters.  Dave kept craking annoying jokes and I was so annoyed...until I realized what he was doing -- trying to make me laugh and calm down. He wanted me to quit stressing out and was trying to help the only way he knew how to. I sure am crazy about him. What a good guy. 

(2) I really liked Safe Haven, surprisingly.  I wanted to see it but thought it would be one of those movies I wanted to see and then didn't like. I liked it.  Dave was a trooper and sat through it - and actually enjoyed it, I think. It kindof has a fun twist which makes it more entertaining.  Certainly not a top ten movie, but worth a cold rainy friday night for sure.

(3)Isn't it great how God sometimes knows exactly what you need? Dave and I were scheduled for a jam packed weekend - I worked all day Saturday, then we were going to the Charity Ball with my family and then spending the day in the country Sunday with his family.  Then we had car trouble and had to spend a few hours replacing a part (okay, I just held the flashlight) and missed the Ball and ended up staying in town all sunday....

........and it was glorious! literally, best weekend in awhile. We have been grumpy with eachother with the stress of his job hunt and the wedding and marriage and we both agreed that a day curled up watching tv and movie and doing laundry and grocery shopping and researching san fran and stopping by the bookstore and cooking ahead for the week was WONDERFUL.  A day not stressing was just what I needed and God reminded me how blessed I am to be marrying sweet Dave. He truly is my favorite person to do anything or nothing with....and it was nice to have a day just being us, not reading about marriage or planning a wedding or looking up jobs.

(4) Wedding planning can be stressful. I am about to the point where all the big decisions are made and I am going to hand the rest off to my wedding planner and say, have fun.  I know what I like and don't like, but as far as specifics, she can make it work right?? I don't want to stress out so much that I miss the fun times with family and friends. 

(5) ARGO- best picture. Totally agree. Daniel Day Lewis - best actor. 100 percent agree with that too.  Seriously, see argo if you haven't. LOVED it and I really liked Lincoln as well.

(6) I've been back on my diet (yuck) -- I took literally a week to ten days off with family and friends in town, Vday and Mardi Gras.  I like sticking to a routine though and planning our meals ahead (I say our meals because Dave comes over for dinner maybe 3 times a week  --- he says its to see me, but I know its for the free food :) haha)  This week's menu includes: low carb chicken tacos, spaghetti (I make mine with zuchinni instead of noodles), chicken and rice/cucumbers, breakfast for dinner with turkey sausage instead of real sausage, lowcarb pizza.

(7) Before going back on my diet, I made this recipe for Buffalo Chicken Casserole (Dave loves Buffalo Chicken so I thought it would be a good fit) I actually really liked it!

You need these ingrediants:

• 1 1/2 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch strips
• 1/3 c. hot sauce
• 5c. red potatoes, grated w/ box grater
• 1 c. light ranch dressing/ blue cheese
• 1/2 c. cheddar cheese, shredded
• 1 (10 oz) can condensed cream of chicken soup
• 1/2 c. panko

 Heat oven to 350°F. Spray 13x9-inch baking dish with cooking spray.

Grate potatoes and lay out and pat with a paper towel to try to get some of the moisture out.

In medium bowl, stir together chicken strips and buffalo sauce. Spoon into baking dish in a single layer.

In the same bowl, stir together potatoes, dressing, cheese and soup. Spread over chicken. Sprinkle panko evenly over the top.

Cover with foil. Bake 30 minutes; uncover and bake 20 to 25 minutes longer or until potatoes are tender and juice of chicken is no longer pink when centers of thickest pieces are cut.

(8) I also discovered another yummy low carb lunch a couple sundays ago.  Pizza quesadillas.  I used a lowcarb wheat tortilla (4 net carbs) and spread a little low fat butter spread on one side and filled it with turkey sausage, parmeson and mozzerella and tomato sauce. If you have any fresh vegguies or chicken, you can add those as well.  Fold over like you would a quesadilla and cook in the skillet.  So good.  Like a healthy calzone

(9) My showers/parties are starting in less than a month...and confession: I am super excited about new clothes for these parties.  I am almost more excited about a few new sundresses than I am about my wedding dress.  Lets be honest, I will wear a new Lilly dress far more often than my wedding dress. I fully recognize that money may be tight the first year of marriage if we move and I have to take another bar exam and find a job, so I am fully enjoying the fact that I get new dresses now !!!

(10) My pillows for my new bedroom came in this week. I am super excited. Here is what it looks like.  I still have a ton to do - I want a white desk ( I found one that is a knockoff of the west elm parson's desk) and I want to paint my dresser gray (when we move)  I also need to add some artwork and get a headboard and this rug I am ordering from urban outfitters today. BUT atleast we have a start. Maybe I can get the room decor 50 percent there before I get married and we can do the rest later!

Can you tell the male influence?? I would never have guessed I would have a deer pillow on my bed, but since it will be our bed, I wanted a Dave pillow. (I am also considering one of those white deer heads from urban or west elm)

Picture Post: Valentines

Yesterday I had a fro-yo lunch date with this hunk.....

and had beautiful flowers delivered to work...

and made a yummy cake...

and had dinner cooked by a sweet man...

and most importantly, spent the day with this cute man....

**Our Story** (and proposal!)

WARNING: LONG POST

I promised it awhile ago, didn't I? The engagement story! And life got hectic with work, Chris's death, Christmas, New Years, wedding planning, etc.  So hear you go....  A not so perfect love story. (but a perfectly wonderful love story)  Our story is greatly romantic and oh so ordinary, all at once.

Our First Date....

I met Dave late December/early January of last year-- our first date was January 11th at mugshots and was one of those first dates you don't want to end, although it was just dinner and burgers and great conversation.  Something you should know about me: I am not the type of girl who constantly thinks I met "the one".  My friend Alexandria calls me the best casual dater she knows.  I was always hoping to meet my husband but didn't quickly jump to the assumption that I had met him. When I was younger, a date was a chance at something  and I was always hopeful for more, but the older I got, a date was just a date which meant *hopefully* a good time and a free meal.  I didn't ever come home assuming that we would seriously date or get married.  And I didn't think Dave was "the one" on the fist date, although I spotted the potential that he was. (and he felt the same way)

 But, when my mom asked how the date went I said: "Good, we're going to end up in a relationship."  I later asked my mom if she believed me that night when I said that and she said that she did, that a comment like that was very unlike me. But I know that I wanted to see him again... and again ....and again.

And it wasn't long before we were official, although we jokingly say that we were official from date one.  I even broke my rule that you should not cancel dates with other guys until you are someone's girlfriend...but after meeting Dave, I didn't want to see anyone else.

Small side note: Dave was 30 minutes late for our first date. I am pretty sure everyone in that restaurant thought, "Oh sweetheart he's not coming" In fact, these college guys kept snickering at me in their booth because every time the door opened, I looked up thinking it was Dave! But, he did show up (we were coming from two different directions and he didn't exactly know how long it would take, obviously) and he charmed me, despite his tardiness!

When I knew I would marry him....

I can still pinpoint the moment that I knew I would marry him.  It was February and we were sitting in his truck at a gas station in meadeville, ms riding out a huge storm.  We met halfway between Brookhaven (where I work) and Church Hill (where he lived) in a town that literally had one restaurant and a gas station.  (after that, we realized it was best for one person to drive the full hour to the other ha!)  We had our first fight (over a subject we had bickered over a little bit a few days earlier) and he was being stubborn and we kind of dropped the subject.  Five minutes later, out of nowhere, he hugged me and said, "I'm sorry. I was wrong.  I am bad at saying I'm sorry, but I want to learn to be better at it for you."  At that moment, I realized that he was changing (hopefully for the better !!) for me and I knew I was changing for the better for him.  If we could bring out the good in eachother (most of the time) and if we helped each other improve our weaknesses, the we would be good together.  By the way, a week or two later, he brought up that he thought he would marry me, although he still can't pinpoint the moment he knew. And from then on, we went through our relationship with the end goal of marriage. 

Not so perfect...but perfect

I think that knowing you've met the right guy 7 weeks in is great....it certainly made our dating intentional.  But, it is hard when you can't get married for awhile.  At first we talked about marriage like it would be a lot sooner, but then some known hindrances came our way (school, jobs, etc) and some unknown hindrances (tough times for my family) and things slowed down.  I won't lie, waiting to be married when I already knew was hard, and even now, I often wish we could skip over the wedding and be married.  I think that the waiting was particularly hard for me because I am out of school so I had always figured when I finally met the right guy, I would know quickly (check) as would he (check) and we would be planning marriage early on (check) and end up married within a year (ummm.....) But the same timeline does not apply when you are in school like Dave is.  We started out approaching marriage like it was a lot quicker (but Dave was out of school working for the semester) However, as school got closer and closer, we realized it would be longer. 

As I said about our love story, it's far from "perfect"  We fell quickly but could not have a whirlwind romance.  We had plenty of struggles and hardships to work through, some of them involving our family, some involving school or work and some were just normal couple struggles.  I also see how God used the past year to teach us how to love eachother better, trust God in our circumstances and prepare for a lifetime together.   We both have been hurt and we both have fears and I am glad we used our time of dating/engagement to address these fears. 

our story isn't perfect (whose is?), but its good and happy.  I think what made me certain Dave was the guy I wanted to spend my life with was that although things weren't perfect, they still just worked.  We weren't trying to make it work.  We also weren't brushing over conflict.  Things weren't perfect, but as a whole, we just really clicked together

The proposal...

Was I surprised??? Um,yes but not really.  Dave told me in August or September that we would be engaged by 2013 and well, it was the last 2 weeks of 2012 so I was expecting it every single time we hung out....as evidenced by how stylish and put together I looked almost every evening for 3 weeks.  However, I really assumed it would be Christmas Eve with my family.  Dave tried to throw me off a bit by a couple fun evenings including a night where he texted me to cancel my plans, put a pretty dress on and be ready at 7.  He took me to the theater....but I did briefly think, maybe this is it!  However, the next week, he made plans to take me to Walker's, my favorite restaurant which he had never gone to before.  We were waiting to go until the holidays or a special occasion because its pricy.

I suspected, but then again I also really thought it would be over Christmas.  We had a lovely meal and looking back, I can see how nervous he seemed.  We talked a bit about marriage and the future and I gave him a gift (I was doing the 12 days of Christmas and it was day 7).  He didn't let me order dessert because he was "full" but really we were late to an "engagement party" with family and friends.  On the way back to the car (we parked way far away!), we stopped in front of Duling Hall where there are lights and he said "I have a christmas gift for you too" and got down on his knees and asked me to marry him.  I said yes and kissed his forehead then we put the ring on.  We didn't spend long hugging, kissing and celebrating before he rushed me along.  I said "wait I want to look at my ring!"He said "we will look in the car"  At that point, I realized that we were going somewhere else, most likely to see my family, because he was hurrying us along so much.  We drove around the corner and he said, "Let's get some holiday coffee" (really, we just got engaged, we haven't called our parents and you want holiday coffee??? suuurrree....) We walked into a local coffee/beer place with my friends and family in the back room ready to celebrate with drinks and petit fores.

We hurried because bless his heart, even with reservations, it took them a long time to seat us.  Our engagement party group had been waiting 30+ minutes.  Also some of my friends were cold in the bushes to take pics of the proposal but they didn't really turn out due to the lack of light.  Poor Sarah (who helped plan my engagement) had to go to the hospital for an asthma attack in memphis and couldn't make it last minute) As I said, life is rarely perfect, even when planned out!! But we had a wonderful time.  So many people have loved me for years, good and bad, and I am glad I got to see a lot of them afterwards.  I always wanted a private proposal with famiy celebration afterwards. And my sweet Dave gave me that.  He also gave me the loveliest ring.  Marley said it was adorable how he had researched and knew exactly what I wanted and what he should get.  One of my favorite qualities about Dave is that he listens.  He wanted me to have what I want.

When I saw my sisters and family, I teared up.  It was the first time in all the hurry that I had a chance to get emotional.  But mainly I was just estatic, so glad to announce to the world what I already knew: I had met the one for whom my soul loves! (song of sol. 3:4)

Dave and I then went home and contacted a few friends and family and my sweet roomie (who had to miss the party) had a bottle of champagne and we all drank some.  Then Dave and I had private time celebrating and talking about the future, probably my favorite time of the evening, because I finally had time to stop and realize my blessings!

My thoughts...

I know, I know, you're thinking, aren't the rest your thoughts too? Well yes, but hold on, you will be getting a lot of my thoughts on singleness/marriage/God's faithfulness these days. In fact I want to do a whole post on it.

Dave and I don't have the perfect love story in that whole "Christian fairytale" sense.  He wasn't my first love, my first kiss, etc.  Bless his heart, he isn't always the most romantic.  And bless his heart even more, I certainly am not always the sweetest girl who doesn't nag or bicker.  But he is good to me. So good to me.  And I have dated the boys who say the right things but then don't stand by you (and your family) through good and bad. And I would rather have the one who sticks by you.  Sure I wasn't his first love, sure he has a little baggage and goodness knows I do, but I am his last love and his favorite love and he is mine, and if my past heartaches made me the girl he loves then I am grateful for the pain.

Also, I am just in awe of God's faithfulness.  I see why the moms who struggled to get pregnant seem so much more enamored with motherhood.  All moms love their kids (well, most atleast) but these seem to have a true appreciation that only longing, prayer, tears and trusting in God's faithfulness can provide. I feel the same about Dave. I am seriously so stinking excited to be Dave's wife.  And as opposed to my previous engagement where I was in love and happy, I am now in love and happy and GRATEFUL.  Seriously, I don't think I have ever been so grateful in my life. I probably praise God every day for bringing me through hard times and providing far more than I deserve.  Pain does make Joy even more sweeter and makes you even more grateful because you realize what blessings you have. 

I wish I had gotten married younger. I wish I met Dave earlier.  But I do love approaching marriage from this viewpoint: God has been with me, good and bad. God will be with US in our MARRIAGE both good and bad.  Pain will come our way again, but I have seen God's faithfulness in sustaining and providing.  I will hopefully look back at my 20s and know that God is trustworthy and present. 

SaVe ThE dAtE

Save the date: JUNE 28, 2013!

I know, I still haven't actually blogged about the proposal.  I need to sit down one night and type it out.  But life has been crazy with Christmas, work, Chris's death, planning, etc.

So far we have managed to plan:

• ceremony and venue site
• caterer/florist (through the venue)
• photographer
• band
• dress
• bridesmaid dresses
• ceremony musicians (maybe)

As far as the look or feel of the wedding, I have no idea.  With a 6 month engagement and a June wedding, I have just been concerned about booking vendors.  The details can happen slowly. I wanted the stressful booking portion done with as soon as possible, so Dave and I can spend most of our engagement prepping for marriage since that is far more important....and having a little fun together too.

On that note, I have started looking at books on marriage. The only two I have at the moment are "The Meaning of Marriage" by Keller and "Things I wish We'd Known before We got Married" by Gary Chapman.

What marriage reading would y'all reccomend?

Going to the Chapel.....

.......and I'm gonna get married!!!

Last Night Dave proposed! We had a wonderful evening celebrating with family and friends and a few moments to celebrate alone too :) I will share all the details later, but wanted to do a small update sharing the news.  I am so so blessed and I can't wait to spend my life with this man!

ENGAGED.....

THE BLING.....

SWEET FRIENDS....

REJOICING WITH MY SWEET SISTERS....

(who by the way, helped pick out the ring!)

Ice Skating FUN

Last Night we went to a Hospital party at the Skate Park with my Dad, Ansley and Blaise.  It was a fun time, although 30 min max skating for me-- none of us were very good at it except for Blaise.  We don't ice skate much here in MS as you can imagine!

Here are some pics at the party...

We went down the ice slide......

We attempted to skate....

It was a fun FREE family outing!