10 years ago #3

I graduated 10 years ago, give or take a few days.  This fact depressed me -- until I realized that I love being 28 way more than I liked being 18.

Tonight, my baby sis graduates, I am hoping that she will grow a lot in the next ten years, during ups and downs.  I know her life won't look identical to the plan she had at 18 because very few people have it work out the way they want, but I hope her life turns out better.

I would never want to go through some of my challenges over the past decade, BUT there are also so many memories I would relive over and over again, particularly in the past 3 years.
My life doesn't look like I thought it would 10 years ago.  For one thing, I thought I would be living in DC, probably married, working on the Hill or something similar, definitely not living in MS.  In fact, I distinctly remember listening to "I'm moving on" by Rascal Flats on graduation night.  Instead, I moved to Jackson after graduation temporarilly (and fell in love with it), work in my hometown, am single, and not working on the Hill or in public policy.

I certainly haven't loved every moment of the past 10 years.  In fact, a lot of moments have been REALLY hard, but I do think I can look back and be proud. I've gotten a lot done and survived a lot in the past ten years.  And, most days, I am pretty satisfied. I have loved the past 3 years in Jackson.

Here's a look back at what has happened in the past 10 years.

I went to 2 colleges and law school. I graduated with honors from both. I wrote an Honors Thesis and was involved in a sorority, student govt and other clubs. I made some amazing friends.

Dinner after my Honors Thesis Ceremony at Auburn

College Friends

Mom, Me, and Marley at Charity Ball when I was a Maid

ADPi formal at 755 club, 2005 with Alexandria

2005 Rush, in front of ole Berta Dunn Hall. With Ashley.

Jewel Degree Ceremony. Adpi.

Law School graduation with Nana and Papa

The only place I wanted my picture taken was on the field.

I spent 3 summers interning in DC and 2 summers working at Kanakuk Kamps in Missouri. I also interned for a judge in Alabama and spent a summer at L'abri Fellowship outside of Boston.

Cabin 12 at kanakuk, 2003

I fell in love for the first time.  I got engaged.  It got called off.  I applied last minute (last minute as in, I had 2 days before the deadline) for law school (with my roomate sitting at my desk saying "don't let him take this from you, get that application in today!) I took time to recover for a couple years (and get a law degree) and I finally began dating again.

First day of law school, my parents gave me "bar wear" since I was going to be studying for 3 years to be a member of the BAR (cheesy, i know)

Celebrating my first A in law school, Christmas Eve 2006

I sold my engagement ring and backpacked europe for 5 weeks.

Paris, Summer 2007

I stood as maid of honor at my younger sister's wedding and bridesmaids at several other weddings.

Sister's wedding, fall 2007

Mallory's wedding, Fall 2007

Mary Kendall's wedding, fall 2011

Callie's Wedding, Summer 2007

Ashley's wedding, Spring 2012

I've seen 2 undefeated Auburn seasons, several bowl games, Auburn's 6th straight ironbowl win and a National Championship.

National Champs  Jan. 10, 2011

6 Iron bowl wins in a row, Fall 2007

I was at 2 back to back Ole Miss Cotton Bowl wins and saw an unbelievable win over LSU a few years ago. (gotta love Miles and his clock management, er, i mean mismanagement!)

Cotton Bowl

Fall 2010 in the grove with Ansley and Mom

Fall 2010 at the Egg Bowl

Fall 2009- all the siblings

I became an Aunt.

Christmas 2011

I ran a half marathon and did the Warrior Dash.

Spring 2012, Warrior Dash with my roomie

In 10 years, I went to Belize, Europe twice (backpacking and to see my friend Ann Kirk) and went to Africa. All in All, I have now seen 15 countries other than the US (although I had seen mexico and canada prior to 18) I also got trapped in Prague due to a Volcano!

Spring 2009, Safari in Zambia

holding baby Ruthie at the Crisis Nursury in Malawi

Prague with Ann Kirk in Spring 2010 (during the Volvano!)

I moved (unexpectedly) to Jackson and made amazing friends, probably some of the best I have ever had.

I have also heard 3 justices speak, worked for Reagan's attorney general at the Heritage Foundation in DC, saw Reagan lie in state, attended a presidential debate, and had behind the scenes tours of the West Wing and the Pentagon.

I've been to Court. I've bought a car. I have TONS of student loans to pay off (though, thankfully a lot less than other people, I am fortunate). I've moved countless times. I've made big girl purchases like a big screen TV (for football duh) and furniture.  I've learned to do my taxes and am still learning to budget. I cook a lot better than I used to and I actually enjoy it.

I grew in my relationship with the Lord in tremendous ways.... this took many tears, lots of lonely nights and sometimes even doubt and anger, but I now know its true that those who have been through a lot have a sweeter trust. It takes time and pain sometimes to help us know that the Lord is faithful in all circumstances.  I'm still growing but hope that as each trial comes up, I have a renewed sense of assurance that the Lord will walk me, my family, my friends, etc.

I grew as a person.  I am a different person than I was at 18. I know that most people are different, but I feel drastically different. My beliefs are still the same, but I think as I've walked through life, I've become a little more relaxed and hopefully more dispensing of grace.  I was so uptight, so expectant of life to go as planned, and such a rule follower.  I think I've learned that situations are more complicated than one first thinks and that you can't always have such hard a fast rules on how things should go.  I am still a planner and still pretty black and white, but some gray has crept in now.

10 years ago #2

The other day, I wrote a list of advice for graduating seniors about college and their twenties, but I left an important piece of advice out.

#13 College/Grad School/ Med school/ etc may not be for you.

I am sure a lot of parents would disagree with me, but truthfully, college isn't for everyone.  I think it is for most successful people, I think it gives you some good basics, but its not for everyone. I dated a very smart guy who had attended a top high school then quit college during his freshman year. He owned a successful business.  So, maybe you go that route.  Maybe you will own a business or be a tradesman or work in missions.  Maybe you will do something for a few years then go to college. Maybe you will raise babies.

There are good reasons not to go to college. But, there is one reason that isn't a good excuse: laziness.   If you don't go to college, don't let it be because you are lazy and don't want to work.  If you decide to go straight into opening up your own business or getting training in a trade or as a hair stylist, work just as hard.  If you raise babies, goodness knows, thats hard work.  Don't not go to college to stay at home, rent free, working part time and watching tv.  Whatever you do, whether its the traditional path or the nontraditional path, do it well.

I feel I needed to add that because I made it sound like college was the only way.  True, college is the path for a lot, and in some areas, for most people...but its not the path for everyone. It doesn't make those who take the less traditional path any less hardworking and important. (in some cases, they will have to work harder)

10 years ago #1

In one week, it will be 10 years since I graduated from high school. (Gross, I'm OLD) and I want to acknowledge that with a couple posts on these past ten years.  I got the idea from Tiffany.

Here is what I would tell kids graduating:

1. College is not the BEST time of your life. 

For most, it is way better than high school....this is true. But, I think a lot of us go into it thinking its going to be interesting classes, parties, sorority functions, dates, meeting mr/mrs right, exciting road trips.  And, it may be all of those things, but it also includes learning to budget -- which may mean a few months where you get down to the last week and have apples and ramon noodles to eat.  It includes friend drama and cliques (did we really think that one year removed from high school, cliques would end? now we just have organized cliques called sororities! note: I was in a sorority so I can say this!) It's a time of life where a lot of people fall in love for the first time and a lot of people have their heart broken for the first time too. It's rejection from clubs, honors, internships.

Don't get me wrong, College is wonderful, BUT it wasn't the best time of my life.

2. However, the best days are ahead of you.

Sure, college may not be those days, but you have your twenties, your newlywed days, your mommy or daddy days, career days, retirement days.  Good exciting days are ahead.  I, for one, have LOVED these past 3 years since law school graduation. Mid twenties have been good to me. So, while college may not be the best days of your life --- its also unlikely that high school was your climax.

3. Find a niche.

As I said, there are still cliques in college.  There is still snottiness and exclusion. BUT there are TONS more people. And so many different groups to get involved in. What I loved about college was the variety of my friends...different types of people.  It is more accepted to be yourself in college. You have more freedom not to fit into a mold.  So, if you like somethng offbeat like tapdancing or stamp collecting, find a group! (This may not be the same at small colleges, I don't know. I base this off my experiance at a big university)

4. Make new friends, but keep the old (or rather a few of the old)

Unless you grew up in a small town and had a class of 30 that went to grade school, jr high and high school together, you will likely not stay close to that many people in your graduating class.  A lot of those people were friends of conveniance. Y'all grew up together, studied together, played soccer together.  However, you probably actually really clicked with a few people.  Fight to keep those few valuable friendships and don't fret too much if some of the other friendships become less important.  Some friendships are lifelong and some are for a certain time (companionship, entertainment, etc)  Both types are necessary.  Also, if you spend every weekend going home or travelling to see friends at their schools, you will miss out on the great people you are meeting.  SAME thing applies to graduation from college -- I have 3 good friends from college I talk to a lot and a handful of friends that I keep up with some, but some friendships were just meant for that time in life.

5. Workout. Eat Healthy

No one wants to come home Christmas FAT.  but someone will. don't let it be you. The time to begin healthy living is in college and your twenties.

6. Be prepared for struggle. and heartbreak. and pain.

You may have been prom queen, debate team captain, head cheerleader and the star point guard.  SO WHAT, everyone else in college was likely successful in high school too.  You will sometimes not win the award, make the cut or receive the internship. BUT, you are smart, so sometimes you will. Be prepared for a little dissapointment along the way.  This is especially true when you leave college.  People rarely get the job they want right off the bat.

Also, you will be excluded. You will have breakups and broken hearts and hard classes and tough bosses. You may be broke. And, in college and your twenties, you will learn to deal with this on your own.

7. BALANCE

College and your twenties are about way more than school and work, BUT those things are important.  It takes time to learn balance.  Even now, the occasional late monday night at karaoke is worth being tired at work, but not every monday.  Its wise to get your work done before the fun stuff, but if in college, you want to travel for an away game, thats fine, just be prepared to pull an all nighter sunday night to study for your test.

8. Be all in. Don't be looking so far ahead that you miss this stage of life.

Wear your school colors. Go to the big game. Get involved. Get everything you can out of this phase of life. Don't be so concerned about the future that you miss out on the things that are exclusively a part of college life.

Same goes for post grad, be broke and rock it.  Proudly wear your old navy clearance dress.  Learn to do wine nights in.  Eat cheaply so you and your girls can splurge on a fancy meal out.  Get excited about dates. enjoy your free time. Take advantage of your single days.  OR your young married days.  OR even your young kids phase.  But enjoy the good in each phase.  Look to the future but don't waste the advantages of the time you are in.

9. Your parents aren't always right. BUT they are right a majority of the time.

Your parents can be wrong sometimes.  Some kids already know this. I don't think I did. I got mad at my parents alot during high school, but at the end of the day, I desperately wanted to please them...and I still do. But, I am slowly learning that they are human and sometimes they screw up and say the wrong things.  They may want good things for me that aren't the best things for me.

However, you little rebels who always thought your parents were wrong, you will come to learn that a good bit of the time, they are actually right.  They may be human and make mistakes, BUT they do have a lot of wisdom.

10. Figuring out your life may take time.

I am dating a boy who will graduate from architecture school at 28.  He already has an engineering degree and went back to school. It took him a little more time and school to figure things out.  I graduated and went straight to law school.  I took the shorter route but at the end of the day, we are both going to have degrees in our profession.

11. Be prepared to make mistakes.

This is huge. I am not excusing mistakes, BUT I am preparing you that you will make them.  Don't let them devestate you.  You are young and doing life on your own for the first time ever so you may take advantage of the freedom or make a poor choice.  God's grace reaches you in college, your twenties, thirties, fourties, etc.  You can't fall out of His reach, so every time, run back to Him.

12. Make your relationship with Christ your own.

At my age, no one makes me go to church. No one makes me read scripture or pray.  But, I do...not perfectly, not always consistantly, but I do.  These decisions begin in college.  Find a church you like. Find a campus ministry you like. Read a book of the Bible you like.  You have some freedom in this.  Likewise, when you graduate, find a church you like...and a community of believers to hold you accountable.