JOY

The third week of Advent focuses on JOY.  It is the only pink candle while the other 3 arepurple (hope, love and peace) This week began with "rejoicing sunday" but as a whole, the nation is finding it hard to rejoice.  And maybe you, due to specific painful circumstances, find it hard to rejoice this advent season.....

However, I did want to post this article on JOY and Avent in the wake of the CT shootings.  Also, read this article about the third candle in the midst of pain as well.

"After this, we are reminded of the reason we can rejoice: the Lord is near. The Psalmist tells us “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” (Psalm 34:19) That is a promise to hold onto in the midst of this pain."

Despite whatever pain we see, feel or witness, we have a lot to rejoice in: The Lord is near - near to us in our pain and suffering! That is the only thing that can provide hope, joy and peace for the brokenhearted.  

Bethleham: beginning of our Journey

“For outlandish creatures like us, on our way to a heart, a brain, and courage, Bethlehem is not the end of our journey but only the beginning—not home but the place through which we must pass if ever we are to reach home at last.”

-Frederick Buechner



I know I focus a lot on the hope of Christmas, the hope of a Savior who knows our pain, and that is because I have (like most everyone reading this) had times where the only comfort I felt was the knowldge that my Savior understood my pain.  But the other part of that hope, the more important part, is that we have a Savior who not only came and lived in our broken world and understands us, but He later conquers our broken world through death and ressurection and is returning for His people.  Bethleham is a beautiful introduction/first chapter to an even more beautiful book!

Advent for the Hurting

HERE is an article about the Connecticut shootings in relation to advent and Christmas.  My heart (as the hearts of most of the nation) break for these poor families and this community.  And although it seems painful, Christmas is meant for these families.  Advent reminds us that Christ came to our broken world, praying that all those that hurt in Connecticut and across the World CLING to the hope of our Savior this holiday season!

FROM THE ARTICLE:

“In one sense, of course, Jesus is the reason for the season. But in another fundamental sense, sin is the reason for the season. We have not entered into a season of feel-goodism, where we think about soft snow and candlelight, with silver bells in the distance.

“Remember Ramah weeping for her children, remember our abortion mills, remember how dark this world is without Christ, and then cling in faith to the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Mary’s only Savior is our only hope for salvation as well.”

In the days ahead, the streets and churches of Newtown will echo with the lamenting sounds of parents weeping for their children. At least 20 funerals will include 20 tiny caskets too small to comprehend.

But Christmas will still come, and its message will be especially for those who grieve. Indeed, its message will come from a suffering servant, a man of sorrows, and one who is acquainted with grief. It will come from one who invites those sitting in darkness to feel their sorrow, but also to plead: “From depths of hell Thy people save, and give them victory o’er the grave.”

And just like the last Christmas, He will invite the grieving to hope in this promise: “Rejoice, Rejoice, Emmanuel shall come to thee O Israel.”

Scandal, Shame and Shock!

        Read this article on the Scandal, Shame and Shock of Mary "conceiving" Jesus.  It fits right along with what we learned at church this Sunday about how Mary was humble enough that her soul magnified the Lord even when she was in these seemingly horrible circumstances -- her soon to be husband was planning to divorce her and she could be possibly be punished by death.  I'm not a believer in focusing on any "hero" of the Bible that much, other than the main hero...but I must admit that I am impressed that Mary was so humble and trusting in such hard circumstances. (If only I could be more like her!) Also Joseph was trusting to stay with her, knowing that no one would believer her story. God had plans for good wonderful things for her and all mankind and she trusted.  But, mainly I am impressed with God, that his storyline doesn't come in neat little packages.  Isn't that wonderful news for us? God's will can be accomplished and will be accomplished - even in a manger to a teenage mother!  As the article says: our God is a God that gets involved and turns lives upside down!

(By the way this article is from a book about Christmas that should be given as a gift to nonbelievers.  I very much want to read it. I liked how this excerpt didn't use over the top "spriritual" words -- it broke it down in laymen's terms for believers and nonbelievers alike!)

    On another note, I am done with my holiday shopping except for one gift I need to pick up from Everyday Gourment this weekend.  Dave and I are delivering my friend gifts tonight (he is easy to bribe with promised of holiday coffee at starbucks!)  All gifts are wrapped except those that are in the mail and arriving soon.  Almost all of my holiday cards are addressed and they should be in the mail this weekend.  AND Dave is done for the semester..so after the past few weeks of working late, he is free to play almost every night!  I am so excited to be done with the busywork of Christmas so I can focus my evenings on the fun parts: looking at lights, Christmas movies, iceskating and parties. I feel like I haven't stopped for 3 weeks because I have been trying to get it done, but knowing I now have 10 days plus just to enjoy the season with Dave, family and friends is such a happy feeling!

FOR GOD'S LITTLE PEOPLE

This is the Dec 5 reading from Piper's Advent Devotional.  I loved this line:  "It is not our prosperity but our holiness that he seeks with all his heart. And to that end, he rules the whole world."  Here is his devo from last week, enjoy!

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus

that all the world should be registered. This was the first

registration when Quirinius was governor of Syria. And

all went to be registered, each to his own town. And Joseph

also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to

Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem,

because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be

registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child.

—Luke 2:1–5

     Have you ever thought what an amazing thing it is that God ordained beforehand that the Messiah be born in Bethlehem (as the prophecy in Micah 5 shows); and that he so ordained things that when the time came, the Messiah’s mother and legal father were living in Nazareth; and that in order to fulfill his word and bring two little people to Bethlehem that first Christmas, God put it in the heart of Caesar Augustus that all the Roman world should be enrolled each in his own town? Have you ever felt, like me, little and insignificant in a world of seven billion people, where all the news is of big politicaland economic and social movements and of outstanding people with lots of power and prestige? If you have, don’t let that make you disheartened or unhappy. For it is implicit in Scripture that all the mammoth political forces and all the giant industrial complexes, without their even knowing it, are being guided by God, not for their own sake but for the sake of God’s little people—the little Mary and the little Joseph who have to be got from Nazareth to Bethlehem. God wields an empire to bless his children. Do not think, because you experience adversity, that the hand of the Lord is shortened. It is not our prosperity but our holiness that he seeks with all his heart. And to that end, he rules the whole world. As Proverbs 21:1 says, “The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; he turns it wherever he will.”

   He is a big God for little people, and we have great cause to rejoice that, unbeknownst to them, all the kings and presidents and premiers and chancellors of the world follow the sovereign decrees of our Father in heaven, that we, the children, might be conformed to the image of his Son, Jesus Christ.

12 ways to Celebrate Christmas as a Single

I am starting a new 12 days of Christmas series: posts on Christmas (motivated of course by hearing the song on the radio yesterday).  I thought it would be a fun theme to carry out.  First topic: 12 ways to enjoy and celebrate Christmas a Single.

(1) Read an Advent Devotional or celebrate Advent in some way!

Celebrate Advent.  Spend time praying, waiting expectantly on the Lord and reading through an advent calendar.  I bought a small one on sale for 1.00 (one of those tiny paper checkbook sized devos) at Lifeway Christian bookstore.  I also bought "The Purpose Driven Christmas".  Here is John Piper's daily devo (I am a few days behind and need to catch up!)   Celebrate the coming of the Lord, both two centuries ago, in the future and daily in our lives! (IF IT DOESN'T DOWNLOAD, EMAIL ME AND I WILL EMAIL YOU THIS EBOOK BY PIPER)

(2) Get your shopping done early - and make it a fun day!

Shop early so you can spend your last couple weeks before Christmas going to parties, with family, watching movies, baking!  And make it fun -- meet another girl for shopping and post shopping drinks!  Make sure to stop for coffee during your shopping excursion! This is a recommendation for all women, not just single ladies!  Shopping usually starts out as fun for me but gets old quickly - make it a girls days and enjoy the small blessings while doing so like warm seasonal coffee, Christmas music and lights!  This year, I can't do this because of the 7 days a week working schedule, but I do really think that if you shop early and make it fun and not stressful, you can enjoy your holiday more! (PS, I am practically finished shopping, I just didn't get to make it a fun holiday event this year!  But atleast I am done early!)

(3) Go to parties

SERIOUSLY, this is the best part about being young and childless...I don't have to think about if I can go to a party this weekend or if I have to find a babysitter, go to a pre-k Christmas program, etc...I just want to go so I go!  Particularly if you are new in town or a little lonely, say yes to every single party you are invited to!  Enjoy celebrating, dressing up, meeting new people, possibly meeting new men!  I certainly don't think Christmas parties are the reason for the season....but if we are spending a month celebrating, they are a fun addition!

(4) Decorate!

It doesn't have to be over the top, but buy a couple decorations each year...a wreath, a garland, a few santas, a nativity scene, a small tree.  Like so many other things in life, I've heard some friends say I'll decorate when I get married.  Only one year did I not decorate and I felt so sad....the holiday is supposed to be enjoyed by all, even those who don't have families yet!

(5) Invest in a couple "holiday" outfits!

Seriously, part of growing up in a southern family meant appropriately themed outfits.  I can remember wearing Christmas dresses and shirts growing up and posing for holiday pictures in them.  As a mother, you are buying cute outfits for your children and maybe even a fun shirt or two for yourself.  As a single, you should buy a "holiday" outfit - to wear to parties, church, etc!  This year, I purchased a gold sequin skirt.  Last year I bought a black sparkly skirt and I have a few "dressier" tops for parties.  Just like when you are a kid or when you will one day dress your kids, its fun to have a reason to dress up.  And you can wear holiday attire without putting on a tacky sweater! (More importantly, holiday parties are  great place to meet people so you want to look nice and feel pretty!)

(6) Find others that are lonely and invest with them.

There are others you know who are feeling lonely - probably lonelier than you.  I very much support donating to charities during the holidays (or any time!) but I also think we are called to minister to those you know.  Do you know someone who is new in town who might want to be included in some holiday events or want to have dinner with you? Is a friend stressed as a new mom or going through a divorce? Could you bring over a bottle of wine and a holiday movie? Are there other singles who don't have family nearby?  Could you plan a sunday night dinner?  Focus on others, I know its cliche and it doesn't fix all your problems, but we are called to love others like Christ loves us and I think we benefit from caring well for others!

(7) Send out Christmas cards!

This is one of those things that I avoided for awhile, thinking I will get married and send out picture cards....with family pics on them!  But, the truth is, I am an adult now and I have friends and I should send them holiday cards.  I always feel like such a grownup when I mail out my cards...and since I don't have a family pic to place in the card, I always right a personal note to the reciever.  I am fortunate to have friends all over the country and world and love the idea of sending them holiday cheer.  Plus, people generally send cards to those that send them cards.  and I LOVE getting beautiful pictures of sweet babies and couples to put on my fridge!! It reminds me of all I do have!

(8) Take a night in.

The holiday season as a single is simultaneously hard and fun!  It is hard for obvious reasons but since you have the freedom to go to every Christms party you want to without hiring a babysitter, it can be a blast to be single during December....BUT it can also be exhausting. My favorite holiday night last year was my 3 roomies and me curling up for Christmas movies, homemade cookies and sushi!  Families (by financial necessity or by plan) take nights in to relax.  You should to!  Pick a couple nights where you watch movies, wear your sweats, drink cocoa and bake cookies.  Invite a boyfriend or girlfriends over - or do it by yourself! But, either way, give yourself a deserved night in!

(9) Take a moment to mourn, so that you can spend the rest of the time celebrating!

This is very important.  Don't lie to yourself and pretend that you are happy with all of your circumstances.  Take time, whether it be 15 minutes a night before bed or a hour before facing the family celebration, etc to feel your frustration, petition the Lord, and confess your lack of contentment. Spend time praying and in scripture. I think that if you admit that your holiday season or life in general is not exactly what you pictured for this stage in life, then you can move on and celebrate and enjoy the good parts.  I think a lot of well meaning folks try to convince singles or those that are hurting that they should not be so self focused and remember what Christmas is about, which is not about us! But, taking time to address your hurt allows you to focus on Christ's coming with a clear heart!

(10) Do a few "child-like" holiday activities.

Grab some friends and go see santa! Bake sugar cookies. Watch Charlie Brown Christmas!  What were traditions you liked as a child that you feel you can't do now? Forget your preconceived notions on whats a family activity or an adult activity and do what you like!  I decorated a gingerbread house this weekend!

(11) Celebrate with the family you do have....

You don't have a husband and kids yet.  You do (most likely) have a family. So life could be way worse.  Make sure to celebrate with them.  Enjoy seeing them over the holidays. Enjoy the blessing  of having people you love who love you!

(12) But feel free to start your own traditions and holiday plays as well!

Enjoy your family, but don't feel pressured to be with them 24-7.  I think a lot of leniancy is given to married couples about starting their own traditions.  But singles are often times expected to show up  (I don't say this from experiance because my parents are pretty supportive of us doing what we want to do, but I know its an issue for many!)  Just because you are single doesnt mean you have to show up at every single family event this season.  You may miss a party or two.  You have the freedom to start your own traditions too!

The Manger: Hope in the smallest places

Advent - a time to REMEMBER our Christian history! A time to remember that the greatest hope and the fulfillment of God's plan of salvation begin in a small stable!  I think its fitting that the Lord came in such a small subtle dirty way.  In a manger, there was hope and promise and faithfulness.  God was emmanuel ("God with us") in unpleasent circumstances -- and He continues to provide hope, salvation and comfort in unpleasent circumstances!


"Advent is concerned with that very connection between memory and hope which is so necessary to man. Advent’s intention is to awaken the most profound and basic emotional memory within us, namely, the memory of the God who became a child. This is a healing memory; it brings hope. The purpose of the Church’s year is continually to rehearse her great history of memories, to awaken the heart’s memory so that it can discern the star of hope...It is the beautiful task of Advent to awaken in all of us memories of goodness and thus to open doors of hope."

Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger,



"It seems, then", said Tirian..."that the Stable seen from within and the Stable seen from without are two different places."
"Yes," said the Lord Digory. "Its inside is bigger than its outside."
"Yes," said Queen Lucy. "In our world too, a Stable once had something inside it that was bigger than our whole world."


CS Lewis, The Last Battle

Advent and weekend...

ADVENT ENCOURAGEMENT...

"From the Christian point of view there is no special problem about Christmas in a prison cell. For many people in this building it will probably be a more sincere and genuine occasion than in places where nothing but the name is kept. That misery, suffering, poverty, loneliness, helplessness and guilt mean something quite different in the eyes of God from what they mean in the judgment of man, that God will approach where men turn away, that Christ was born in a stable because there was no room for him at the inn -- these are things that a prisoner can understand better than other people; for him they really are glad tidings, and that faith gives him a part in the communion of saints...

A prison cell, in which one waits, hopes, does various unessential things, and is completely dependent on the fact that the door of freedom has to be opened from the outside, is not a bad picture of Advent."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer   Additionally, this article on God's Wish List (by Andree Seu Patterson) this Christmas was convicting.  Also, the same author recently wrote about being thankful that God let her hunger.... in which she refers to Corrie Ten Boom's gratefulness for the fleas in her nazi barracks because the fleas kept the guards from checking on them and allowed them to worship freely, even in a nazi camp.  Who knows how God will use your hunger and waiting ??   "If you are in a season of hunger right now—whether for love, or marriage, or children, or friendship, or job fulfillment, or whatever it is people hunger for in this temporary wilderness we sojourn in—you might even try giving thanks today for the hunger, though it sounds radical. God is good all the time. He has purposes we do not foresee. Who would have conceived that the fleas in Barracks 28, though at first reluctantly listed in a litany of thanks by Corrie, would be the way God kept the prison guards away so that she and her sister and the other believers were free to gather around the Bible and worship?"  

THIS WEEKEND.....  
This weekend, my roomies and I hosted our annual Singing Christmas Tree party.  It was a smaller crowd than usual (partly because we did a lowkey version this year, party throwing can get exhausting!) But I loved having a smaller crowd because I was able to talk to most everyone I wanted to which isn't always the case!  I forgot to take any pictures, but I rocked a lovely gold sequin skirt and black sweater (dave does not like the skirt but I LOVE it! so festive!)   The next morning, my friend an I ran the Jingle Bell Jog 5k and had a lot of fun.  Then I headed to Natchez for a wedding with Dave. His cousin got married and have a gorgeous ceremony overlooking the Mississippi River and then a fun ceremony at an old antebellum building downtown.  Here are some pictures...

With Dave's sister Kim at the ceremony

With Dave in front of the MS River. I know I am biased, but he sure looks cute!

I LOVED the flower arrangements with Mississippi Cotton included in a very subtle way!



With sweet Melissa at the wedding...one of Dave's childhood pals and now one of mine too!

 Sunday Morning we had to go back pretty early since Dave had a project due this week and I had to work at Everyday Gourmet, but we didn't want to miss the first Sunday of Advent or a morning celebration of his mom's birthday, so I went to church in jeans so I could go straight to work (Dave's church is more casual so this is acceptable but I have never dressed down that much for church and was nervous about it so his sister was sweet and dressed down too...)  Here is the birthday celebration and Dave's family lighting the first candle of advent.....  

Why I LOVE Advent....

I love advent.  It may seem strange because advent seems to be a family oriented religious tradition. I can remember having a wreath at home and doing devotionals.  Now, I don't have my own wreath (although I should look into getting one!) but I do read advent devos throughout this season.  I LOVE advent almost as much as Christmas day and here is why.

(1) Advent focuses on our Lord. First and foremost, no matter what is wrong in your life, you have the opportunity to spend this month focusing on the Savior's first coming and His second coming.  If that's all we ever have, that is enough.

(2) Advent gives HOPE in God's provision, plan and timing. Advent reminds us that the Lord provides for His people -- spiritually and otherwise.  It reminds us that the Lord's perfect plans don't always come in expected ways (hello, the KING was born in a manger to a young girl who its likely many judged for her pregnancy).  It reminds us that the Lord's timing is perfect as well.  God's people waited for years for Jesus' arrival.  I am sure their waiting seemed painful and frustrating, but the Lord had perfect timing, just like He does in our lives.

(3) Advent reminds us that the Savior LOVES us and can RELATE.  Spending this holiday alone?  Going through a divorce? Just moved away from all your friends and family to the mission field?  Waiting on a child? Sick or watching someone you love suffer with an illness? DO you feel no one understands and gets it? Advent is a reminder that our Savior doesn't just save us, He understands us.  He loved us so much that He not only died a painful death, but left perfection to come live in our broken world for 33 years.  So when your heart aches because this year has been rough, when you struggle to celebrate the season because of your circumstances, your Savior understands earthly pain, loss and rejection and can relate.  You Savior loves you so much that He came down and lived in this painful world so that you wouldn't have to always live in brokeness. Emmanuel is "GOD WITH US"! That fact alone should encourage you to celebrate His birth even in rough circumstance...because His birth means that you are not alone in your pain.

(4) Advent turns waiting into anticipation.  I LOVE this aspect of Advent.  Most people are waiting for something in their lives.  Dave and I spoke of this yesterday, how he is waiting for school to be done.  People are waiting for healing, marriages, jobs, children, etc.  Waiting isn't an easy thing to do.  It sometimes feels like a prolonged NO.  In fact, sometimes I think a NO is easier because you accept God's answer, mourn the situation and move on to live a full life.....but waiting is sometimes painful and discouraging.  BUT, during advent, we are taught that waiting can be a time of anticipation.  It becomes a mixture of longing and belief that God is working!  Instead of waiting being just an in between period of time from the time a need is realized to the time it is met, waiting becomes a time of preparation, JOYFUL anticipation and purpose.  I fail to apply this view (waiting as anticipation) all year long and I'm trying to do that more, but Advent has helped me see that God uses the waiting.

(5) Advent reminds us that we are not HOME yet.  Advent isn't just a reminder of Jesus' first coming; it is a reminder that He will come again!  The pain and waiting and broken heartedness that either you are feeling or you are witnessing in someone else this Christmas season will one day be gone.   As the author of the Jesus Storybook Bible says, "Every sad thing willl come untrue!" We are waiting for all sorts of things, but ultimately we are waiting to be with the Lord in Paradise!

(6) Advent reminds us that God is faithful (to us although we are undeserving!) and He will be faithful again!  He came the first time and He will come back for us.  We are fortunate to live after Christ's birth and death because we have already witnessed that God is faithful to come for His people.  We can look at that and trust that He is coming again!  We can also look to His first coming and know that He will be faithful to us in all circumstances!

(7) Advent takes our daily waiting (for trivial things, for big things) and makes it something much more important.  Now, your longing and waiting for a child, spouse, job can be much more.  It can be waiting in an earthly sense, but can point you to the reality that whether you know it or not, what you are really waiting for is to go home to be with your Savior to an unbroken world.  I have learned, through advent and life in general, that the hidden blessing of waiting is that those who wait tend to have a greater longing for heaven, a greater realization that this sinful broken world is not our home.  One of the main ways God uses our earthly waiting is to remind us of what we should be waiting for (most of all!)!!

I love advent and am so excited that it is here.  My prayer is that it points my heart to focus on Christ, His love and grace and the hope (both earthly and eternal) that his hope brings....even in the waiting!  Bear with me as I will have several advent posts over the next several weeks. 

verses

So I have narrowed down my 2012 life verses to 3 good choices:

1. "The Lord will do great things for me, and I will be filled with joy. I will sow in tears then I will reap with songs of joy."Psalms 126:3,5


2. "For Nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

3.  "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I am leaning to number 2 & 3  - (a) it was between 2 & 3 until yesterday when a friend shared verse 1 with me.  (b) I love verse 1 and the reason I love it is because it sums up the past several years of my life -- and although I am sure I many many more sorrowful times ahead of me, I am not currently sowing tears.  I have plenty of frustrations, hardships, moments where I feel God is silent, but not deep deep sorrow as so many others are experiancing. I have seen the Lord bring Joy from bad situations and although this verse touches my heart so much, I want one that sums my life up now..

Verse #2 really hit home when studying advent.  There are so many times that I believe God is not in control over every circumstance. I pray for myself and for others, but I don't really believe God could or would step in to the circumstances.  I had a friend who was supposed to lose a baby this year and it is literally a miracle that she is still pregnant, but she knew all along that she would be. I must admit that my prayers for her were a little less hopeful, I expected the worst.  Why don't I go through life expecting the best from God, even if the best ends up not being what I thought it would be?  I hate to think how many prayers for those who are sick or dying or struggling with sin I have prayed with doubt?

Verse #3 - I heard a sermon by Tim Keller talking about how important this verse is, because it doesn't say that a man planning his course is wrong (I always read it that way). The verse just points out that when making decisions, we make an effort to do things (go to gym, sign up for college, go to church, apply for a job) and we are responsible to take steps towards our goals, but at the end of the day, God is soverign...so yes, we have responsibility to live decisively and consciously, BUT no one bad decision can destroy God's plans, He is over them all. That hit home for me. I always wonder if I chose the wrong city to live in or the wrong church to go to or the wrong career.  What if ending things with that boy was a mistake? or not taking this career path was wrong? Yes, I need to make good decisions, but at the end of the day, God is in control....what a comfort.

So, as I said, most likely between 2 and 3, any votes? Whats your 2012 life verse?

A few holiday notes.....

(1) Nothing is impossible with God  --- the author points out that this is a Christmas verse we often forget. Our salvation, Our sanctification, His provision, Healing, Forgiveness -- none of it is impossible with God.


(2) Also, isn't Jack so stinking cute? and so fat! LOVE those chunky legs.

(3) Also, if you are down this season (or even if you aren't), watch this video -- even in the midst of incredible trial, this family celebrated Christmas one last time

(4) Also, I am Christmas Party'd out. I had a bar association Christmas party last night and one last one tonight then home to Brookhaven for our annual game night/holiday get together with two other families and Christmas Eve/Christmas with our family. Its the first one with Jack so we are so excited, probably a LOT more excited than he is! 

With Christmas parties, I remind myself that this is a season. I love parties and after a few weeks recovering, I am going to miss the excitement! But towards the end of a long 4-5 wks, I am ready to spend a few nights on the couch in my pajamas!

(5) Here is the second post of the series I posted yesterday.

" Trying to bracket all we think we know about the coming of Jesus Christ, all that we have come to expect and demand, may very well help to open our eyes to the signs that Christmas has to offer. Might we have the courage to pray, really pray, that God with us might shatter our ideas and preconceptions, leaving us dazzled and more than a bit crazed? Do we have the hope to stand in the shattered ruins of our limitations? Can we pray that we might—beyond limits of what is possible for us—see the signs of Christmas, to really see them, as opportunities to notice what we may otherwise overlook, to hold what we otherwise would not touch, to love what we otherwise could not embrace? Might we not, in this way, begin to truly welcome God with us?"

A God who never comes and God's "Favor"

Check out this post on waiting for  a God who never comes.  I am excited for the author to post parts 2 and 3 of this series.

Actually read all of the guy's Advent posts. Wonderful.

And this article challenged me a lot.....Mary was favored by God, but I bet being asked to have a child out of wedlock (or so others would believe) and facing the possibility of losing her fiance and her reputation PROBABLY DIDN'T SEEM LIKE FAVOR to Mary. But she had faith because she considered God faithful! So should we!

Love, Circumstances and Worship

**for those of you sick of all my links to Advent articles, don't worry, I will have to actually write stuff starting on the 26th, rather than just linking up to better written articles.  But, I can't help posting so much about advent. The more I study it, the move I love that God gives us these 4 focuses as we WAIT for HIM: hope, peace, joy, and finally love.

This final week of advent is the week of love. Essentially it all leads up to this-- the longing, the anticipation, the peace, the joy --- it all points us to the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

If we never had anything else, if no one else loved us, that single act would be enough.  If I never get married, If I never rock my own babies, If I do get married and my husband leaves me or my boyfriend breaks up with me, If my kids rebel, If friends leave me, If family doesn't understand or abandons, that is enough. Although it doesn't feel like enough sometimes, the fact remains that Christ's first advent and his future advent is the best act of love I will ever know and the main love that matters.  Not to say the others aren't good, but it is good to remember which love is essential.

My heart aches for so many this season. I know people who have had parents divorce or they have divorced. I know families who have lost children. I certainly have plenty of friends waiting for husbands or babies. While Christmas has been mostly joyfully this year (thankfully), I have known my share of Christmases that felt empty in some shape or form.  I'm sure we have all felt that way -- grumpy kids, family who couldn't make it, single, lost a family member -- whatever life threw at us this year made it hard to focus on how much we were loved by a Savior that became man.

I know how hard it can be to remember the God who loves us and should be worship when the circumstances are tough so that is why I loved this article on Christmas Perspectives.

In this article, the author talks about her aunt who was sick yet still showed up to holidays and her uncle's sorrow the year she was gone. She also talks about her own Christmases not going as expected.

An excerpt:

I remember the difficulty of lining up my expectations with what God was actually doing, and thinking, “This isn’t good, God. How did You allow this to happen?” And it took a couple of years, I can remember, of having Christmases that were good, they were ... good, but they were tough, too, where I would tear up and then put my make-up back on and go out and be with people, because it wasn’t exactly what I expected.
I could have sat down and said, “I don’t like this, God, and I’m not going to celebrate You, which is really an awful thought of self-pity—on Christmas day? That’s ridiculous!” Or I could say, “Why has God allowed this opportunity issue in my life? Could it be to turn my focus outward?”
I had never realized how many other people were in the same situation on Christmas day. There were plenty of people who found themselves alone for whatever reason, and it gave me an opportunity to think through, “What could God want with this, what could He be directing my gaze to?”


If God is love (as we know He is), then every circumstances is lovingly allowed by Him and can point us to Him. That is most important to realize this holiday season.  What we were waiting for was His coming and saving us, and Christmas, particular this week, is a focus on that act of love coming to fruition...in its first stages. Also it challenged me to love on others who are hurting just as Christ loved me....because He was born, died, resurrected and sees me through each day- good and bad, then I am able to love others. In the interview she linked in her article, the author discusses using her hard Christmases to remind her to reach out to others (by throwing a Christmas brunch)

Loving others who are hurting and not just thinking of our own pain, now there's an amazing thought. Although I have reached out to some this season, not nearly enough....I will be thinking through the year, How can I focus on God's love and not my circumstances during advent? And how can I love others as well?

Advent: improper waiting

Love this post on how to wait during advent. I will for sure be reading that blog from now on. I love the portion of her post that talks about waiting improperly...My main struggle is waiting hopelessly -- believing that God won't provide, won't sustain, and won't be faithful.  I think we often times think He can't be trusted with our hearts, heartache, longings, prayers- but in truth, He is the only person that can be trusted.

As advent comes to its final week, I want to focus my attention just on waiting for Christ. The entire season reminds us to wait not only on Him, not only His return, but also His faithfulness in present times, but as Christmas day nears, I want to focus on how amazing it is that He came once and will come again --- that all that waiting by His people must have been discouraging, but then He came (quietly, with no big ordeal made) -- and while we wait, in pain, angst, SIN, He will come again. Let us wait on Him, and say "Come, Lord Jesus."

I wait impatiently, because the waiting is really only about obtaining my desire, so naturally I am angry and irritated when it does not happen.

I wait dishonestly, because in order to be angry and irritated about the desire not manifesting, I have to consciously ignore all the amazing blessings, undeserved kindness, and incredible favor the Lord has showered over me in the past year.


I wait with shriveled faith, because my God has become dependent on the gifts he gives, not on the fact that He is the great giver worth pursuing over any thing I could possibly receive.

I wait with shriveled trust, because I put more stock in my own logic and human projections that say, “Look at the facts, Dan. It ain’t gonna happen,” instead of a God that is above science, above circumstances, and loves me more than I could possibly fathom.

I wait hopelessly, for I start to convince myself that though God can do anything for me, he doesn’t want to do anything for me; like he is a stingy, car salesman father who takes some sick satisfaction in withholding.

And I wait selfishly, because when the heartbreaking reality of my own waiting dominates every thought this Christmas season, it automatically means that it’s ME that dominates every thought this Christmas season, not others around me who may be hurting and in need of care and comfort during this difficult time of year.

This year, I want Advent to teach me what it really means to wait humbly for the coming of the Lord. To celebrate His Kingdom come. To get beyond the toys and trappings and twinkling ornamentation that will be piled up at a garage sale five years from now. I want to wait patiently, rightly, boldly; with faith, hope, and eyes wide open to see those who suffer. This Christmas, I want to fall to my knees in trembling anticipation of meeting in the bruised, bare, and bleeding core of my heart the Son of God, Jesus Christ. He who was born in a manger, who lived a perfect life, who served the lost and broken and outcast, he who came to save the world.

Santa and Joy

First of all, even if you aren't a fan of santa, aren't you a fan of this little guy? So stinking cute!



Secondly, feel free to give yourself permission to have Joy this holiday season.

Also, check out this advent guide  my friend Alexandria sent me from Village Church in Dallas. I have no idea how she got ahold of it but its great. Its a family weekly guide for 5 weeks but I read through half of it last night and its great. I love that churches, even non traditional churches, are celebrating advent....and encouraging families to do so. I plan on celebrating advent with my family one day.

Finally, this doesn't have tons to do with the JOY week of advent, but a friend of mine read this quote (while celebrating advent) and shared it with me. I love it:

"When we demand satisfaction of one another, when we demand any completion to history on our terms, when we demand that our anxiety or any dissatisfaction be taken away, saying as it were, 'Why weren't you this for me? Why didn't life do that for me?' we are refusing to say 'Come, Lord Jesus.' We are refusing to hold out for the full picture that is always given by God."

-Richard Rohr
 
I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday/weekend. I plan on taking a break from being outgoing and doing some of the Christmas activities I have yet to do because of parties and work -- wrap presents, make holiday candy, mail cards....all while watching a Christmas movie! 

The Pink Candle: Be Joyful

I loved this article on God's gift of Joy during advent....Here is an excerpt:

 Advent is a time in which we must make ourselves open to being humbled, to feeling our own limits. Three purple candles: three Sundays, one still to come, of serious humbling, of waiting.



But this is the interesting thing: God knows this is difficult.  He knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. And so, we celebrate the third Sunday—the “joyful” Sunday—with a pink, celebratory candle.......I think of this as God’s way of reminding us that we are not just slogging through a miserable existence because he asks us to. He wishes us to find joy here, now, as a taste of what we can expect—as a reminder of what we’re waiting for.


This is the beauty of the rose candle. It is a beauty that reminds us that even when we are to be repenting, even when we must feel the limitations of our humanity, there is something bigger under us, holding us up, holding all things together. I’ve come to believe that we can only experience joy—we can only smile, and celebrate—when we know that the good things are a gift from the one who sees the bad and still tells us, rest, delight, be joyful.



He wishes us to find Joy now.  We wait for Joy and rightfully so, because nothing in this earth will ever make us fully contended. We long for His return, and even daily we long for our circumstances to change. We long for healing or the return of loved ones. But, the pink candle reminds us that there is JOY to be had now, there is living in the waiting.  So while we spend this season reflecting, hoping, praying, repenting, longing, Let us also spend it enjoying all the many blessings the Lord has given us!

Advent: Fighting for Joy

This weeek on advent focuses on JOY (the pink candle) which I know can be a hard thing for a lot of people this time of year. Although my Christmas season is mostly full of blessings, I have even had a a few down moments....

So, how do we hold on to Joy - when the world seems to be falling apart? (I feel totally unqualified to answer this question since I know my dissapointments, my bad days deal with work and relationships and family -- not death or sickness or divorce. In no way do I want to sound condescending.."Just have Joy."..but I do know that there are some things we can do to have Joy....at Christmas and other times of the year.

1. Count your blessings

I try to remind myself daily of my blessings. (Today my blessing is that my Jack Attack is coming to MS today for the holidays, love that baby boy!) The truth is as we count our blessings, we can see that our lives - though painful they may be - aren't empty of all goodness.  I've come to find that some of my toughest years are sprinkled with some of my favorite moments, memories, blessings. Rarely is life all good or all bad.

2. Remember God's past faithfulness.

The Lord has been faithful and He will be again. How quickly we forget His provision.  Focusing on what He has done reminds us that He can and will do good things in our lives, in our circumstances.

3. Rely on His timing.

Psalm 30 tells us that weeping may last for a night, but Joy comes in the morning.  We fight for joy during hard times, but at a certain point in time, we see His faithfulness and provision and Joy comes.  Don't give up too quickly. He makes all things beautiful in His time.

4. Take a time out.

Especially in the holidays, take a moment away if you need to. Skip a party and take time to pray, read scripture, sleep, cry, etc. I think we get so busy trying to be happy or trying to survive, that we forget to take a moment and grieve what we need to grieve and run to the arms of our Savior. Joy doesn't require happiness at every moment and Joy certainly isn't something you achieve on your own, so run to Christ, tell him your hurts, admit your struggle for Joy.  There is no better person to be honest with about your heartache. There is no better person to seek Joy from. When I lack Joy the most is when I feel I have to try to appear happy the most.  Instead, be honest that life hurts and ask for Joy DESPITE those circumstances (rather than Joy pretending those circumstances don't exist)

5. Praise and Worship

Count your blessings, remember Christ's faithfulness - and praise Him.  Worship quickly reminds us the Lord is in charge, He has done good things for us, and He is worthy to be praised.

6. Focus on others.

Concern for others helps take our focus off ourselves.

7. Ask. and ask some more.

The Bible verse famously says we should ask and it will be given to us, seek and we will find, knock and the door will be opened...notice how after asking, the person didn't give up? He increased his requests with more intensity -- he asked, then he sought, then he knocked.  Struggling with Joy? ask the Lord and don't quit asking.

8. Think on what is lovely.

I already mentioned counting blessings and remembering God's provision, but thinking on what's lovely includes a happy Christmas movie or song, remembering a funny joke from lunch, an inspirational quote, and encouraging word.  Think on things that make you happy -- happiness may not equal Joy, but remembering good things in your live helps cultivate a Joyful spirit.

9. Remember, its just one holiday & 10. The gospel remains true despite our circumstances.

It may not be the best holiday season or the best year. Your life story may not be a hallmark movie this year....but not every year will be this hard, not every holiday will be this hard.  Also, praise God that the gospel remains true whether we feel Joy or not. You may struggle to praise and worship Him for His birth this season, but it makes His birth, life, death and resurrection no less significant.  In fact, when we struggle the most to appreciate the significance of Christmas is when we need it the most.

My heart breaks for those suffering this holiday season. I remember my first Christmas after my wedding was called off. I remember my sweet family trying to make it a huge ordeal and being incredibly cheerful and having champagne and bending over backwards...and you know what? it still sucked..nothing was going to make it great (although there were good moments) No doubt about it, the worst Christmas of my life (thus far).  At some moments that holiday season, I fought for Joy -- tried to enjoy the holidays despite my circumstances, tried to laugh and do the "things" I had always done. (first round of law school finals didn't help me fight for Joy though haha) and sometimes I just gave in and was grumpy and ungrateful.  But, I know this to be true: Christmas meant something different to me than ever before. I had never felt alone on the holidays (although I truthfully wasn't alone), I had never felt so hurt and I had never before struggled to celebrate Christ's birth ...YET that was the year that his birth meant the most to me.  I didn't quit hurting, but I was aware that I had a Savior who gave up a throne to come to a sinful hurtful world and die so that I did not have to hurt for eternity.  If nothing else gives you Joy this holiday season, let that give you Joy, let that reality hit home....this pain is not forever...because there was a first Christmas, this lonely or hard Christmas is not forever...weeping may last for the night, but Joy really will come in the morning.

Practice what you preach

So far, I have been sharing about advent from the perspective of I learned about advent last year...and even from the perspective of I am learning these things this year, but so far its been pretty easy to practice what I preach. So I am haven't been speaking from the trenches, from the battlefields of holiday dissapointment and fighting for joy. So far having joy and hope this season has been immensely easy.

But this past weekend was discouraging for several reasons (mostly the fact that I was exhausted)...and unlike my previous advent posts, yesterday's post wasn't directed at encouraging others, it was directed at encouraging me. I needed the reminder that Immanuel means God is with me and is concerned about me and the small details of my life. I needed the reminder that hope is not silly. I needed the reminder that when exhausted or dissapointed or confused, Christ is right there with me.  That fact alone gives me hope.

Last night I was praying before bed and realized this is where the rubber hits the road, where I practice what I preach....Do I believe that the Lord is with me when the holiday seems overwhelming with parties, little sleep, letdowns, irritations with friends, disspointments in dating? Do I believe the Lord is soverign when things don't seem perfect?  Do I still believe the Lord can be trusted and we can have hope even when the holiday season, a relationship, a friendship, family, job,  circumstances, etc have let me down?

We weren't meant to have Hope and Peace when then things are perfect, Hope and Peace (during advent and year-round) are meant to sustain us when things aren't perfect.

I'm willing to bet I am not the only person feeling let down by the holiday season..there are those feeling overwhelmed by shopping, dreading family time, annoyed by shopping with a screaming 2 year old, feeling alone in a new town, dealing with sick family member, longing for a baby, etc.  But, at this time, more than ever, we are supposed to hope...when the world laughs at us for doing so, for believing that circumstances get better or atleast will be redeemed, for believing in healing and provision, for believing that waiting on God is a good thing.  It's okay, we know the ending....we know that He is coming, both in the present and in the future.

Immanuel (God with us) and what it means now

Feeling a bit discouraged this holiday season? (or anytime of the year?) Check out this article on Immanuel

I read it last year and I read it throughout the year but especially at Christmas on moments when I forget how much the Lord must love us to send his son.  Our Lord knows suffering and he is there with us in our suffering.  I tend to focus on Christ's second advent and how it affects me eternally --- Christ's return will usher in an eternity with Him.  But, I should also focus on how Christ's first advent affects me in the here and now.  How while we live on this earth, suffering fear, abandonment, grief, anger, heartache, we have a Savior who understands.... and hurts with us...because He was one of us....

an excerpt from that article....

"We can begin to assume that God isn’t interested in the light and momentary affliction we face.  We tell ourselves that He is not the kind of God that would be concerned with the details of our suffering.

And we would be wrong.

Jesus – in whom the fullness of God is pleased to dwell – wrapped Himself in skin and suffered like me and you so that in our worst pain and moments of suffering we would know the truth.  God doesn’t scoff at the smallness of our pain.  God meets us in the intimate details of our pain.  God is with us even in the smallest hurts.

In our deepest pain, lies creep in and lead us to turn away from the only source of comfort.  We listen to the whisper that God does not understand the pain of abandonment or rejection; that He is frustrated with our pathetic inability to trust in the bigger picture;  God can’t possibly know what it feels like to be tempted to doubt His goodness in lonely nights or when tragedy strikes.

And Christmas is the evidence that these whispers are lies.  Christmas is the great glowing ebeneezer that reminds us we don’t have a God who wants us to just ‘get over it’.  We have a God who understands how rough this world can be because He lived it.

We have a God who came down and suffered with us.  Our God is the only being who never had to suffer; He’s the only person who never had to experience any pain, and yet He willingly endured the most horrific pain imaginable.  Why? So that in the moments when we are most tempted to despair in the face of our suffering we can go to Him, messy and broken and confident that He can help.

We have a high priest who understands because He too has endured suffering.  He knows about lonely painful nights.  He knows about losing loved ones.  He knows about being rejected and abandoned and forsaken.  He knows about the moments when you look around and everything seems to be going wrong.  He knows about faces flung heavenward, begging for another way.  He knows about the weight of suffering.  Look to the Cross; He knows."

Or as CS Lewis said in the Chronicles of Narnia:

"But please, please - won't you - can't you give me something that will cure Mother?"

Up till then he had been looking at the Lion's great feet and the huge claws on them; now, in his despair, he looked up at its face. What he saw surprised him as much as anything in his whole life. For the tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion's eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory's own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his Mother than he was himself. 

SO, while struggling, while hurting, while striving to get through each day,remember Christ's birth and what it means both eternally and in the present.  We will suffer, we will hurt, but as we do, He not only understands, He hurts with us. 

How Advent Saved Christmas and Mistletoga

READ ABOUT How advent saved Christmas

And, since I have been SO SERIOUS lately, sharing only articles and thoughts on advent, I wanted to share a couple pictures from last year's mistletoga...its one of MY FAVORITE parties of the year and its tonight!  I am lazy so I am wearing the same toga this year, just editing it a little bit :)

Christmas is about Christ, first and foremost, and I don't like how commercial it is, but I do think that celebrating good times with friends and family is a must. I am grateful for the men and women (especially my amazing girl friends!) that the Lord has blessed me with here in Jackson. They make life more fun and they hold me accountable.

So Happy Friday All, wish everyone was in town to come to Mistletoga.