What I am reading Wednesday 10-10-2012

Here are some lovely articles you should all check out:

1. I love this article about the best relationships not always having the best storyline...you didn't meet on new years when your eyes caught his at a party? thats okay.  I will do a whole post on this article one day because I can so relate.  My first love was a very sweet story -- we were eachother's first kiss, first i love you, and we were getting married so we would have been the "only" in all these categories...but it ended horribly.  In fact, most of my really 'sweet beginnings' have not gone well.  Dave and I don't have a precious story (though there are precious moments and details) but we are currently going strong.  SO, I really related to this article.

The author stated: "Because it’s boring to say that things don’t work out like they do in the movies. Everyone knows that. Even 21-year-olds. But it’s hard to resist a great story. If we had lasted, we would have had one hell of a story."

But then again, love is about more than a great story right??
2. This article is about pain after sorrow (specifically miscairrage) I don't know this specific pain, although I've known pain.  I thought I'd pass it along.
3. This whole series on Sanctification is amazing so far and I can't wait to read the next installment.  Here is Sanctification through Singleness  and Sanctification through broken bodies. 

4. This article is on avoiding desperation in dating...because being too desperate never leads anywhere good.  Although i'd argue that a little neediness is good -- recognizing you need companionship and need grace when dating motivates you to give people chances.  Ironically, I find that most people I know aren't desperate (thankfully), but they are too picky.  I know many girls who want to date and talk about how others pass on men, but then they pass on men too.  No need to be desperate and settle but also no need to expect a prince.  However, if your value rests on a boy/girl's approval,  if you are dating someone you feel you need to change for or feel is leading you away from Jesus, read this article.  There has to be a middle ground between desperation and rediculous standards.  I know we are ALL trying to find it.

What I am reading Wednesday

(1) This girl slipped off her purity ring and is no longer waiting for a husband. I like her viewpoint....

(2) Waiting patiently when the Story Goes Dark.  Oh, how I can relate.  I am sure you can relate too.  I love what the author says:

The point is, God often takes us through the darkness. He does this so that we might learn to trust him with all our hearts, and lean not on our own understanding. God wants us to know that he is our shepherd. He leads us beside still waters, and he leads us through the valley of death. He wants us to learn to trust him in both places. Often God lets our circumstances get so extreme that our only hope is God himself.
When our story gets dark we must look to the Author of our story. The story may seem bleak, but we can be absolutely sure that the Author is good.

(3) This article on my beloved grove, literally the BEST tailgating in the nation. I love that  articles (thank you notes from visiting schools) tend to be written often to my two alma maters...People for Ole Miss and Auburn show others a good time and tend to treat them well!

The Grove is 10 acres of nothing but trees and tents as far as the eye can see. It's zero-lot line tailgating and it's the close proximity that gives it a synergistic spirit of community unrivaled by any other. Imagine the parking lot at Texas with the most happening tailgating scene and magnify it by 10 or 20. That's The Grove.

And you'd think with all those people packed in there that there'd be a propensity for conflicts to arise, especially with several opposing fans practically stumbling over one another and copious amounts of booze at every turn. But everyone is free as can be to move about as they please, courtesy is an unbroken code, and the more that squeeze in, the merrier it seems to get. After a few hours, you can hardly tell where one tailgate ends and the next begins. The result is a homogeneous sea of endless cocktail parties and I don't think anyone ever met a stranger in The Grove. At least I know I didn't.

Lest we be remiss with getting too deep into the logistics and forget to mention the pageantry of it all, and that starts with the ladies of course. When they say the women are so good looking at Ole Miss that they can redshirt Miss America there, they're not wishful thinking. And it's not just that they're good looking, it's the effort and lengths they go to stick out in a cauldron of eye candy. Think social Darwinism, the All-Stars edition. Between the painted on dresses, high heels, and hair to match, just about every female mingling about is dressed like they're late for their best friend's wedding. Ensembles that would seem completely impractical and out of place at just about any other football venue in the country are basically their dress code. Their male counterparts don't go to quite those lengths, but it's definitely business casual for many and it's not uncommon to see a dapper dandy clad in a dinner jacket and a bow tie.

(4) True Love Does More than Just Wait.  So many of these articles recently. I am assuming people are realizing that the ways they were teaching abstinence were incorrect.

(5) Wait, God wants us to have fun sometimes?

(6) Another article on waiting......  this time discussing what we are really waiting for. I have talked before about how waiting gives you an eternal perspective and this article discusses that (in a much more eloquent way of course!) Thanks to Nikki for sharing it.
What about y'all? Any articles you have enjoyed recently?? Please share!!

What I am Reading Wednesday

1. God is not who I thought He Was (Jon Acuff) -- Thank goodness He isn't who I thought he was, because sometimes my view of Him have been lacking.  I could really relate to this concept of "unlearning God"  We have preconceived incorrect notions about a lot of things in life, including our Savior.

2.Another Jon Acuff article on grace, forgiveness, not needing to be perfect, etc. "I know in my head that, when you give us grace, you are not finishing the process of forgiveness, you are beginning it."


3. I am dating a boy that loves to tell me (a very black and white thinker) to think outside the box which is why I enjoyed this article about holding on to God's words, expecting Him to do marvelous things and seeing God outside our limited box view.
4. WORST MARRIAGE PROPOSAL EVER.   seriously, folks, if this happened to me, I'd say NO, try again.  Not because I am mean, but because this was cruel.

5. I loved this article encouraging men to deal with the fears of rejection and man up.  Women risk rejection in different ways than men so all have to be willing to take a risk.


6. Ever questioned if God really has your best interest at heart? I suppose if you have been hurt or waited for anything in life, then you probably have. THIS ARTICLE was one of the most encouraging articles I have read in weeks, not because it provided answers, but because it summed up what many of us have felt before.

7. Delaying sex improves marriage?  SURPRISE SURPRISE.  Granted, this statistically speaking, not specific to everyone. But, on the whole, delaying sex imrovees communication, sexual quality, relationship satisfaction and stability.  It's nice when obediance has benefits

8. This is a good article on a trend I have seen lately: making families and marriage an idol.  This article talks about making God's gifts into gods.You see this in small "noble" ways like obsession with a certain type of schooling, birthing, parenting style in which you believe you are superior if you do those things (not attacking a certain type of parenting style) and you also see this in pettier areas such as exclusive young mom groups at churches. AND I think this notion of making God's gifts into gods applies to lots of things: career, enjoying your single days, obsession with marriage or boyfriends, college football (gulp), friends, etc.

What I am reading Wednesday

1. I love this article on "The pain of Childbearing" (mothering). Favorite line: "I cannot raise my children to be safe, but I can raise them to be strong."  I think thats true of my siblings and me...we were raised to be strong in a world that isn't safe.  I suppose the best you can do for your kids is to first teach them the gospel daily and second, teach them how to live in this world -- strength, kindness, endurance, etc.

2. I love Mississippi.  One of the poorest states but one of the most generous.  When people hate on my state, I get so angry. You don't even know how great this place is, how people come together for good causes, how you get invited to peoples homes and how you are taken care of.  Mississippi is a special place, but go ahead and hate on it: we will keep it "our litte secret" and keep awful haters out.


3. This article talks about trials and their purpose.

And it is why Peter is able to say, with a straight face, that you should “rejoice” in trial (1 Peter 1:6).This doesn’t mean it’s fun to be in a trial. It only means that the cognizance of what the trial really is in the spiritual realm (an opportunity for faith to prove itself) is the “joy set before you” (see Hebrews 12:2) that will make the trial bearable and will motivate you to keep clinging to God and keep obeying. Jesus had to live life the same way, and He set us an example. So whenever you feel that grumbling in the tummy, or you are caught in another trial, tell yourself, like Linda did: “Good. This means something good is happening.” It is having “the mind of Christ.”


4. We all have walked through a desert before.  A desert can be used for God's purposes.

What I am Reading Wednesday 7-25-2012

1. When I am waiting, I often ask Why doesn't God Hurry Up?  If you are waiting, read this ;)


2.  I think most of us could benefit from learning the 7 ways to develop Humility.


3.  When we face trials in life, we can Sink or Fight.  I LOVE how the author quotes this verse:


Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 42:11


Then the author says: 


“I shall again praise him” is a statement of faith. We are saying we believe God will come through for us down the road. That in the future Jesus will give us something to praise him about. That God will cause whatever we’re going through to work for good.


4.  When whining about a hardship in my life, my roomie once told me "well sanctification isn't supposed to be fun!"  Its true, when we think God is being a drill sergeant, He is actually our physician.


5.  As a lawyer and more importantly as a female, I agree with this author in her thesis that words have hurtful or helpful effects on us.


6.  I now want to read this book, A Gospel Primer, especially the portion that says:


"The gospel is the one great permanent circumstance in which I live and move; and every hardship in my life is allowed by God only because it serves his gospel purposes in me. When I view my circumstances in this light, I realize that the gospel is not just one piece of good news that fits into my life somewhere among all the bad. I realize instead that the gospel makes genuinely good news out of every other aspect of my life, including my severest trials."

What I am reading WEDNESDAY

What I am reading this week.....

(1) I love this article about how sometimes limiting displays of affection is whats best for the other person.  This article talks about situations where one is moving from friendship into relationship. But, I have found this to be true in established relationships where one person needs things to slow down for a bit. I've had it happen to me and I have been the one to slow things down.  I think the author's point about caring for someone meaning you don't make grand statements before you are ready.  I've been hurt by this and currently have a friend who was recently hurt by this (a guy rushing in too fast), so I think its best to wait. Don't discuss serious things too much before you are ready...or if you think the other person is still getting ready.

Displays of public affection, verbal commitments that are born out of sheer emotion, and false promises based on temporary emotions are the "useless" gifts that we can be so generous with. But then we’re too stingy with the costly gifts essential for the other person’s well-being: We don’t consider their welfare before we pronounce our commitment or affection; we don’t consider whether our displays of affection will be healthy for them or cause possible confusion and later hurt. Are you learning to deny your selfish desires and put the other person’s spiritual welfare ahead of your own emotional and physical lusts?



How do you truly know whether you are committed to this person and that you truly love him or her? Here’s how you know: Your love is directly proportional to your willingness to act unselfishly, to even let the person think less of you, if in doing so you are serving their spiritual advancement. If you would rather not declare your love because you want to make sure the relationship is wise, that’s counting the cost. That’s love. If you would rather know whether your feelings are returned before you even know whether the relationship would honor God, that’s selfishness. Analyzing your feelings is a waste of time. Analyze instead the fruit of love, your willingness to sacrifice, your commitment to the other person’s welfare.

(2) This post by Ray Orland is so encouraging..sometimes we are trusting, even when we are struggling through the hurt.  If I had a nickle for every time some well meaning Christian has told me during a time of struggle that I wasn't trusting enough, I'd retire now. Sometimes, there was truth to what they were saying, but MANY times, I was struggling and doubting and trusting anyways....thats hard.  This is espeically common in singleness (and from what I hear, in waiting to have a baby) -- I would usually walk away from those conversations feeling just as frustrated by my singleness as I was before, except now I also felt guilty for being a bad Christian and not trusting God enough. 

You may be going through hell right now. You may be bewildered, gasping, frightened. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t trusting God. It might mean you are trusting God.
Isaiah really unde...rstood something. He understood that it’s in this tension that our strength is renewed. How so? There is something about coming to the end of ourselves and our own strength and wisdom — that’s when our hearts finally crack open, and the love of God pours in.
When we have nothing of our own left, when nothing will suffice but that which is directly and immediately of God, that’s when God alone is our sufficiency, and we find him to be so. He’s worth the wait.

(3)  Jon Acuff hit the nail on the head when talking about fearing the future.  I am bad about this.  When I was job searching, I imagined the future as me living with my parents or barely making ends meet working in a restaurant, drowning in debt.  As a single, I imagine that I will never get married and will spend my holidays all alone in my house eating takeout and watching lifetime or sitting awkwardly through a family meal with someone else.  In law school, I'd miss one question on a final and imagine I failed.  Where is God is these imagined worst outcomes? Nowhere.  Even if the worst were to happen to me, it could still be redeemed, still be salvaged.  Even if I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I would not do it alone.  Thanks for the reminder Jon!

There’s just me. With my meager skills and abilities trying to navigate the entire world
That should be scary. I’m wildly incapable of trying to control the world. I’ve tried. It didn’t work.
God, on the other hand? You’d be surprised h...ow very few things get out of control when they are in his hands. Never is the word that comes to mind. You’d be surprised how many situations are beyond his ability to redeem. None is the word that comes to mind. You’d be surprised how many monsters are bigger than him. Zero is the word that comes to mind.
Fear is a lonely thing because it always tries to tell you there is no God. Don’t listen to it. God is near. And fear is a liar.

(4) Fabs Harford may be my favorite blogger ever.  I want to be her best friend. I relate to everything she writes, partly because she is 30 and single and serving the Lord and stumbling through life like the rest of us, and partly because she is so honest. I love that, I love feeling like she was honest about the good and bad in a situation.

Here is her article on Love v. Ego hunger as it relates to relationships and even more importantly, as it relates to God.

(5) Jesus despises suffering.  Love this article.  Love the Paul Tripp Quote included.

“To have an accurate, biblically balanced view of suffering, you must first say suffering is a bad thing. Its existence points out all the things that are wrong with us and our world. We live in a world that is broken and groaning under the weight of all the damage that the fall has done. We should never look at all of this carnage and think that it is okay that people suffer. Scripture calls us to be a community of compassion, motivated by love, and zealous to relieve or remove suffering whenever and wherever we can. And the Bible promises that there will be a day when all this carnage will forever end, and we will be welcomed into a place totally free of any pain or suffering.” – Paul Tripp, Lost in the Middle

What I am reading Wednes.., I mean Friday

I have been an awful blogger. I will get back to it soon. Until then, a late post on some good articles....

(1) I loved this one: Today was supposed to be my Wedding Day.

This author wrote the article for the Gospel Coalition on the day she was supposed to get married after she and her fiance ended their engagement. I loved the author's words...

"Marriage and family are still the two things I want most in life, but I know that they're in God's control---not mine.... Now, I find fulfillment in God. He is my rock, the one who deserves my love and attention. While it is a daily struggle to trust him with the things I care about so deeply, he has proven that he's looking out for me. I leave my future in his hands."

She certainly has a more mature view of the situation than I did at the time, though I suspect I knew these things to be tue.  I also suspect she has many ups and downs and many days of doubt ahead of her so I keep her and hear aching heart in my prayers.  But what a true statement for anything we go through. Just change the words to say " A healthy marriage is what I want most..." or "A fulfilling career or ministry is what I want most" or "Remission from cancer is what I want most".... Leaving our future in His hands is both the scariest thing (for control freaks like myself) and most comforting thing (oh you mean I dont have to solve this??) we do.

(2) It is no secret that I love this blog by Fabs Harford because I am constantly attaching her articles to my own blog.  I loved this week's blog on being satisfied/being ok.

"This is the Gospel: our confession that we are helpless apart from His intervention. The irony of our desire for things to be okay is that ultimately - things will only turn out okay for those who have the grace to know that they need God ...to make things okay. Things will not turn out okay for those who persist in seeking to climb their way to an eternal ‘okay’.


Every time you feel your desire for everything to turn out for your good tempt you to control or manipulate or plan, instead let that longing lead you to ask God for help. He promises that He will work every single detail of every single minute of every single day for our good if we’re in Christ.

Every moment is happening – not in spite of God’s promise to make everything turn out okay – but because of His promise that He will work everything for my good."
 
(3) Choose Joy.
 
We must choose joy. We must, if necessary, say out loud to ourselves and to God that we will rejoice in Him today.


THIS ARTICLE REMINDED ME THAT I HAVE NOT DONE MY THANKFULNESS LIST RECENTLY. TIME TO DO THAT SOON.

(4) When all you can see is how bad things are.....

What I am reading Wednesday (May 2, 2012)

Here is what I am reading this week....

1. Silenty Single  -- love love love this blog post. My goal was to have a honest blog on singleness, and although some days I am honest, some days, I think I feel far to embaressed to share -- both the good and the bad.  Too embaressed to share the lonely days and too embaressed to talk about how excited I am over a date or a new outfit or an uplifting comment from someone (want to make a single girls' day?? make a reference about her future....one day, when you get married, you should have this band play..... one day, I bet your kids are super chubby because you love to bake....where do you think you'll send your kids to school? SOUNDS SO SILLY, but hearing the word when instead of if is so uplifting!!  in fact, its best to use the word WHEN not IF when you talk to someone looking for a job or waiting for a baby) Anyways, back on subject, this was honest about the thing singles feel the most: have we been forgotten? (the author discusses God not forgetting her, but truth is, I think singles fear other people forget them as well!)  I may have to do an entire blog post on this blog post)

2. Is there love after marriage?  and the follow up blog post: Marriage and a New Kind of Love 

3. For my like 3 male readers, here is a great article by Kevin DeYoung at the Gospel Coalition about ways to love his wife.  It's true, and funny. 

4. BTW, did anyone else catch that CBS has already listed bowl predictions for 2013?? it's coming...

5. Dentist pulls out her ex bf's teeth after they split.  a) we all have atleast one ex we would LOVE to do this to, although I hope we would all never do this! and b) he kindof deserved this (no, not really) -- how dumb can you be to go get your toothache checked out by the girl you just dumped? (especially when he already had a new gf as the article stated)  You have to know there are bad feelngs silly boy.

What I am reading wednesday, er Friday....

Now that I do midweek confessions, I forget to post good articles.

Here are some I have read this past week.

30 things to know before 30   --- its getting closer.

Date a girl who travels

Hope in the Hunger Games

God's beauty-- definitely not boring.

God provides in ways we can't imagine.

3 questions to ask yourself before posting something on Facebook

What I am reading Wednesday (er, Thursday...)

Here is a little bit of what I am reading lately....

Here is the downside of living together before marriage from the NY Times.  I know a lot of people will disagree with me for my views on living together before marriage, but I believe that it is wrong biblically, but even from a secular perspective, I think it puts you in a holding pattern.  IE, Joe and Sally are dating and have dated long enough to see some flaws but not all flaws. But they have seen enough to know that they want to get married and work through whatever conflict/flaws/disagreements they discover in marriage....so when they get married and she is moody or they disagree on how they want to raise their kids, etc, there is more commitment and more reason to get married.  If they do a "trial run", its like an unending tryout for marriage...they learn some of those flaws and disagreements early-- he's grumpy in the mornings, she's a slob....they keep waiting (because after all they are getting many of the financial, emotional and sexual benefits of marriage so no motivation to actually get married) until all disagreements are solved...the only catch is once issue is dealt with, another one comes up....so they never get married, or they do after years.

What have men you dated done right in relationships?  and wrong?

I hope next year is a good one for Auburn (on a side note, the Dyer stuff is upsetting me, shows how quickly all of us can go from the top to trouble by a few bad decisions.  Although he is no longer at Auburn, and thats a good decision by the coach, I do hope for his sake that he gets his life back together)

There is this blog I follow and the couple is adopting from ethiopia (not an adoption blog, but it discusses adoption a lot lately since they are in the process...) I have been touched by reading their story. I am happy to report they just picked up their daughter. I encourage you to check out her blog and pray for safe journeys for this family and a smooth transition.


Here is an article from the economist entitled The Waiting Game  - about chasity before marriage.

I thought this article on spouses not witholding affection was great.  I had never seen it this way.  Surely we have all heard about how they should not withold sex-- his body is hers, her body is his, but this author points to 1 Cor 7:3 which states each should render to the other the affection due.  Witholding affection via the silent treatment, refusing to touch and be kind, etc is wrong too.  Not that spouses are never mad at eachother, but I guess the proper way to deal with it is talk about it, not manipulatively punish them into realizing what he or she did wrong.

What I am reading Wednesday

This article is me to a T....except not as extreme.  I don't see myself as a newlywed, decorating a nursery before I get pregnant. But I am naturally a planner and thus, often a worrier. So I look ahead.  I want to know where my life will take me-- if a job will open up in a year or two, if a relationship will lead to forever or just heartache, if I will be a lawyer forever or do something else, if I will travel to this ballgame next year, how many kids should i have, etc etc.  I often times (espeically relationally) am worrying because I want to know the outcome in order to diminish pain.  This author made some good points about always looking to the future not the present.

I LOVE this article on praying in expectation.  This is what has changed the most in my prayer life in the past year or so.  I read a lot of spurgeon exerpts and articles talking about praying with real faith....and as I started praying, expecting an answer and thanking God for that answer before he even answered, I begin to get more answer and at very least, notice answers that had been there. 

A yankee's perspective on ole miss and the south.

"What I'm reading" Wednesday (or Thursday) and a Phone Photo Dump

Usually I point to some good articles on Wednesday, but I was too busy confessing yesterday so I forgot. So here are a few Thursday articles.

Here's a good article on hope...not just eternally, but now.

When God doesn't give you a plan... learning to trust His plan even when you don't see it at the time.

10 things to tell teenage girls...and actually ten things we could all probably benefit from!

Also, I realize my blog has become very boring -- no pictures! So here is an iphone dump from the past couple months!



At our friends' wedding....

Learning to fish like a real Mississippi Girl..... (yes I know this is not how you hold the fish, but I was just holding it up in a victory pose for the picture)

Charity Ball Preparty....

Mardi Gras...in the rain...

Nola Aquarium (since it rained most of mardi gras)...

At the governor's ball...

What I am reading Wednesday

I know I am not married, but I am not immnune to being part of an affair (or having an affair when married). I think this is an excellent article about how affairs begin.  It's always the small things right??

This article hit the nail on the head about lies singles believe (and whats even sadder is these are lies we are often taught by the church and other Christians!!) My personal favorite  - when you are ready or mature enough, you will get married.  As if people who get married younger are a lot more mature.. Some are mature, some got pregnant and had to get married, some couldn't wait sexually, some were settling, some were in love and knew that they would grow up together-- all the same reasons people in their late 20s get married!! I once had a girl tell me the reason I was not married but my sister was must be because I am way less mature than her. Ok, whatever. My sister is plenty mature so that may be true, it may not, we may bothe be immature for all I know, but she didn't earn marriage by achieving a certain level of maturity, no more than I will have earned it when I get there.

Here is a good one on Tim Tebow.  Same truth applies to us: we may not know what our future holds, but we know who holds our future.

what i am reading wednesday

Love and Marriage: Luther Style: an interesting article about Luther and his wife, their commitment, then their growing romance

Blessed are those who get more: suffering that is.

CS Lewis on the dangers of love

Get out of your comfort zone.

A letter to singles on valentines day....

What I am reading Wednesday

I was out of town this weekend and am trying hard to catch up on life, I have started a fun post my sister tagged me for: answering a bunch of questions but I am not done yet....but here is more of what I am reading this week.

I love Auburn and how it values people, not just winning. This is a great story about player, Shon Coleman's battle with cancer and Auburn's support.

how do you know if your ready to marry?

Why we need God to fence us in.

Making our goal the glory of God.

 Ok, so I don't have many more articles to post this week. I'll hopefully have some good ones next wednesday ;)

What I'm reading Wednesday

I've been a horrible blogger, I am sorry. Life has just been busy...good busy, but busy just the same. I have taken some time to read good articles though and wanted to share them with you.... enjoy :)


I needed to read this article. I always thing why didn't God stop bad things, but truth is He is stopping bad things and when I get hurt or others get hurt, I should think about all that He did PREVENT from happening.

I'm not a mom....yet, but when I am, this is how I want to raise my babies.

I always love what Jon Acuff has to say on serious Wednesday at Stuff Christians Like website.

Redefining Hope -- hope in, not hope for.

God works in different ways to bring people together...sometimes we forget that.

Should I stay or should I go? This article had to do with a dating relationship, but it made me think about all decisions in life-- how sometimes there is not a right or wrong answer, just the freedom to choose and make that choice best. (Wouldn't it be easier if every decision was right or wrong?)

National Signing Day.  Here's hoping for a good class. War Eagle.