411 (EDITED)

I edited this because I accidently left the last question off.  complete now!

My sister l did this and I thought I would too...

1. How long have you been blogging? And what got you started on blogging? Has your blog changed?


I started blogging 5 years ago when I backpacked europe to update my family and friends on my travels.  I then started blogging again a few years ago but didn't start doing it seriously until recently.  I realized with an abundance of mommy blogs, we needed some more singles blogs so thats why I started blogging!


2. Did you go to college? If so where, and what did you study?


I went to Auburn and loved it!! I was in the honors college and majored in political science with a minor in  philosophy.  I wrote my honors thesis on US public policy on outsourcing.  I then went to law school at Ole Miss.


3. Where have you travelled?


All over the United States, France, Spain, Italy, Vatican City, Austria, Germany, Netherlands, Belgium, Poland, Czech Republic, Belize, Canada, Mexico, Malawi, Zambia.


4. If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy?


A law school education....and by that, I mean, I'd pay off my student loans.


5. What are your 3 biggest pet peeves?


(1) when people tell you how many cm dilated they are on their facebook status.
(2) people who are from other places, live in Mississippi, talk openly about how they hate it --- and wonder why they don't have any friends?
(3) one-upping 


6. What is your favorite movie?


The South of Music and Princess Bride.....but I also am currently in love with the 4 part BBC recent series Emma.


7. What is your drink of choice; wine, beer, or liquor. Or Water, Soda, Tea?


White wine or some liquors.
Soda - Diet Dr Pepper


8. What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time?


TV.  Occasionally a good book, but I read a lot so when I have a spare hour or two, i like to veg out and watch a tv show or movie.


9. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be?


hmmm...probably somewhere like Saks where I could buy some David Yurman, Tory Burch and a LV purse!


10. Share with us an embarrassing moment of your past? Or present.


Umm, probably recently, when I was doing my workout video in my shirt only and the plumber walked in me (as recently shared in midweek confessions)


11. What day would you love to relive again?


January 10, 2011 --Auburn National Championship.  hands down the best day of my life.


12. If your life was turned into a movie... what actor would play you?


Hmmm, Zooey Deschanel or Rachel McAdams.


13. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years?


High school -Kibbles Deli, babysitting
College- Auburn bookstore, Kanakuk Kamps, Ann Taylor loft, babysitting, congressional intern
Law School- Policy intern (Heritage Foundation), secretary for a retired lawyer/oil man, babysitting
right after school -- lawyer of course


14. Show us a picture from high school or college.

*New York City 2006, right after college graduation

15. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?


probably China, South Africa or somewhere super exotic like Tahiti :)


16. Show us the most current picture of you or you and your family.

*from a recent family photo shoot through Blackbird Photography

17. Where do you see your life 5 years from now?


I see my self as 33 :) of course! Married, most of student loans paid off, working part time, with 1-2 kids (here's hoping!)  Obviously a lot of these things - namely kids and husband aren't circumstances I control but that is where I *HOPE* to see myself in 5 years

an outsider's view on.... MOTHERING

I'm not a mother, so I am not an expert on how it should be done.  Don't take this post as a reliable authority you could site in a paper....but do take it has a honest opinion from someone on the outside looking in.

my opinion is: WOMEN HAVE GOT TO QUIT JUDGING THE QUALITY OF YOUR PARENTING BASED ON SILLY FACTORS.

I recently saw a picture on facebook of a friend's 3rd baby....the husband said something like this as the tag of the picture: "E had a successful v-back after 2 csections (although her righteousness and self worth are not based on how she delivers babies)"

I LOVED his post. I know it was partly joking but it was so true.  There is so much talk about c-sections being wrong and natural births being better or drugs during birth being a bad thing.  There is also criticism from the other side-- that natural births or home births are risky.  And, you know what? there may be some validity to some of these points...but at the end of the day, you are not a better mother because you had a drug free natural home birth or because you had a c-section in the nicest hospital in town.  I just think its funny how this becomes the end all be all of measuring your parenting decision making skills and abilities.

And that's when it begins...after that there are multiple decisions that mothers (and fathers I suppose) can make.... Do we breastfeed? How long? Cloth diapers of disposable? mom stays home and money is really tight? both parents work? (some families, this is NOT an option). Do we allow tv? public or private or home school? organic food? homemade baby food or store bought? babywise or attachment parenting? no sugar ever or sugar every now and then? etc, etc, etc.

The truth is....and again, this is from the outside looking in, not one of these decisions will likely destroy your child. And not one merits you as a good mother.

Do you love your child? Do you do whats best for them most of the time (we all fail some!)? Do you teach them about the Lord and His love for them? Do you give them opportunities to learn? Do you discipline them?

I know that some decisions are detrimental...12 hours of tv a day or nothing but sugar -- but just because you had a c section or nursed for 6 months not 12 or let your child eat candy at the movies does not make you a bad mother....and if your friends do things you disagree with like homeschool or allow tv before homework or chooses timeouts over spanking?

I just think that there are enough attacks on parents nowadays...enough challenges in raising godly kids, lets not attack eachother.

We all have the right to disagree and respect eachother. My sister uses cloth diapers. I probably won't use them with my kids...but at the end of the day, that decision won't make or break our kids.  Lets spend more time getting upset about the real problem parents-- those who or neglectful or abusive -- or spend time worrying about the single african mother trying to provide food for her babies.  Those are the real issues, whether you had a natural birth while singing at the top of your lungs or plan to homeschool and teach your 5 year old calculus, I may disagree but I don't think its the end of the world.

That facebook status was right: a woman's righteousness and self worth is not based on how she births her babies...or in the small decisions like which type of diaper to wear.  (Thankfully, her righteousness is not based in her mothering abilities at all, but thats an entirely different blog post... ) So, quit beating eachother up for small decisions and help encourage eachother in the big ones-- how to teach your child about Christ, how to encourage morality and obediance and a compassionate heart, how to appreciate your child for his or her little unique personalities.

Things I liked on FB today

When I get to heaven I’m gonna go find Job

I want to ask a few hard questions, I want to know what he knows

About what it is he wanted and what he got instead
How to be broken and faithful. -Sara Groves

 



Worse before it gets better

Thanks to my sister, I NOW have a wonderfully organized closet. (way too ADD = very few organizational skills; ironically enough I get annoyed when my roomies leave bowls of cereal milk in the sink  but I can handle a pile of clothes on my bedroom chair, to each his own, right??)

Before my sister came over, I made sure that all my clothes were hanging (some had been in a pile, as I said....) and I pulled most of my mismatched shoes out and put them in a basket.  So it already started out on a fairly decent level of messiness/lack thereof...  we weren't started with piles of clothes....we were starting on a fairly solid foundation.

And you know what the first thing she did?? Pull a LOT of my clothes out and put them in piles -- suits, dresses, cocktail attire, sweaters, etc...  Piles of what I needed to get rid of, what I would put back in the closet, what I was taking home to my mom (bc it was her clothing item to begin with), clothes I did not want anymore by my sister wanted....tons of piles.

If you looked at my closet and hallway mid-organize, it was overwhelming, completely stressful.  I was thinking HOW does this look so bad, earlier I had it in a decent, much better condition?  She just made it worse! This will take us 2 whole days to finish!!!

I couldn't see the ending very well...of course all of you very organized people know the ending to this story: sometimes there has to be a bigger mess to get to the beautiful end result.  And that's what happened-- a lot of messiness THEN a lovely organized closet --color coordinated too!!.  Hmmm, sounds a lot like life!

Sometimes we think that we are doing a decent job with our lives.  Things could be worse...sure I gossip, I have mean thoughts, I place a high value on worldly things, I occasionally drink too much or have lustful thoughts, etc etc...but I could be a LOT worse.  and my relationship with God is OK...I go to church, I sometimes go to sunday school, I pray....and few things are going wrong.  Then life falls apart, and its like God takes our decent life -- the one we think we have together -- and makes it even messier for awhile.  He pulls out are fairly clean closet and throws the clothes on the floor.  And we sit there stunned...and overwhelmed, and confused at how His involvement is making things any better, instead things are worse.

Then slowly but surely, the clothes get hung up CORRECTLY.  God starts putting life back together in a more glorious way, but not without making us throw a few piles of junk away first.  Not without a few moments of looking at Him and saying I don't know what to do (which I am pretty sure I said to Marley last night...)

Sometimes Life gets a lot messier before its good again...its just God reorginizing!

Dating/Relationship Series #8: Apologize

I have been doing a series on dating and relationships (how to date, where to meet guys, important things when dating) I am considering following this up with a singleness series...

I think an important part of relationships (and not just dating relationships) is the ability to apologize WELL. or for some people, just learning to apologize would be a step up. This past week I had a situation where I had to accept that someone who had wronged me was not going to apologize, just pretend nothing happened.  So, eventually I swallowed my pride and started acting like things were normal.  This frustrates me because the issue was never resolved.

One plus from this situation is that it got me thinking how horrible this would be for Dave and me if we didn't apologize.  I thought of how when he wrongs me or I wrong him, I am always so relieved for an apology and resolution.

Men, this is important to women because we hate to feel things are not okay.  Also, we place a high value on being understood.  So, when someone I am dating sees how he upset me and acknowledges that, it makes me feel immediately better because he understood what hurt me. Basically, an apology is like saying "I am sorry I did not understand or show you love by _____"

Women, men need apologies because they need respect.  I know, personally, when I am apologizing, its oftentimes for being too critical, too quick to react and get upset.  Essentially I am saying "I am sorry I was so disrespectful that I _____"

No one likes a half-a** apology. No one likes to apologize all the time while the other person doesn't make an effort.  No one likes when situations are swept under the rug with no apology.

Here are a few apology tips:

1. Acknowledge what you did wrong. Don't pin it on them.

SAY: "I am sorry that I snapped at you. I was wrong to overreact."
NOT: "I am sorry you got upset over what I said."

2.  Ask forgiveness

3.  Ask how you can make it right/offer to make it right...either now or in the future.

Example:  I know I hurt you by being overly critical about this issue, I've been grumpy lately because    
 I'm tired.  Can I take a night to rest and discuss it over coffee/ice cream/dinner tomorrow?

4. Sincerety.

5. When in doubt, apologize.  Were you grumpy or inconsiderate? Just say, "hey, I was moody with you this morning and I'm sorry."

6. Have some grace.

Obviously there is a place for grace in apologies.  Sometimes people don't know you're upset or may  know that he or she upset you but want to just move on and not address it, so you have to decide if its a big enough issue that it will be hard for you to move on without bitterness.  Sometimes its not a big deal (unkind words because he/she was tired) and sometimes it is a big deal.  Sometimes, you are gracious and move on and sometimes you lovingly bring it

Part of having grace is accepting the apology and offering forgiveness.

7. Don't make one person initiate all the time.

Often times, both parties were wrong....one was inconsiderate and then the other snapped, etc.... It's frustrating if one person always initiates the apology process, so make sure that sometimes you acknowledge your sin first and seek forgiveness.  Better yet, both parties should be racing to make things right before the other one...outdo eachother in love right?

8.  Apologize....then move on.

Sometimes, an apology may require some discussion...on how things can be handled better, etc....but once you offer that forgiveness, let go of your resentment.

Recovery Weekend

Ever have one of those weeks where you could do nothing right? where it felt like it was you v. the world?
That's me, this week...It seems everyone wanted to fight with me....and although, I won't deny that I had a part in these disagreements, it seemed everywhere I turned was another person irritated...This is part of why I haven't posted a lot, because well, I had nothing too encouraging to say....

and I stubbed my toe and lost part of my toe nail (don't worry, no pics!)

But, I have calmed down somewhat... I am looking forward to some space --  a weekend of dealing with no one.  I might see friends on friday night but I hope that saturday is running, cleaning, movies, and sleeping.  Sometimes you need a people break, and honestly, they might need a break from me too.


So here is how I plan to recover from this week:

1. I am making one exception of my "need space" rule to see this cutie tonight.... Mid week, sometimes one or the other of us will  make the drive and spend the night in the other person's towns (separate bedrooms folks, don't worry.... ) If I ever needed a hug and some lazy time watching tv, its tonight! Oh and did I mention that we will both be in the same city in a month, but who's counting??? (me! I am!)

2.  I also got lunchtime kisses from this little boy ...

Jack is a great little kisser but you have to share your food. 

OK so for the recovery plan that does not include boys, here goes....

3. 15-16 mile run --- actually, I am NOT looking forward to a long run in July MS heat, BUT I feel I will get some aggression out and burn some calories...plus y'all all know my favorite part of the run is eating what I want for the rest of the day  :)

4.  SUSHI, MAYBE PIZZA or MEXICAN and a BIG BREAKFAST this wkd

5. WINE ...or skinny girl margs...

6. TV

7. BOOKS

8. organizing

9. no plans.  really, someone hold me to this. 

10. getting some artwork framed....i've had artwork in my room for months without framing. I must get it done this wkd!

136-150: Thankfulness

Continuing to count my blessings!

136. frozen meals (gross huh?, but so conveniant for the single person when you don't want to cook!)
137. knowing so many stable couples around me.  I am blessed to have friends who have been married for years and family members who have been married years. I am also blessed to know those who waited and God blessed them.  Its so easy to see the bad things about our culture like divorce, so I am glad to see some people living loving marriages.
138. My friend Paige is coming to town next weekend! She and I have been through ups and downs together so I always cherish our time together!
139. Freshly painted nails.
140.  having the house to myself
141. Sunday movies and cuddling
142. e-cards
143. a weekend with nothing planned (it used to make me so happy to see a full calendar now my heart literally leaps when I have an empty moment)
144. movies at the theater
145. cooler weather for running/biking - thank you rain!