Friday, June 29, 2012

Dating/Relationship Series #6: Break up.

Don't casually date for too long...

I know this seems like silly advice because (1) its a dating series yet I am telling you to break up! and (2) I recently wrote about not saying no to dates and how a date is just a date.

I still stand by what I said. A date is not a marriage proposal, and a date, even a couple dates, is not to determine if he or she is "the one"

But, dates are to determine if you want to date that person and dating is to determine if you want to marry him (or her!)

So, at the moment that you realize you can't marry that person (or vice versa), thats when the relationship should end. Normally, this is a few months in, but sometimes you hit that point later on, after striving to work through issues and differences and realizing that there are some deal breakers.

So have fun, date, be casual, but at a certain point, fish or cut bait. When you realize that this is NOT someone you can continue getting to know for the point of marriage, get out. Don't hold yourself (or that person) back.  If you stay in a relationship 6 months longer than you should, thats 6 months less to meet a person thats right for you, maybe longer because you will take longer mourning the breakup.

By the way, the reverse is not always true.  You should most likely know that you CAN'T marry a certain person a few months in.  You may not know that you CAN marry them.  Thats why you keep dating them.

I have done a lot of casual dating (ranging from a few dates to a few months) and I have only stayed in a relationship too long once.  It wasn't the worst dating mistake I have ever made, but who knows who I would have  met etc. if I had ended it quicker.

So, sometimes the best thing you can do for your dating life is break up.  Break up so that you (and he) can move on and meet the right person.

***This was already published, then republished itself. Don't know how to change it back to the original date, so sorry, y'all can read it again !! :) ***

Thankful 106-125

I was counting 1000 things I was thankful for earlier this year and I kindof fell off the bandwagon.  I've still had plenty to be grateful for, but I just forgot to list them, so picking up with 106...

106. family beach trip
107. Jack's first birthday
108. sushi dinners with the girls
109. when baby Jack lays his head on my shoulder
110. pool days
111. when your head finally hits the pillow after a long day :)
112. my new bike I am buying this wkd -- BF and I have recently started biking and I am finally buying my own bike
113. when my family holds hands during prayer
114. sermons that you know God scripted just for you
115. sweet texts from those that care about you
116. learning to fish
117. manicures
118. missionaries
119. adoption - and the fact that our Lord adopted us!
120. new running shoes!
121. knowing someone is praying for you
122. when my BF sneaks a hug or reaches across to grab my hands during prayer
123. Boogie boarding with the cousins during tropical depression Debbie
124. cousins
125. tv nights with the roomies !

So much to be thankful for, and I need to be better about pausing and focusing on that!
What are you thankful for today?

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Healthy Living

Back to a healthy lifestyle....

This may be a boring blogpost to some, so if it is, skip over it.  But, I was uber healthy until about a week and a half ago (vacation) -- not only was I on vacation, I was on vacation during a tropical depression so I couldn't run or work out much.   Its one thing to pig out, its another thing to pig out and not work out. 

So yesterday, I had my first "back to reality' day - although it wasn't such a harsh day.  I am easing back in...worked out for 50 minutes, ate healthy but didn't eat super restricted calories.  I have about 10 more pounds to lose, eh, plus maybe 2-3 more from last week (I refuse to weigh myself until I spend a week eating healthy, it will only upset me)

As I said, this post may bore those of you with perfect figures, but for those of us who have to make an effort, I would love your tips.  I was motivated by a fellow blogger who listed her healthy goals so I decided to do that too.

Here's the plan:

(1) Running/Exercise

I love exercise so this part is not that hard for me.  I like feeling productive and burning stress.

I don't necessarilly love running, I am to the point where I like running.  I am training for a marathon/maybe just another half depending on if my messed up hips can handle runs longer than 15 miles... This weekend is a 13.1 m run.  The reason is like running is that I am not exactly the best runner. It gives me a goal, something to improve on.  I feel proud when I do run a race because I know that although I am active, I am not a great runner so it was a lot of work for me.

(2) Buy a bike

I run, BF doesn't like running. So, he bought a bike and the plan was for me to buy a bike so we would have a healthy hobby together.  I was going to buy one a month ago, then had to drop 750 dollars on new tires so I put it on hold. He bikes daily and lost about 5 pounds in a few weeks.  I am excited for the new hobby with him and the additional way to burn calories. I like running, I don't LOVE something else to do will be great! 

Anyways, I get paid tomorrow and have a bike picked out!

(3) My Fitness Pal

I love my fitness pal.  I had several ppl point me in this direction and I am glad they did.  It's like weight watchers without the points-- I have the app on my phone and type in what I eat.  It helps me realize that if I eat a lot for breakfast or lunch, I will be eating a small dinner...also, I can enter my workouts in so if I have a big day---I can figure out how many calories I have to burn. Last night my dad and I went to dinner.  I knew that dinner would put me a couple hundred calories over my goal of 1000-1200 cals a day, so I entered in elliptical machine and a certain time to see how long I would have to work out that night to make it up.  LOVE it...I did the math and realized I could burn it off, so I didn't feel badly about dinner.

(4) Cut out Diet drinks

I was only drinking Spark by advocare, but accidently left it at home on vacation, SO I intend on cutting out diet drinks again this weekend and only drinking Spark.  (with a couple splurges: I always allow myself a diet drink and yummy breakfast on the day I have my long run AND if I am out and want a drink, I usually get a diet coke and vodka with a lime since its only 60 cal)  Spark is 45 cal a serving, but has caffeine and also is a slight appitite suppressant.  I have one in the morning and I am good to go, I highly suggest it!

(5) Pick better carbs

I used to eat low carb, but I can't do that and train/run. So, I eat carbs but I want to do a better job picking which ones and when I eat them.  I virtually never eat bread, but I want to cut out most processed foods ---except popcorn (I probably eat 100 cal popcorn every day at work bc it fills me up!)

(6) Allow for a few treats

I don't eat a lot of sweets but last night I was craving something sweet and had a weight watchers dessert my sister recommended. It was 90 cal and did the trick.  I decided that I am going to buy some of these frozen treats and keep it in my fridge.  I can do the occasional dessert if its only 90 cal.

I have eaten healthy for 1.5 days already and feel so much better already.  Its funny how I enjoyed our vacation food, but driving home, I was so excited to get back to a normal healthy lifestyle.

Any other tips? Good workouts or food suggestions?

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

What I am reading WEDNESDAY

What I am reading this week.....

(1) I love this article about how sometimes limiting displays of affection is whats best for the other person.  This article talks about situations where one is moving from friendship into relationship. But, I have found this to be true in established relationships where one person needs things to slow down for a bit. I've had it happen to me and I have been the one to slow things down.  I think the author's point about caring for someone meaning you don't make grand statements before you are ready.  I've been hurt by this and currently have a friend who was recently hurt by this (a guy rushing in too fast), so I think its best to wait. Don't discuss serious things too much before you are ready...or if you think the other person is still getting ready.

Displays of public affection, verbal commitments that are born out of sheer emotion, and false promises based on temporary emotions are the "useless" gifts that we can be so generous with. But then we’re too stingy with the costly gifts essential for the other person’s well-being: We don’t consider their welfare before we pronounce our commitment or affection; we don’t consider whether our displays of affection will be healthy for them or cause possible confusion and later hurt. Are you learning to deny your selfish desires and put the other person’s spiritual welfare ahead of your own emotional and physical lusts?

How do you truly know whether you are committed to this person and that you truly love him or her? Here’s how you know: Your love is directly proportional to your willingness to act unselfishly, to even let the person think less of you, if in doing so you are serving their spiritual advancement. If you would rather not declare your love because you want to make sure the relationship is wise, that’s counting the cost. That’s love. If you would rather know whether your feelings are returned before you even know whether the relationship would honor God, that’s selfishness. Analyzing your feelings is a waste of time. Analyze instead the fruit of love, your willingness to sacrifice, your commitment to the other person’s welfare.

(2) This post by Ray Orland is so encouraging..sometimes we are trusting, even when we are struggling through the hurt.  If I had a nickle for every time some well meaning Christian has told me during a time of struggle that I wasn't trusting enough, I'd retire now. Sometimes, there was truth to what they were saying, but MANY times, I was struggling and doubting and trusting anyways....thats hard.  This is espeically common in singleness (and from what I hear, in waiting to have a baby) -- I would usually walk away from those conversations feeling just as frustrated by my singleness as I was before, except now I also felt guilty for being a bad Christian and not trusting God enough. 

You may be going through hell right now. You may be bewildered, gasping, frightened. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t trusting God. It might mean you are trusting God.
Isaiah really unde...rstood something. He understood that it’s in this tension that our strength is renewed. How so? There is something about coming to the end of ourselves and our own strength and wisdom — that’s when our hearts finally crack open, and the love of God pours in.
When we have nothing of our own left, when nothing will suffice but that which is directly and immediately of God, that’s when God alone is our sufficiency, and we find him to be so. He’s worth the wait.

(3)  Jon Acuff hit the nail on the head when talking about fearing the future.  I am bad about this.  When I was job searching, I imagined the future as me living with my parents or barely making ends meet working in a restaurant, drowning in debt.  As a single, I imagine that I will never get married and will spend my holidays all alone in my house eating takeout and watching lifetime or sitting awkwardly through a family meal with someone else.  In law school, I'd miss one question on a final and imagine I failed.  Where is God is these imagined worst outcomes? Nowhere.  Even if the worst were to happen to me, it could still be redeemed, still be salvaged.  Even if I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I would not do it alone.  Thanks for the reminder Jon!

There’s just me. With my meager skills and abilities trying to navigate the entire world
That should be scary. I’m wildly incapable of trying to control the world. I’ve tried. It didn’t work.
God, on the other hand? You’d be surprised h...ow very few things get out of control when they are in his hands. Never is the word that comes to mind. You’d be surprised how many situations are beyond his ability to redeem. None is the word that comes to mind. You’d be surprised how many monsters are bigger than him. Zero is the word that comes to mind.
Fear is a lonely thing because it always tries to tell you there is no God. Don’t listen to it. God is near. And fear is a liar.

(4) Fabs Harford may be my favorite blogger ever.  I want to be her best friend. I relate to everything she writes, partly because she is 30 and single and serving the Lord and stumbling through life like the rest of us, and partly because she is so honest. I love that, I love feeling like she was honest about the good and bad in a situation.

Here is her article on Love v. Ego hunger as it relates to relationships and even more importantly, as it relates to God.

(5) Jesus despises suffering.  Love this article.  Love the Paul Tripp Quote included.

“To have an accurate, biblically balanced view of suffering, you must first say suffering is a bad thing. Its existence points out all the things that are wrong with us and our world. We live in a world that is broken and groaning under the weight of all the damage that the fall has done. We should never look at all of this carnage and think that it is okay that people suffer. Scripture calls us to be a community of compassion, motivated by love, and zealous to relieve or remove suffering whenever and wherever we can. And the Bible promises that there will be a day when all this carnage will forever end, and we will be welcomed into a place totally free of any pain or suffering.” – Paul Tripp, Lost in the Middle

Vacay- 10 things

A small recap of my vacation...once I get my life back in order, I will write more and catch up on life.  Boca Grande would have been great without tropical storm debbie (an unwelcome visitor) -- I spent half a day laying out. only half a day.  I do not like tanning beds (sure I went through my occasional use phase in high school, college and early law school) but for 2-3 years now, I have been a spray tan only girl.  But, i think I may go buy 5 trips to the bed -- I feel if I spent five days NOT billing to get a tan, then dang it, I want a tan. 5 sessions can't kill you right? anyways, back on topic... here's a 10 things I learned/have to share from the week.

(1) I love my family. My whole family went to the beach, cousins, aunts, uncles, and it was fun to see everyone. I have some sweet relatives that I never get to see. I enjoyed spending time in the pool and riding waves during the storm (yes I know this is dangerous) with them.

(2) I am dating the most likable guy every. He fit right in...I received several votes of affirmation, was told that 'your aunt and I voted and we give him two thumbs up" and had a few references to keeping him around. And, I agree with all of them, he gets two thumbs up from me and I plan on keeping him around for awhile.  I've dated men before that seemed insecure or like they had to try really hard. This is difficult for me because I am very outgoing and make friends easilly, so I don't understand how they don't roll with the punches.  Current BF did, and I like him even more because of it.  Seriously, I think some of my relatives may like him better than me, and thats ok!

(3) I may be outgoing, but I need alone time.  I realized that even more this wkd.  I shared a room with 5 other people (bunk room/singles room) and shared a bathroom.  If I needed a moment to think or time to talk my BF- or the one spat we had, I had to find a place to do it.  Vacations are wonderful- and I'm an extrovert, but it always makes me grateful for a day to curl up and read or watch tv when I get home.

(4) I probably gained a lot of weight. like 50 pounds. The food was delicious.  I eat 1000-1200 cals a day at home and work out tons, but this week, did not happen. I was fine with eating more at the beginning of the week because I biked and ran a lot then it got too rainy to do that.  SO, hello gym, starting tonight, we are BFF.

(5) My nephew is officially one years old and officially the most adorable toddler there is!

(6) I love my life.  As I said, I enjoyed my time away, but it was good to get back. I have plans to see several friends this wkd, canue, run, eat sushi, see a movie.  I have fabulous friends, a great church home, good family, and a wonderful bf.  I have plenty of stress in my life too, but as a whole, I have a life that its good to get home to.   That hasn't always been the case. I can remember times when reality was a frustrating thing to return to, but not now, and for that, I am extremely grateful.

(7) I love Mississippi. I have one cousin who hates MS and had a few comments about MS, conservatives, etc etc.  I love my state. I love how progressive its becoming. I love that we hold on to the good traditions and southern history and move away from the negative. I love my home and being around someone who doesn't made me even more aware how much I love the south.

(8) Fifth year of architecture school is going to be really hard.  My BF is about to start his hardest year of school. My uncle is an architect and both my uncle and my aunt (his wife) told BF and I how hard this next year will be.  I'm torn. I'm grateful 5th year is in JXN so he will live in the same city, but I am dreading the time constraints this will put on us and especially on him.  Luckilly, I have endured law school so I have some idea what this will be like, although law school is a little more organized than architecture school (no last minute projects etc)  My solution? Live the next 2 months to its fullest - and be supportive next year.  And although everyone means well when they warn him about their experiances, BF always says we will figure it out in August. How he finds time to balance school, family, me, job search, etc may be different than other people's.  Though, one piece of advice I am taking from my aunt: When you don't see him bc of projects, show up at studio with a plate of cookies :) 

(9) Boogie boarding in a tropical storm/depression -- probably not safe, but is fun!

(10) Rock of Ages was a fun movie -- I suggest going to see it!! 80s rock and a musical...whats not to love???

*** this goes without saying: sometimes life goes differently than you want, but you have to regroup and deal....that being said, I will either be laying out, going to a tanning bed or getting a spray tan this wkd !! ***

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Not as I would have scripted

I read this blog post that a my mother's friend sent her....and I related.  It seems that my poor family has been through a lot over the past 6 or 7 years.  And if the sufferning doesn't belong to me personally or a family member, then dear friends are going through it.  If you don't have time to read my blog post and that article, then skip my post and read what she wrote, because it is far better. There are so many times in my life where I wish I head read an article like this, so I am saving it for the painful times in the future, but please, those who are in the midst of bad times and those who are not, read the linked post today.

Actually I take that back, I may write my own version of this blog post, but for now, I would rather you just read hers. I cut out some of my favorite lines... BUT please read the whole article. I cried.  I've had the long nights and unbearable mornings. I've had the conversations with God where I begged for it not to my turn to suffer or my family's turn to suffer.  I've said, hasn't there already been enough?

But I've also lived the Joy that comes on the other side, the pain.  Sometimes I will be talking to people I know who seem to have had a lives that worked out many areas, the way they would have planned.  And I envy that, but than I felt bad for these people.  Not that I would ever wish pain on anyone, nor would I say hard times are ideal. BUT I would say that there is a Joy and pride in surviving, there is a confidence in one's self for making it through (like hmm, you didn't get the best of me) and even more, there is a confidence in our Lord.  It takes awhile, but I have known the Joy that comes on the other side -- and I have sometimes known the Joy that comes with no pain proceeding it. The Joy that comes after pain is always better, always stronger, always sweeter.  Every time though, I would still pick the easier route to Joy, as most of us would.  Sometimes I still don't think the blessing at the end is worth the suffering -- so thats why its good God is God and not me, that he makes us walk through hard times to learn, grow, cling and find a new Joy, one that is oftentimes better (although its hard to see that in the sad, scary, painful or lonely moments) God redeems, and it is always hard yet amazing to watch Him do so.

Lines from the post that I loved....
If I could have scripted what I wanted life to look like right now- this wouldn't be it.

This isn't the way that I wanted my prayers to be answered.....
I have often felt that I've paid my dues- so to speak- in life.
Often felt that the pieces that string together like pearls to create my testimony- have been more than my fair share.
We can all feel that way at times. When life becomes something we need to survive instead of embrace.

When life is hard. When life is unfair. When life threatens to overtake us and rob us and suffocate the very breath out of us. When mornings are unbearable and the nighttimes are so long we believe that they will never end.

We want to wish away the suffering.

But the suffering - the unbelievably hard things...can sometimes be the Father at work in our lives.

Even if we've already survived a lifetime of suffering before.

Even if we've already had "our fair share" of unfair things happen.

Still. There can be more.

These are the order of events that make the good things- so good- once they finally arrive.

These are the things that bring us to our knees with gratitude once we manage to survive them all.
These are the things that make good movies so good and cause us to read the same books over and over again.
The suffering. The pressing. The crushing.

There can be beauty in scripted suffering. In all that He may allow in our lives.
There can be beauty in the overcoming and the breaking forth....

Even those things.

The things we would never script for our own life...

The Father may use for the pressing.
Even if we've had a lifetime of pressing before.

The anointing. The character shaping. The heart softening. The humility. The ear to hear anothers' heartache. The learned art of listening and doing. The servitude. The ministry. The breaking forth.

He is a God who can resurrect every, single thing in your life that looks like it is over.
He wants you to trust Him. Talk with Him. Seek Him. Ask Him. Love Him even when things do not make any sense. Even when things are unfair. Even when things are so painful it hurts to breathe...
He knows. He sees. He is working. He is faithful. He is orchestrating details right now on your behalf.

And soon sweet friend. The pressing will stop. And the page will turn.

Monday, June 18, 2012

**Birthday Boy**

I had a great weekend...8 mile run, pool day, birthday party, sushi (if I eat sushi, I automatically count it as a good weekend), and a birthday party for my favorite (and only) nephew.

I am sure his mommy will do a long post on the party. It was good a blueberry picnic theme with lots of baby blue and a little pop of red (that doesn't sound like it would work, but it really did!) She took tons of pictures of the decorations.

Here are the few pics I have...

Jack loved the balloons and decorations...

And I loved cuddling with my birthday boy..

Here is a picture with mommy and daddy...

And his cake face...

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy. You make our family so much better. And we are so excited that you will now be living in Baton Rouge.  SO SO much closer than Vermont. Now we can see you a lot more. I am sure you will be busy running around this whole next year and we cant wait!

On other more exciting news, I am about to leave for vacation!! I can't wait!!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Summer in the South.

I love the south. I love summer.  I love southern summers -- hot and humid and muggy. So hot that I have to run at 6 am or 9:30 pm. So hot that we wear dresses and skirts all summer and people not from the south think we just like "dressing up" (which is partly true), but when I was living up north and was told this, I smiled and laughed.  I wear dresses because its a lot cooler than wearing jeans.

I love hearing crickets/cicadas.  I love tans. I love the little girls that form around your face due to the heat.  I love sandals and painted toenails.  I love windows down and country music blaring.  I love crawfish boils and shrimp boils and pool days.

I love cookouts  -- BBQ chicken, corn on the cob, steaks, hamburgers, back porches, patios, cool drinks, paper plates, and messy hands.

I love large front porches on old 100+ year old houses.
I love tall windows with shutters.
I love rocking chairs and porch swings.
I love front porch sitting with iced tea, lemonade, cocktails.
I love waiving at the neighbors walking by.
I love family.

I love babies in monnogramed clothing.
I love smocked dressings on little girls and jumpers on boys.
I love that in the south, babies are expected to dress like babies, not mini adults.
I love white sandals on little boys (not shown here)

I love watermelon -- cold, straight from the fridge, juicy and red, sometimes with salt added.
I love how sticky your hands and chin get....making you need a shower almost immediately.
I love the excitement of buying our first watermelon of the season.

Friday, June 15, 2012


I have been a HORRIBLE blogger.

Part of this is nephew is home (and his mom and dad). I have work, travel obligations, etc, etc...YET some people are excellent at blogging. 

Recently I have been thinking about suffering.  The sermon at my parents' church this wkd was on the first portion of the first chapter of James...a chapter we are all familiar with, because it seems to be a go to chapter when times are tough.

Suffering makes us stronger. It builds perserverance. It develops character and faith and all those lovely things. yada yada yada....

You always hear that and you know its true, but it does stink to hear.  And sometimes I hold on to that encouragement with a death grip and sometimes I let it slip through my ears, because knowing it will make me better doesn't always provide comfort in the midst of it.  Just being honest. Doesn't make it any less true, and 75% of the time, I take JOY in knowing that my suffering or others' suffering can be used for God's glory and my growth.

HOWEVER something stuck out to me during the sermon...something I have heard before, but no one wants to focus on. SUFFERING SHOULD NOT SURPRISE OR SHOCK US. We should expect it, but it always knocks us on our feet, like death or cancer or heartbreak or failure should not be affecting us...wooaa, sorrow, where did you come from?  I think that this idea is from the notion that we "earn" good times.  Of course, if we are prodigal sons, we should not feel surprised when bad times come our way, afterall, we would have earned it. But, I feel I am a decent human being, loves God and others, so life should go easilly.  THEN rough times hit and I literally have to pick myself off the floor.  I am so surprised when bad things happened.

But, if my Savior, who was blameless, suffered, then I, a product of a fallen world, should expect suffering too.

I have to say, one thing I have noticed about myself (and about people much older than me) is that as each year passes, each bit of suffering shocks me less. There is a knowledge of God's faithfulness to pull me through because I have seen it before.  I know who will provide and sustain because I have lived it.

And thats the encouragement for suffering: not only will God use it for His glory and your good, but He will get you through the times when you don't think you will get through.

Let's not live our lives expecting heartache, but knowing it can come at any minute...not in fear, but in gratefullness for the times that we aren't experiancing pain. (After all, in a fallen world, it would be fair of God to only give us pain daily.) 

Anyways, nothing that substantial today, except that I wanted to share that tidbit.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Dating/relationship series #5: How to Fight

This was advice from a sweet friend who has been married a decently long time, but not long enough to have forgotten the dating stage.

She was sharing some marital/dating advice with me...I was essentially asking about dating and marriage and what some of her nuggets of wisdom were for getting along/making it work.  They started dating in high school, got married in college, have two babies, and are raising support for the mission field, so I knew that despite the many ups, they have had some rough times and disagreements...and as I suspected, she had good advice.

Her advice boiled down to this: Fight well.  Don't air your dirty laundry to others and go straight to the source of your, talk to your spouse, boyfriend, etc about the problem, not always everyone else.  Simple enough, righty? But I guess its a lot harder to do...think how much "men bashing" goes on at girls night?  and vice versa? There's a difference between joking about how your husband and you fight over the remote and actually spilling the details of your fights/disagreements to others.  Words of wisdom I am glad to hear.  One day, I would like to apply the same wisdom to my marriage.

So, fight well by actually fighting with/discussing issues with your husband, and not running straight to your girlfriends to whine.  But, also, fight well by establishing some ground rules.  Clearly these will differ for everyone, but the rules could include not raising your voice, sitting next to each other, even touching (to keep things civil and remember that you care about this person you are fighting with), learning how the other person fights.  Take time to calm down if needed.  Agree to address issues as they come up.  Don't go to bed angry (hmm sounds biblical)

Also, some advice from my mom about fighting and relationships: (1) don't tell your parents about all your fights because you will get over it far sooner than they will; and (2) take a break from fighting. Sometimes the issue isn't a heated in the moment conflict, per se, but an ongoing issue -- IE, should we save for this? should our kids go to school here? Can I handle this personality trait? Is this personality difference going to be a deal breaker in our relationship?  You need answers, but unlike a disagreement over a hurtful comment, these won't be settled overnight.  The argument can be settled, but not the whole issue.  So my mom's advice is to take a break and have fun together. If you don't have to make a big decision today and its causing a lot of strife, end the arguing on a good note, enjoy a weekend of dinner out and no discussion, and revisit the issue when you are calmed down.  It's good to remember how much you care for the person you're with and sometimes several days of trying to solve an issue take the fun out of the relationship, so take a break and remember.

So, thats my dating/relationship advice (taken from those who know more than me)  - Fight well.  I gave some examples, but anyone else have tips on how to fight well?? I'd love to know more!

Friday, June 1, 2012

What I am reading Wednes.., I mean Friday

I have been an awful blogger. I will get back to it soon. Until then, a late post on some good articles....

(1) I loved this one: Today was supposed to be my Wedding Day.

This author wrote the article for the Gospel Coalition on the day she was supposed to get married after she and her fiance ended their engagement. I loved the author's words...

"Marriage and family are still the two things I want most in life, but I know that they're in God's control---not mine.... Now, I find fulfillment in God. He is my rock, the one who deserves my love and attention. While it is a daily struggle to trust him with the things I care about so deeply, he has proven that he's looking out for me. I leave my future in his hands."

She certainly has a more mature view of the situation than I did at the time, though I suspect I knew these things to be tue.  I also suspect she has many ups and downs and many days of doubt ahead of her so I keep her and hear aching heart in my prayers.  But what a true statement for anything we go through. Just change the words to say " A healthy marriage is what I want most..." or "A fulfilling career or ministry is what I want most" or "Remission from cancer is what I want most".... Leaving our future in His hands is both the scariest thing (for control freaks like myself) and most comforting thing (oh you mean I dont have to solve this??) we do.

(2) It is no secret that I love this blog by Fabs Harford because I am constantly attaching her articles to my own blog.  I loved this week's blog on being satisfied/being ok.

"This is the Gospel: our confession that we are helpless apart from His intervention. The irony of our desire for things to be okay is that ultimately - things will only turn out okay for those who have the grace to know that they need God make things okay. Things will not turn out okay for those who persist in seeking to climb their way to an eternal ‘okay’.

Every time you feel your desire for everything to turn out for your good tempt you to control or manipulate or plan, instead let that longing lead you to ask God for help. He promises that He will work every single detail of every single minute of every single day for our good if we’re in Christ.

Every moment is happening – not in spite of God’s promise to make everything turn out okay – but because of His promise that He will work everything for my good."
(3) Choose Joy.
We must choose joy. We must, if necessary, say out loud to ourselves and to God that we will rejoice in Him today.


(4) When all you can see is how bad things are.....