(THIS PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN AS A DUAL BLOG TOPIC WITH HOPE BECAUSE IT GOES ALONG WITH THAT POST.)
Seriously, I strongly dislike comments like "When you quit looking, He'll find you" or even worse, "When you are satisfied in Jesus, he will give you a mate." and these comments come from married folks.
On top of being biblically UNTRUE, it also implies that the speaker did "quit looking" and focused only on Jesus and reached some spiritual level deemed good enough to be blessed with a spouse...so therefore, be like them.
Now, what people mean to say is this: Don't stress, don't panic, don't obsess. Be yourself and don't worry if every date you go on is the one. Thats all true. And if there is any inkling of truth to the whole "I quit looking and found him" theory, its this: when you aren't as worried, you are more fun and more attractive.
But, goodness, ladies, keep on looking. If you want to get into med school, you may sometimes need to take a night off, but you don't get into med school when you quit trying. You can't get in without studying, taking the MCAT, interviewing! Same with dating....you may need to take time off from looking at times...a weekend in, a couple months after a breakup. You certainly don't need to always stress and worry, but never quit looking.
And by don't quit looking, I don't mean limit your search to guys who you think meet some checklist in your head. I mean, be open. Did a guy from church ask you out, but he is not your type? Give hime a chance. Were you invited to a party with people you don't know well? Good, dress up cute and go mingle.
Don't always be thinking -- is this a guy I can marry, but always be thinking - is this a guy I can go on a date with. Figuring out if its the right guy doesn't happen immediately, deciding he's a sweet enough guy to go to dinner with is pretty easy.
I gave some guys a chance I probably shouldn't have, but being open minded kept me dating and meeting new people. I think my willingness to meet new people and actively look helped me meet Dave....although along the way, I certainly took breaks from the dating scene several times!
Keep on looking. And, know that looking doesn't mean you don't trust God or that you aren't content in God (NOTE: You probably aren't content enough in God, none of us are!) It just means that you hope to meet a great guy to settle down with. So, live life, keep looking and be open to try new things - online dating, blind dates, giving guys a chance you never thought you would, etc!
Serena & Lily Tucker Chair
1 hour ago