Friday, June 29, 2012

Dating/Relationship Series #6: Break up.

Don't casually date for too long...

I know this seems like silly advice because (1) its a dating series yet I am telling you to break up! and (2) I recently wrote about not saying no to dates and how a date is just a date.

I still stand by what I said. A date is not a marriage proposal, and a date, even a couple dates, is not to determine if he or she is "the one"

But, dates are to determine if you want to date that person and dating is to determine if you want to marry him (or her!)

So, at the moment that you realize you can't marry that person (or vice versa), thats when the relationship should end. Normally, this is a few months in, but sometimes you hit that point later on, after striving to work through issues and differences and realizing that there are some deal breakers.

So have fun, date, be casual, but at a certain point, fish or cut bait. When you realize that this is NOT someone you can continue getting to know for the point of marriage, get out. Don't hold yourself (or that person) back.  If you stay in a relationship 6 months longer than you should, thats 6 months less to meet a person thats right for you, maybe longer because you will take longer mourning the breakup.

By the way, the reverse is not always true.  You should most likely know that you CAN'T marry a certain person a few months in.  You may not know that you CAN marry them.  Thats why you keep dating them.

I have done a lot of casual dating (ranging from a few dates to a few months) and I have only stayed in a relationship too long once.  It wasn't the worst dating mistake I have ever made, but who knows who I would have  met etc. if I had ended it quicker.

So, sometimes the best thing you can do for your dating life is break up.  Break up so that you (and he) can move on and meet the right person.

***This was already published, then republished itself. Don't know how to change it back to the original date, so sorry, y'all can read it again !! :) ***


  1. Awesome as usual!
    BUT...I have to add that I hated Dan for quite a long time (maybe not hated but he was soo pushy and I had gave him my two cents on more than one occasion). So you TRULY never ever know who you end up with. I spent quite some time trying to set him up with other people to be honest!
    Ya never ever know!

  2. Agreed, but its probably best you didn't date him til you were ready!! I think many times we are surprised with who we end up with! My BF and I joke about how if we had met a few years ago, both of us wouldn't have been interested...I was uptight, he was wilder, but now was the perfect timing.