having no choice.....

One of the best blog posts I have ever read....it really should make us, as believers, evaluate how we treat pregnant women.  Don't get me wrong, I believe abortion is wrong, I don't believe in a feminist agenda and "pro choice" and fetuses not being seen as babies.  But, you know what? I don't think many young women are pro choice feminists.  I think they feel they have no choice....and sadly, I think they feel alone and like they don't have a choice because we (myself included) fail them.

I do think things are improving though.  I do think there are a lot of Christians opening their churches and their arms for lost women, unplanned babies, recovering alcoholics, former drug addicts, those struggling with sins and consequences of sins, etc...which warms my heart because we are all sinners and the church should be a place where sinners come.

Here's some exerpts from the blog post...

Abortion isn’t so much about a woman having choice — but a woman feeling like she has no choice.
We all get to decide that — between erasing sin and embracing grace. One’s impossible — and the other makes everything possible. When we’re all about the best looking good instead of the broken living grace, some don’t think they can take the shame. Some take an appointment. We can shame a woman for getting pregnant and we can shame her for aborting that baby but it’s shame for sin that bullies into further sin and what if instead of shaming, we weren’t ashamed of the Gospel of extravagant Grace?

Grace isn’t ever a paltry thing — Grace is always the very power of God. Grace never negates obedience. Grace always initiates obedience.Shame bullies and grace shields and when you are covered in grace you uncover hope.
For Christ followers, it’s more than being pro-choice and pro-life — it’s about always being pro-the-least-of-these.

The abortion debate draws women and children as unexpected enemies; the Gospel defends both as unexpectedly vulnerable.
The abortion debate offers that a woman is ultimately responsible alone for her child; the Gospel offers that no woman is ever alone and the Body of Christ is response-able to both woman and child.


The abortion debate is not so much about how we can somehow change the law, but right now change how we love. To have credibility in lobbying for laws against the abortion of babies, we must have the dependability of opening our doors for the welcoming of children.
If we are truly pro-the-least-of-these: How does each and every Christian live in a way that witnesses to wanting all children, to welcoming all children, to wrapping around all children?And how do we value the worth of every single woman?
You and I, we have to. Because ultimately this isn’t a debate and we can’t turn away indifferent — When we turn away from vulnerable women and children, we turn away from the venerable Christ.

The real weapon against abortion

Today marks 40 years since Roe v. Wade and I, for one, am very dissapointed about how abortion is being fought against in this country...

Maybe you remember my struggle with Prop 26 and whether or not I should vote for it.  Although I very much believe abortion is wrong, I did (and still do) believe that amendment was poorly wordered and overinclusive and could have grave consequences.  At the end of the day, I decided to go against my better legal judgment and vote for the amendment, simply because it was the only amendment available and I thought the chance that it might save lives was greater than the chance that it might be broadly applied to things like birth control, etc.

Additionally, part of my issues with Prop 26 was the people advocating it.  I have some good God fearing friends who have a heart for the issue and have donated time, money and resources towards loving women facing unwanted pregnancies and towards adoption.  I also knew many people who have never stepped in a crisis pregnancy center, never cared for an unwed mother, never donated goods to Bethany for single moms, never thought about adoption, who wanted to make grand statements about Prop 26.  I've heard people talk poorly about those who consider abortion. These people seem to want legislation, but not any real involvement with women (and men) in a position to consider abortion.  Its easier to support when support doesn't require anything but voting and judgment.

Sadly many Christians fail to recognize that support and love of unwed mothers and active involvement in adoption is far more important than awareness, waiving signs, posting facebook statuses or placing a prolife sticker on your minivan. So, maybe its time to put down your fetus sign and hold the hand of a struggling teenage girl or help a waiting adoptive family with their adoption fundraiser.  Open your arms and hearts and maybe even homes to teenage girls who are facing unwanted pregnancies.

I've read some very critical words on Christian websites/articles talking about how women sin by abortion (leaving the man's responsibility out) and placing a lot of shame and judgment on women in tough situations.

The thing is, I understand how a teenage girl might choose abortion.  It likely isn't a decision made because of lack of awareness (we tend to think that they aren't aware that what's growing in them is an actual baby).  Its a decision made because of fear and a lack of support.  I'm from the Bible Belt, the deep south, so I can easilly imagine the sinking feeling of knowing you have 9 months of judgment ahead of you, maybe even more.  I have supportive parents but many girls don't.  If the father and their family bails on them or would bail on them, I can understand how one considers "fixing" the problem.

But what if the thought of an unwanted pregnancy seemed a little less scary and lonely?  What if girls knew that believers and the church would take care of them? What if they felt that they would have support in raising a baby alone or could find a loving home for their child?

So, thats my thoughts for today -- I have no grand conservative attack plan for how to end abortion.  I certainly think we need to continue to fight against abortion in a legal sense.  But, I also think that will take awhile and we can help save lives (babies and moms) by actual having concern for those affected.

Today, I think, of all the anger filled, attackful Prop 26 statuses I saw on facebook in the weeks before the vote (some righteous anger, some hateful anger), how many of those people have actually reached out to an unwed mother since then?  In the past year, how many have considered adoption?  How many have donated time and goods to pregnancy centers?

Voting against abortion and speaking out against abortion is a good thing, but if we don't put action behind our words, then our words mean nothing.

Adoption

I've always been a big fan of adoption. I have always known I wanted to adopt.  And I have always admired those who were involved in adoption -- both adoptive families and birthmothers.  I wanted to share this article that came through my FB feed via Bethany Christian Services.  Just a reminder today to pray for those involved in adoption. After all, we are ALL adopted by our father!

What I am reading Wednesday (er, Thursday...)

Here is a little bit of what I am reading lately....

Here is the downside of living together before marriage from the NY Times.  I know a lot of people will disagree with me for my views on living together before marriage, but I believe that it is wrong biblically, but even from a secular perspective, I think it puts you in a holding pattern.  IE, Joe and Sally are dating and have dated long enough to see some flaws but not all flaws. But they have seen enough to know that they want to get married and work through whatever conflict/flaws/disagreements they discover in marriage....so when they get married and she is moody or they disagree on how they want to raise their kids, etc, there is more commitment and more reason to get married.  If they do a "trial run", its like an unending tryout for marriage...they learn some of those flaws and disagreements early-- he's grumpy in the mornings, she's a slob....they keep waiting (because after all they are getting many of the financial, emotional and sexual benefits of marriage so no motivation to actually get married) until all disagreements are solved...the only catch is once issue is dealt with, another one comes up....so they never get married, or they do after years.

What have men you dated done right in relationships?  and wrong?

I hope next year is a good one for Auburn (on a side note, the Dyer stuff is upsetting me, shows how quickly all of us can go from the top to trouble by a few bad decisions.  Although he is no longer at Auburn, and thats a good decision by the coach, I do hope for his sake that he gets his life back together)

There is this blog I follow and the couple is adopting from ethiopia (not an adoption blog, but it discusses adoption a lot lately since they are in the process...) I have been touched by reading their story. I am happy to report they just picked up their daughter. I encourage you to check out her blog and pray for safe journeys for this family and a smooth transition.


Here is an article from the economist entitled The Waiting Game  - about chasity before marriage.

I thought this article on spouses not witholding affection was great.  I had never seen it this way.  Surely we have all heard about how they should not withold sex-- his body is hers, her body is his, but this author points to 1 Cor 7:3 which states each should render to the other the affection due.  Witholding affection via the silent treatment, refusing to touch and be kind, etc is wrong too.  Not that spouses are never mad at eachother, but I guess the proper way to deal with it is talk about it, not manipulatively punish them into realizing what he or she did wrong.

adopton

I have never hid the fact that I want to adopt....and unless I married a man who was strongly opposed to it, I feel pretty strongly that I will...even if single, I will. I feel like the Lord makes it clear that we should take care of orphans, so if we don't adopt, we should be in prayer for those adopting, or help with fundraising and encouraging.

I really liked this blog post on 10 things adoptive moms wished others knew.