What do Happy People do Differently??

22 things HAPPY people do differently....

This definitely was good food for thought.  Some I do (eat well, treat people kindly, tell the truth, nurture social relationships)  and other things, not so much....(accept what cannot be changed, see problems as challlenges, etc....)

Some of my personal ways to stay happy include:

1. I try to stay tied to my Savior. On my desk, I have a note reminding me that my identity is in Christ, so when I forget and base it on friends, work, etc, I can see the truth on a post it!

2. I surround myself with friends and family.

3. I donot waste mycircumstances..  I may be very unhappy with where I am in life but  I generally try to remain busy and enjoy the good. I didn't love singleness but I travelled and was involved in ministry, etc.  I used my singleness. I am not thrilled about moving without a job lined up, but if we do, I plan on spending those first few weeks that I'm jobless cooking and setting up house. 

4. I rock out in the mornings to Christian Music.  I know, I'm the dork who listens to K love every morning. I don't care. It makes me happy to start out my morning with a little encouragement

5.  I set goals in different areas.  When I feel I am failing in another area, I pick an area with a goal and work to achieve that.  I ran my first half marathon because I was dissapointed with my dating life at the time and needed a goal. Feeling down?  Try losing 5 pounds, running a 5k, learning to sew.

6. When I have a rough day, I remind myself that all I have to do is make it til bedtime because the Lord's mercies are new the next day.



What about you? What things do you do to stay Happy?

Thanks ------> Joy

Check out this post

"Waiting till you’re happy before you give thanks, is like waiting to be healthy before you take your vitamins. Vitamins are what make you healthy. Giving thanks is what makes you happy. Giving thanks is the way we awaken to the presence of God all around us and only in His presence is fullness of joy. Giving thanks is what gets you joy."


Life is a little stressful right now, albeit blessed in many many ways.  I'm marrying my best friend....but I likely have to move... and study for the bar exam again...and make new friends...and find a job in a city where I don't have tons of connections....oh, and I have no idea what city this is yet!! And he is stressed because firms can't even keep their own architects, much less hire any more.  Oh, and I'm not sure how I want to use my degree...or if I can find creative ways to use it.

In one way, life is opening up in good good ways, but in another way, it feels like it is in chaos... I LOVE certainty and hate that there is so much in our life for the next few months, and honestly, there has been uncertainty for awhile. 

But I need to try this approach.  I am thankful that we are going to move together.  I am thankful that being a couple in a new city means we have an opportunity to make friends together and a chance to rely only on eachother for a bit, strengthening our marriage.  I am thankful that Dave has interviews and possible options.  I am thankful that I will have a break from law as I study for the bar exam so I can figure out what my next step is going to be.  I am thankful for technology and roadways so I can come home often.  I am thankful that God blessed me with such community these past 3.5 years that leaving will be hard.  I am thankful Dave is working hard to find a job. I am thankful I have a job.  I am thankful we are nearing a more certain time in our lives. I am thankful its warm today. I am thankful for tennis with friends last night.  I am thankful for snowcones and easter dresses and weddings (T-2 weeks for a sweet friend)!!

I am thankful that my stresses and uncertainty are just stresses.  Its not death or divorce or illness.  It's inconveniance and a sense of being lost, but its nothing permenant or drastically destructive.

Oh, yeah, and I am thankful that I get to marry my best friend.  Thats what I am most thankful for. I probably need to remind myself off all the blessings and not the small stressses every hour on the hour.

Try it. Whatever is stressful today: Job, babies, spouse, singleness, sickness, relationships, etc.  What good things can we be thankful for? Maybe striving to be thankful can give us Joy, or remind us of all we have to be joyful about?

JOY

The third week of Advent focuses on JOY.  It is the only pink candle while the other 3 arepurple (hope, love and peace) This week began with "rejoicing sunday" but as a whole, the nation is finding it hard to rejoice.  And maybe you, due to specific painful circumstances, find it hard to rejoice this advent season.....

However, I did want to post this article on JOY and Avent in the wake of the CT shootings.  Also, read this article about the third candle in the midst of pain as well.

"After this, we are reminded of the reason we can rejoice: the Lord is near. The Psalmist tells us “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” (Psalm 34:19) That is a promise to hold onto in the midst of this pain."

Despite whatever pain we see, feel or witness, we have a lot to rejoice in: The Lord is near - near to us in our pain and suffering! That is the only thing that can provide hope, joy and peace for the brokenhearted.  

Let's talk about my JOYS



SIDENOTE: This goes along with my previous post on contentment in singleness: thankfulness.  I did not realize the relation until this post was done, but if you want to read my first post, click here.

I saw this quote on pinterest and loved it.  And it caused me to think, I want to share some of the JOYS of my life.  I hope I do a good job of sharing both, but sometimse, in my effort to provide an honest forum on singleness, maybe I overlook some of the benifits.

Every coin has two sides and there are many benifits to singleness.  Sure, I still would give it up in a heartbeat for the right man and right marriage, BUT in the meantime, I am soaking up all the single life has to offer.

Some of my JOYS.....

I have amazing friends. I had great college friends (and still do) but then I made my adult friends who are the type of friendships you hope for in college and many people have in college....but a lot of my friends in other cities have struggled to find adult friendships like I have been blessed with.  I love these friendships so much that when I have considered moving, this has been a driving force in keeping me there.

I love not having kids.  This is a catch 22 because I also hate not having kids.  But I love that my friday night can be whatever I want it to be-- drinks, hearing a band, late movie or laundry and netflix.  I love seeing adult movies (and by adult, I don't mean porn, I mean non-children's movies) when I go to the movies and not having to hire a babysitter.  So even though I want children, I have those moments (usually when my heart goes out to a mom with a crying baby in the store) where I think, "Its not so bad not to be there yet"

I know I complain sometimes about how so many people expect singles to make all the effort and singles to give so much (because it assumes I have no commitments!)  Despite my complaining, I am glad I have had the opportunity to teach childrens sunday school, help with showers and parties, teach a small group for youth group.  I sometimes overcommit, but I am glad I had opportunities to serve.

I am glad I finished my education and had no reason to stop.  I am glad I travelled the world--15 countries and counting!  I am glad I gave guys a chance.

I'm enjoying being in love.  Not to say my married friends aren't in love or that I won't be in love when I'm married, but there is something exciting about new love -- and at 27/28, I have been better able to appreciate how special it is to find someone you click with.  When people say enjoy this phase, I miss it  or Im jealous of this stage, I can actually understand what they are saying.  :)  This phase will pass too quickly.

I find joy in using my experiances to encourage others and reach out.

And I find JOY in the small things -- a cup of coffee and convo with a good friend, porch wine nights with the roomies and others, finding the perfect date outfit when shopping, watching a cheesy chick flick and thinking, "hmm maybe thats what my story will be like!", reading a good christian book, prayer, margaritas, a new pair of boots, tailgating, loving on my nephew.

I love hosting parties. I love date nights and kisses and sitting next to Dave in church.  I love being able to sing hymns without a kid climbing on me. I love rejoicing with my friends over dates and "i love you's" and even just a good conversation with a sweet guy at a party.  I know how important these aspects are and I am glad I can help celebrate.

I love seeing Dave but being able to go home and do my own stuff if needed. I love our sunday routine of early church, lunch, then the afternnon to do whatever I want or need to before meeting back up for dinner and a movie.

One day, I'd love the added blessing (and sometimes stress) of marriage and babies, but my life now is full of a lot of JOY too.  I would be doing y'all a diservice if I did not tell you.  Life, each and every stage, has lots of good moments and I am thankful for them.

I think people do singles a disservice by ignoring their pain, but I also think sometimes people do us a disservice by trivializing our blessings -- lets rejoice in promotions, raises, first dates, good trips, happy weekends.  And singles, do a better job of realizing and celebrating your own joys.  It would be a shame to miss out on the good things in our lives!!

What I am reading Wednes.., I mean Friday

I have been an awful blogger. I will get back to it soon. Until then, a late post on some good articles....

(1) I loved this one: Today was supposed to be my Wedding Day.

This author wrote the article for the Gospel Coalition on the day she was supposed to get married after she and her fiance ended their engagement. I loved the author's words...

"Marriage and family are still the two things I want most in life, but I know that they're in God's control---not mine.... Now, I find fulfillment in God. He is my rock, the one who deserves my love and attention. While it is a daily struggle to trust him with the things I care about so deeply, he has proven that he's looking out for me. I leave my future in his hands."

She certainly has a more mature view of the situation than I did at the time, though I suspect I knew these things to be tue.  I also suspect she has many ups and downs and many days of doubt ahead of her so I keep her and hear aching heart in my prayers.  But what a true statement for anything we go through. Just change the words to say " A healthy marriage is what I want most..." or "A fulfilling career or ministry is what I want most" or "Remission from cancer is what I want most".... Leaving our future in His hands is both the scariest thing (for control freaks like myself) and most comforting thing (oh you mean I dont have to solve this??) we do.

(2) It is no secret that I love this blog by Fabs Harford because I am constantly attaching her articles to my own blog.  I loved this week's blog on being satisfied/being ok.

"This is the Gospel: our confession that we are helpless apart from His intervention. The irony of our desire for things to be okay is that ultimately - things will only turn out okay for those who have the grace to know that they need God ...to make things okay. Things will not turn out okay for those who persist in seeking to climb their way to an eternal ‘okay’.


Every time you feel your desire for everything to turn out for your good tempt you to control or manipulate or plan, instead let that longing lead you to ask God for help. He promises that He will work every single detail of every single minute of every single day for our good if we’re in Christ.

Every moment is happening – not in spite of God’s promise to make everything turn out okay – but because of His promise that He will work everything for my good."
 
(3) Choose Joy.
 
We must choose joy. We must, if necessary, say out loud to ourselves and to God that we will rejoice in Him today.


THIS ARTICLE REMINDED ME THAT I HAVE NOT DONE MY THANKFULNESS LIST RECENTLY. TIME TO DO THAT SOON.

(4) When all you can see is how bad things are.....

Gratefulness/Brokeness to Beauty

Brokeness to Beauty is probably the reoccuring theme in my life.  I look at pain I've gone through and even worse pain that so many close to me have experianced and often wonder if the Lord can redeem that.  I think the problem is that He does redeem and restore, but we have a hard time accepting an idea of good that is different from what we once knew or what we thought would happen.

Example: Even if I met Mr Right tomorrow and got married 6 months from now, I think I am still going to be frustrated that I went through a broken engagement, that my life took awhile to work out, that I had to wait.  I had a picture in my head of how it would work out (and a picture that came not from my own preconcieved notions, but from what was my reality for awhile) -- that I might have a hard time accepting a wonderful blessing that comes in a form or timeline I did not want.

I think the same can be said for those who have waited for Children or to buy a home or to finally get into the job/ministry/missions they wanted. Or waited for healing from physical pain...When we get to the blessing, how do we not let the years of waiting hurt us, color our views, make us bitter? My biggest struggle and fear is to not let myself get frustrated at God when his blessings come on His timeline not mine.  I should just be grateful the blessings come, but I can't help but think what were the years of waiting for???

And I know I am not alone in this.  Thats why I loved this blog post about bruises leading to beauty and this blog post about what God means for good.

maybe the problem is that we already have an idea of what life is supposed to be. What I think is best is not necessarilly whats best.  And maybe what needs to be adjusted isn't God's timeline but my idea of what's good (and everyone else's idea of what's good)  I would hate to miss the learning along the way and more importantly, I would hate to miss the joy of His blessings when they come because I am still arguing with Him about His timeline.

So my current goal in life is to stop having such a preconceived notion of when things have to happen, to start seeing the purpose of waiting, to enjoy my blessings now and to just appreciate the blessings when they come, rather than be angry they didn't happen earlier.

I am considering doing that 1000 gifts gratefulness list thing, but I haven't read the book yet.  However I get the concept. It makes sense. We all struggle with wishing for certain blessings and wishing they came on our timeline that we often miss the small blessings each day.  I'd like to start counting.  I think my time wouldn't feel like waiting always if I noticed what the Lord was doing now, not what I wish he had done now.

anyone do a gratefulness list?? Tell me about it. I'm dying to know and excited to start counting my blessings.  I want to see how even the bad things are used by God and how even small blessings saturate my daily life.

Love, Circumstances and Worship

**for those of you sick of all my links to Advent articles, don't worry, I will have to actually write stuff starting on the 26th, rather than just linking up to better written articles.  But, I can't help posting so much about advent. The more I study it, the move I love that God gives us these 4 focuses as we WAIT for HIM: hope, peace, joy, and finally love.

This final week of advent is the week of love. Essentially it all leads up to this-- the longing, the anticipation, the peace, the joy --- it all points us to the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

If we never had anything else, if no one else loved us, that single act would be enough.  If I never get married, If I never rock my own babies, If I do get married and my husband leaves me or my boyfriend breaks up with me, If my kids rebel, If friends leave me, If family doesn't understand or abandons, that is enough. Although it doesn't feel like enough sometimes, the fact remains that Christ's first advent and his future advent is the best act of love I will ever know and the main love that matters.  Not to say the others aren't good, but it is good to remember which love is essential.

My heart aches for so many this season. I know people who have had parents divorce or they have divorced. I know families who have lost children. I certainly have plenty of friends waiting for husbands or babies. While Christmas has been mostly joyfully this year (thankfully), I have known my share of Christmases that felt empty in some shape or form.  I'm sure we have all felt that way -- grumpy kids, family who couldn't make it, single, lost a family member -- whatever life threw at us this year made it hard to focus on how much we were loved by a Savior that became man.

I know how hard it can be to remember the God who loves us and should be worship when the circumstances are tough so that is why I loved this article on Christmas Perspectives.

In this article, the author talks about her aunt who was sick yet still showed up to holidays and her uncle's sorrow the year she was gone. She also talks about her own Christmases not going as expected.

An excerpt:

I remember the difficulty of lining up my expectations with what God was actually doing, and thinking, “This isn’t good, God. How did You allow this to happen?” And it took a couple of years, I can remember, of having Christmases that were good, they were ... good, but they were tough, too, where I would tear up and then put my make-up back on and go out and be with people, because it wasn’t exactly what I expected.
I could have sat down and said, “I don’t like this, God, and I’m not going to celebrate You, which is really an awful thought of self-pity—on Christmas day? That’s ridiculous!” Or I could say, “Why has God allowed this opportunity issue in my life? Could it be to turn my focus outward?”
I had never realized how many other people were in the same situation on Christmas day. There were plenty of people who found themselves alone for whatever reason, and it gave me an opportunity to think through, “What could God want with this, what could He be directing my gaze to?”


If God is love (as we know He is), then every circumstances is lovingly allowed by Him and can point us to Him. That is most important to realize this holiday season.  What we were waiting for was His coming and saving us, and Christmas, particular this week, is a focus on that act of love coming to fruition...in its first stages. Also it challenged me to love on others who are hurting just as Christ loved me....because He was born, died, resurrected and sees me through each day- good and bad, then I am able to love others. In the interview she linked in her article, the author discusses using her hard Christmases to remind her to reach out to others (by throwing a Christmas brunch)

Loving others who are hurting and not just thinking of our own pain, now there's an amazing thought. Although I have reached out to some this season, not nearly enough....I will be thinking through the year, How can I focus on God's love and not my circumstances during advent? And how can I love others as well?

Santa and Joy

First of all, even if you aren't a fan of santa, aren't you a fan of this little guy? So stinking cute!



Secondly, feel free to give yourself permission to have Joy this holiday season.

Also, check out this advent guide  my friend Alexandria sent me from Village Church in Dallas. I have no idea how she got ahold of it but its great. Its a family weekly guide for 5 weeks but I read through half of it last night and its great. I love that churches, even non traditional churches, are celebrating advent....and encouraging families to do so. I plan on celebrating advent with my family one day.

Finally, this doesn't have tons to do with the JOY week of advent, but a friend of mine read this quote (while celebrating advent) and shared it with me. I love it:

"When we demand satisfaction of one another, when we demand any completion to history on our terms, when we demand that our anxiety or any dissatisfaction be taken away, saying as it were, 'Why weren't you this for me? Why didn't life do that for me?' we are refusing to say 'Come, Lord Jesus.' We are refusing to hold out for the full picture that is always given by God."

-Richard Rohr
 
I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday/weekend. I plan on taking a break from being outgoing and doing some of the Christmas activities I have yet to do because of parties and work -- wrap presents, make holiday candy, mail cards....all while watching a Christmas movie! 

The Pink Candle: Be Joyful

I loved this article on God's gift of Joy during advent....Here is an excerpt:

 Advent is a time in which we must make ourselves open to being humbled, to feeling our own limits. Three purple candles: three Sundays, one still to come, of serious humbling, of waiting.



But this is the interesting thing: God knows this is difficult.  He knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. And so, we celebrate the third Sunday—the “joyful” Sunday—with a pink, celebratory candle.......I think of this as God’s way of reminding us that we are not just slogging through a miserable existence because he asks us to. He wishes us to find joy here, now, as a taste of what we can expect—as a reminder of what we’re waiting for.


This is the beauty of the rose candle. It is a beauty that reminds us that even when we are to be repenting, even when we must feel the limitations of our humanity, there is something bigger under us, holding us up, holding all things together. I’ve come to believe that we can only experience joy—we can only smile, and celebrate—when we know that the good things are a gift from the one who sees the bad and still tells us, rest, delight, be joyful.



He wishes us to find Joy now.  We wait for Joy and rightfully so, because nothing in this earth will ever make us fully contended. We long for His return, and even daily we long for our circumstances to change. We long for healing or the return of loved ones. But, the pink candle reminds us that there is JOY to be had now, there is living in the waiting.  So while we spend this season reflecting, hoping, praying, repenting, longing, Let us also spend it enjoying all the many blessings the Lord has given us!

Advent: Fighting for Joy

This weeek on advent focuses on JOY (the pink candle) which I know can be a hard thing for a lot of people this time of year. Although my Christmas season is mostly full of blessings, I have even had a a few down moments....

So, how do we hold on to Joy - when the world seems to be falling apart? (I feel totally unqualified to answer this question since I know my dissapointments, my bad days deal with work and relationships and family -- not death or sickness or divorce. In no way do I want to sound condescending.."Just have Joy."..but I do know that there are some things we can do to have Joy....at Christmas and other times of the year.

1. Count your blessings

I try to remind myself daily of my blessings. (Today my blessing is that my Jack Attack is coming to MS today for the holidays, love that baby boy!) The truth is as we count our blessings, we can see that our lives - though painful they may be - aren't empty of all goodness.  I've come to find that some of my toughest years are sprinkled with some of my favorite moments, memories, blessings. Rarely is life all good or all bad.

2. Remember God's past faithfulness.

The Lord has been faithful and He will be again. How quickly we forget His provision.  Focusing on what He has done reminds us that He can and will do good things in our lives, in our circumstances.

3. Rely on His timing.

Psalm 30 tells us that weeping may last for a night, but Joy comes in the morning.  We fight for joy during hard times, but at a certain point in time, we see His faithfulness and provision and Joy comes.  Don't give up too quickly. He makes all things beautiful in His time.

4. Take a time out.

Especially in the holidays, take a moment away if you need to. Skip a party and take time to pray, read scripture, sleep, cry, etc. I think we get so busy trying to be happy or trying to survive, that we forget to take a moment and grieve what we need to grieve and run to the arms of our Savior. Joy doesn't require happiness at every moment and Joy certainly isn't something you achieve on your own, so run to Christ, tell him your hurts, admit your struggle for Joy.  There is no better person to be honest with about your heartache. There is no better person to seek Joy from. When I lack Joy the most is when I feel I have to try to appear happy the most.  Instead, be honest that life hurts and ask for Joy DESPITE those circumstances (rather than Joy pretending those circumstances don't exist)

5. Praise and Worship

Count your blessings, remember Christ's faithfulness - and praise Him.  Worship quickly reminds us the Lord is in charge, He has done good things for us, and He is worthy to be praised.

6. Focus on others.

Concern for others helps take our focus off ourselves.

7. Ask. and ask some more.

The Bible verse famously says we should ask and it will be given to us, seek and we will find, knock and the door will be opened...notice how after asking, the person didn't give up? He increased his requests with more intensity -- he asked, then he sought, then he knocked.  Struggling with Joy? ask the Lord and don't quit asking.

8. Think on what is lovely.

I already mentioned counting blessings and remembering God's provision, but thinking on what's lovely includes a happy Christmas movie or song, remembering a funny joke from lunch, an inspirational quote, and encouraging word.  Think on things that make you happy -- happiness may not equal Joy, but remembering good things in your live helps cultivate a Joyful spirit.

9. Remember, its just one holiday & 10. The gospel remains true despite our circumstances.

It may not be the best holiday season or the best year. Your life story may not be a hallmark movie this year....but not every year will be this hard, not every holiday will be this hard.  Also, praise God that the gospel remains true whether we feel Joy or not. You may struggle to praise and worship Him for His birth this season, but it makes His birth, life, death and resurrection no less significant.  In fact, when we struggle the most to appreciate the significance of Christmas is when we need it the most.

My heart breaks for those suffering this holiday season. I remember my first Christmas after my wedding was called off. I remember my sweet family trying to make it a huge ordeal and being incredibly cheerful and having champagne and bending over backwards...and you know what? it still sucked..nothing was going to make it great (although there were good moments) No doubt about it, the worst Christmas of my life (thus far).  At some moments that holiday season, I fought for Joy -- tried to enjoy the holidays despite my circumstances, tried to laugh and do the "things" I had always done. (first round of law school finals didn't help me fight for Joy though haha) and sometimes I just gave in and was grumpy and ungrateful.  But, I know this to be true: Christmas meant something different to me than ever before. I had never felt alone on the holidays (although I truthfully wasn't alone), I had never felt so hurt and I had never before struggled to celebrate Christ's birth ...YET that was the year that his birth meant the most to me.  I didn't quit hurting, but I was aware that I had a Savior who gave up a throne to come to a sinful hurtful world and die so that I did not have to hurt for eternity.  If nothing else gives you Joy this holiday season, let that give you Joy, let that reality hit home....this pain is not forever...because there was a first Christmas, this lonely or hard Christmas is not forever...weeping may last for the night, but Joy really will come in the morning.

Practice what you preach

So far, I have been sharing about advent from the perspective of I learned about advent last year...and even from the perspective of I am learning these things this year, but so far its been pretty easy to practice what I preach. So I am haven't been speaking from the trenches, from the battlefields of holiday dissapointment and fighting for joy. So far having joy and hope this season has been immensely easy.

But this past weekend was discouraging for several reasons (mostly the fact that I was exhausted)...and unlike my previous advent posts, yesterday's post wasn't directed at encouraging others, it was directed at encouraging me. I needed the reminder that Immanuel means God is with me and is concerned about me and the small details of my life. I needed the reminder that hope is not silly. I needed the reminder that when exhausted or dissapointed or confused, Christ is right there with me.  That fact alone gives me hope.

Last night I was praying before bed and realized this is where the rubber hits the road, where I practice what I preach....Do I believe that the Lord is with me when the holiday seems overwhelming with parties, little sleep, letdowns, irritations with friends, disspointments in dating? Do I believe the Lord is soverign when things don't seem perfect?  Do I still believe the Lord can be trusted and we can have hope even when the holiday season, a relationship, a friendship, family, job,  circumstances, etc have let me down?

We weren't meant to have Hope and Peace when then things are perfect, Hope and Peace (during advent and year-round) are meant to sustain us when things aren't perfect.

I'm willing to bet I am not the only person feeling let down by the holiday season..there are those feeling overwhelmed by shopping, dreading family time, annoyed by shopping with a screaming 2 year old, feeling alone in a new town, dealing with sick family member, longing for a baby, etc.  But, at this time, more than ever, we are supposed to hope...when the world laughs at us for doing so, for believing that circumstances get better or atleast will be redeemed, for believing in healing and provision, for believing that waiting on God is a good thing.  It's okay, we know the ending....we know that He is coming, both in the present and in the future.

Advent: PEACE

Read this wonderful little post: Advent: Finding Joy in Waiting


This week of advent is focused on peace (and preparation) -- this author makes the wonderful point that PEACE isn't not having troubles, but knowing God's presence during those trials. So while we wait for the Lord's return, we will know trials and we will wait, but during the waiting, we are granted HIS PRESENCE.


From the article:

"Advent also reminds us that though waiting is done on our end, the appearing is His part. Many of us are waiting on God in different areas of our lives. Advent reminds us that He has a history of appearing. Yes, He appeared in Bethlehem more than 2,000 years ago, but He also appeared in your life and mine when we were in need.....He has come, and He is here… with you… with me. And no matter what we are waiting on — employment, healing, direction, money, a spouse, or your first child — He will surely come and deliver the need. He will advent. In the meantime, we wait in peace, because peace isn’t the absence of trouble, but rather the presence of God. We wait in faith. We wait in joyful expectation of Him."

Joy in Waiting.

Right now, so much of my life is waiting....waiting to find the right job, waiting to know where I will live, waiting on a spouse, waiting on kids-- and I am not going to lie or try to cover this fact up, it is hard. Life is full of ups and downs- but some times, like now, aren't necessarily downs, they are just periods of waiting. And though the downs are rough, there is a unique challenge that comes in waiting, unique pain and trials, and also unique joy found during this period.

Most people seek a Yes or No answer from God (and from others). And though they may not like the answer "No", atleast it provides certainty. It is something to come to terms with, to accept, and to build your life around. "No this is not the path to take. No this is not your spouse. No this is not the job I have for you." No may not be the answer we want, but atleast it is an answer. Sometimes NO clearly points you in the direction you should go and sometimes it atleast narrows things down. Waiting does not give you the same luxury...no clarity, no direction.

Waiting is sometimes a feeling of being lost. You may earnestly want to seek the Lord's will and do what He directs, but how can you? You are still waiting for an answer. Still no clear path. You cant joyfully delight in God's provision of your request. You can't humbly accept His no and see the benefits of following His will. You just blindly move forward seeing only the step in front of you, glorifying the Lord in your small decisions and daily life, not knowing where the path leads...

As I said earlier, I know a thing or two about waiting...sometimes I accept this stage of my life, sometimes I fight it, sometimes I just feel lost. But Waiting provides the Christian with a few opportunities and lessons:

1. Waiting is not just an ends to a means, sometimes its the means itself. Currently I am waiting for a husband, a family, and a job I enjoy. Waiting will most likely lead to those things -- in God's timing. But waiting serves as a time of growth in and of itself. Waiting has taught me a lot about myself. In my job, it has taught me how to find Joy in daily tasks, how to choose Joy when there is very little to be joyful about. I have learned contentment while still grasping on to hope. All of these will make me a better worker when I find a job I would rather be at, but for now, this job is growing patience, contentment, Joy, the ability to confess my sins (for the many times I do lack Joy in my job). These are qualities I would not be developing had life worked out the way I wanted with a job immediately after graduation in the city I wanted to live in

2. There is oftentimes a greater level of Joy for those who wait. Waiting has its share of agony, of choosing patience and obviously, in failing to be joyful and having to seek the Lord's forgiveness. But, for those who wait and fight for hope and Joy, I do believe they one day know greater Joy. Just ask the mother who had several miscarriages or years of infertility as she longed for a child. How special that moment must be when she finally delivers (or adopts) and holds that baby!! Not that holding a baby for the first time is not special for everyone, but it must be so special for the mother who waited, longed, and prayed. Why? because she knows the pain and loss of waiting. She knows the blessing and miracle that baby is because she has been without it.

3. Waiting refines our desires. I am 26 and not married. Definitely not my plan, definitely an embarressment I carry daily. I had expectations of the man I would marry. But, as I long and pray for a spouse, my desires about what marriage will be like and what I want in a husband has changed. Some things have become more important, some have become less. My views are (hopefully) aligning more with the Lord's desires.

4. Waiting refines us. Waiting for a spouse and better job has given me a chance to grow. I needed more patience, more contentment, more courage to hold on to hope. I needed more trust. And I have the chance to work on these things.

5. Waiting in a way that glorifies the Lord requires hope. This is both a blessing and a struggle. I am practical and I also want to glorify the Lord. If that means accepting my life in its current state and learning to be happy now, never wanting more, then despite the struggle, I want to do that. But sometimes the most courageous thing to do is HOPE for more, to believe that God can heal the sick, bring companionship, bring a family, change a heart, etc. But the practical part of me wants to scream, "no I can't be tricked. I won't let my heart hope for more because it could be hurt. I am going to be tough and learn to cope." Isn't that true? Christians often talk about surviving, being strong. But being strong doesn't just require buckling down for the long road ahead, being strong is protecting your heart from bitterness and becoming hard. When you read about waiting on the Lord in the bible, I am always amazed about how the words seems so hopeful, some verses even mention hope.. see the following verses

Psalm 5:3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Psalm 130: 5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Micah 7:7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 33:20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

Waiting has taught me to hold on to hope for the Lord to redeem, restore, heal --even when others doubt and criticize, even when it seems foolish. Scripture reveals that waiting and hope/expectation go hand in hand.

6. Waiting points to Christ in a unique way. As I have struggled with waiting over the past couple years of my life, I have been blessed with side effect I did not expect....ANTICIPATION. Moses Ceasar said, “God created you. He loves you very much. And when you put your life in his hands and you surrender unconditionally…your waiting experience doesn’t become agony, it becomes anticipation.” I have learned to hope in the Lord in a special way and as I come daily to the Lord with my doubts and struggles, I find that it reveals an even greater longing --for eternity, for His presence. This has caused me to cling to cross and the promise of heaven in a way I cannot even describe. Waiting for ______ (insert whatever you are waiting for) can reveal an even greater Wait we all have. Although there is more certainty in our Christian walk (heaven, eternity is a known end to our wait), there still is a wait which requires hope and anticipation to make it through the long days before the end result. Waiting for the small stuff has become a compass towards


7. Finally, waiting gives you a chance to rely on God to meet your needs. This is especially noticable in the marriage department. I lack some of the emotional and spiritual intimacy and encouragement that comes with a spouse. Lacking that sometimes is very hard, but I have been striving to go to the Lord. I find that where others don't understand that, the Lord has been able to meet those needs. And that is a unique blessing I did not know until the past couple years...to have the Creator of the universe meet my needs so personally while I wait for His provision.

Waiting has not been my favorite phase of life, and honestly, its not a phase I hope to remain in. It hurts, its challenging, it is stripping me of my sin and doubts and that process is painful. Sometimes waiting is silent lonely times with lots of prayers and searching and very few answers But it has had its moments- moments I would not trade - moments where I saw the Lord's goodness and moments where I was changed. I eagerly wait for the day where i look back and say, "oh I see what that waiting was for" but part of me suspects there are purposes to my waiting that I wont realize here on this earth. It is comforting to know that the Lord intends to use it all.