Good Riddance 2011

Glad to see 2011 come to an end. It certainly hasn't been the hardest year of my life, but it sure as heck hasn't been the easiest.  And the last two weeks have been challenge after challenge, which snuck up on me after a great start to the month.

UPS and DOWNS...but just a difficult year. I learned a lot and grew tons...but growing is never more fun. As my roomie once told me, "Change and growth are supposed to hurt. After all, the Bible calls it a refiners fire, that doesn't sound like fun!"

Despite the several breakups - which suck even if you do the ending, the struggles at work, the constant growing in my faith (which is a fire like the Bible says), I had many blessings, my favorite two being my nephew Jack and the Auburn National Championship.

Headed out of town  for new years...so here's wishing all of us a great 2012-- full of more ups than downs and many many blessings. But, if the year holds more challenges than blessings, I pray we all know God's presence and comfort in a real way.

I am trying to decide on my 2012 life verse. My 2011 life verse turned out to be perfect!
Rom 12:12 Be Joyful in Hope, Patient in Affliction, Faithful in Prayer.

Any good ideas for a 2012 verse?

Decapitated groom?

This picture makes my day -- and when I tell you the story, it will make your day too. Despite the broken groom, this story tells how loving my baby brother is.

I got this bride and groom and a church (for the Christmas Village) the year I got engaged.  The next year, when things had ended, my mom chose not to pull the bride and groom out. When I asked about it, she said that we would pull it out again the next year...that we all needed it to stay put up that year. So the church was put out, but not the happy couple.

However, the next year, my mom looked for the couple to put it out and couldn't find it. and we could not find it the next year. We thought it was misplaced-- until this thanksgiving when a picture was texted to me in Vermont -- of a headless groom.

Apparently, sometime between the "year off" and the couple making their re-entry into our Christmas village, my brother found it and expressed some stored up anger towards the poor ceramic groom.  He then hid the decapitated groom and his bride and we finally found it.

Its a few years later, and we all found it so funny that he didn't get in trouble. Yes he destroyed a holiday decoration, but he did it in defense of his sister? So can you really be angry?  In fact, I hope we keep this couple even when we buy a new one....because its so funny and so sweet, all at the same time.

January, come quickly

I LOVE football season and I LOVE Christmas, but to be honest, I am actually happy to see both come to an end.  Life is too busy during those seasons.  And usually I hate January and February, AND I may kick myself for saying this in a few weeks when I am bored, but I can't WAIT for January to get here.

Besides a trip to New Orleans for my birthday, the month is fairly event-free. I love the idea of relaxing and getting things done for the next couple months.  I am also excited for movie nights and drinks at Fennians and dinners with friends not travelling, parties and football games. We all need a break :)

January/February goals:
1. organize closet and throw stuff out!
2. Make a fabric headboard and buy a bedframe. (My bedframe broke during moving so I literally sleep on mattresses....)
3. Pick out fabric to have new bedding made.
4. Start running again (I am going to train for another half marathon)
5. get my prints framed for my bedroom
6. organize bathroom
7. Paint a chevron rug

lazy things to do:
1. movie marathons
2. go to the movie theater
3. sleeping in on saturdays
4. wine nights with friends
5. crafts

I have one more fun filled weekend in Dallas for New Years Eve then a lovely month of doing hardly anything. Can't wait!

what are you most looking forward to in the lazy winter months? Projects? Free time? getting life back in order?

A few holiday notes.....

(1) Nothing is impossible with God  --- the author points out that this is a Christmas verse we often forget. Our salvation, Our sanctification, His provision, Healing, Forgiveness -- none of it is impossible with God.


(2) Also, isn't Jack so stinking cute? and so fat! LOVE those chunky legs.

(3) Also, if you are down this season (or even if you aren't), watch this video -- even in the midst of incredible trial, this family celebrated Christmas one last time

(4) Also, I am Christmas Party'd out. I had a bar association Christmas party last night and one last one tonight then home to Brookhaven for our annual game night/holiday get together with two other families and Christmas Eve/Christmas with our family. Its the first one with Jack so we are so excited, probably a LOT more excited than he is! 

With Christmas parties, I remind myself that this is a season. I love parties and after a few weeks recovering, I am going to miss the excitement! But towards the end of a long 4-5 wks, I am ready to spend a few nights on the couch in my pajamas!

(5) Here is the second post of the series I posted yesterday.

" Trying to bracket all we think we know about the coming of Jesus Christ, all that we have come to expect and demand, may very well help to open our eyes to the signs that Christmas has to offer. Might we have the courage to pray, really pray, that God with us might shatter our ideas and preconceptions, leaving us dazzled and more than a bit crazed? Do we have the hope to stand in the shattered ruins of our limitations? Can we pray that we might—beyond limits of what is possible for us—see the signs of Christmas, to really see them, as opportunities to notice what we may otherwise overlook, to hold what we otherwise would not touch, to love what we otherwise could not embrace? Might we not, in this way, begin to truly welcome God with us?"

A God who never comes and God's "Favor"

Check out this post on waiting for  a God who never comes.  I am excited for the author to post parts 2 and 3 of this series.

Actually read all of the guy's Advent posts. Wonderful.

And this article challenged me a lot.....Mary was favored by God, but I bet being asked to have a child out of wedlock (or so others would believe) and facing the possibility of losing her fiance and her reputation PROBABLY DIDN'T SEEM LIKE FAVOR to Mary. But she had faith because she considered God faithful! So should we!

Love, Circumstances and Worship

**for those of you sick of all my links to Advent articles, don't worry, I will have to actually write stuff starting on the 26th, rather than just linking up to better written articles.  But, I can't help posting so much about advent. The more I study it, the move I love that God gives us these 4 focuses as we WAIT for HIM: hope, peace, joy, and finally love.

This final week of advent is the week of love. Essentially it all leads up to this-- the longing, the anticipation, the peace, the joy --- it all points us to the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

If we never had anything else, if no one else loved us, that single act would be enough.  If I never get married, If I never rock my own babies, If I do get married and my husband leaves me or my boyfriend breaks up with me, If my kids rebel, If friends leave me, If family doesn't understand or abandons, that is enough. Although it doesn't feel like enough sometimes, the fact remains that Christ's first advent and his future advent is the best act of love I will ever know and the main love that matters.  Not to say the others aren't good, but it is good to remember which love is essential.

My heart aches for so many this season. I know people who have had parents divorce or they have divorced. I know families who have lost children. I certainly have plenty of friends waiting for husbands or babies. While Christmas has been mostly joyfully this year (thankfully), I have known my share of Christmases that felt empty in some shape or form.  I'm sure we have all felt that way -- grumpy kids, family who couldn't make it, single, lost a family member -- whatever life threw at us this year made it hard to focus on how much we were loved by a Savior that became man.

I know how hard it can be to remember the God who loves us and should be worship when the circumstances are tough so that is why I loved this article on Christmas Perspectives.

In this article, the author talks about her aunt who was sick yet still showed up to holidays and her uncle's sorrow the year she was gone. She also talks about her own Christmases not going as expected.

An excerpt:

I remember the difficulty of lining up my expectations with what God was actually doing, and thinking, “This isn’t good, God. How did You allow this to happen?” And it took a couple of years, I can remember, of having Christmases that were good, they were ... good, but they were tough, too, where I would tear up and then put my make-up back on and go out and be with people, because it wasn’t exactly what I expected.
I could have sat down and said, “I don’t like this, God, and I’m not going to celebrate You, which is really an awful thought of self-pity—on Christmas day? That’s ridiculous!” Or I could say, “Why has God allowed this opportunity issue in my life? Could it be to turn my focus outward?”
I had never realized how many other people were in the same situation on Christmas day. There were plenty of people who found themselves alone for whatever reason, and it gave me an opportunity to think through, “What could God want with this, what could He be directing my gaze to?”


If God is love (as we know He is), then every circumstances is lovingly allowed by Him and can point us to Him. That is most important to realize this holiday season.  What we were waiting for was His coming and saving us, and Christmas, particular this week, is a focus on that act of love coming to fruition...in its first stages. Also it challenged me to love on others who are hurting just as Christ loved me....because He was born, died, resurrected and sees me through each day- good and bad, then I am able to love others. In the interview she linked in her article, the author discusses using her hard Christmases to remind her to reach out to others (by throwing a Christmas brunch)

Loving others who are hurting and not just thinking of our own pain, now there's an amazing thought. Although I have reached out to some this season, not nearly enough....I will be thinking through the year, How can I focus on God's love and not my circumstances during advent? And how can I love others as well?

Advent: improper waiting

Love this post on how to wait during advent. I will for sure be reading that blog from now on. I love the portion of her post that talks about waiting improperly...My main struggle is waiting hopelessly -- believing that God won't provide, won't sustain, and won't be faithful.  I think we often times think He can't be trusted with our hearts, heartache, longings, prayers- but in truth, He is the only person that can be trusted.

As advent comes to its final week, I want to focus my attention just on waiting for Christ. The entire season reminds us to wait not only on Him, not only His return, but also His faithfulness in present times, but as Christmas day nears, I want to focus on how amazing it is that He came once and will come again --- that all that waiting by His people must have been discouraging, but then He came (quietly, with no big ordeal made) -- and while we wait, in pain, angst, SIN, He will come again. Let us wait on Him, and say "Come, Lord Jesus."

I wait impatiently, because the waiting is really only about obtaining my desire, so naturally I am angry and irritated when it does not happen.

I wait dishonestly, because in order to be angry and irritated about the desire not manifesting, I have to consciously ignore all the amazing blessings, undeserved kindness, and incredible favor the Lord has showered over me in the past year.


I wait with shriveled faith, because my God has become dependent on the gifts he gives, not on the fact that He is the great giver worth pursuing over any thing I could possibly receive.

I wait with shriveled trust, because I put more stock in my own logic and human projections that say, “Look at the facts, Dan. It ain’t gonna happen,” instead of a God that is above science, above circumstances, and loves me more than I could possibly fathom.

I wait hopelessly, for I start to convince myself that though God can do anything for me, he doesn’t want to do anything for me; like he is a stingy, car salesman father who takes some sick satisfaction in withholding.

And I wait selfishly, because when the heartbreaking reality of my own waiting dominates every thought this Christmas season, it automatically means that it’s ME that dominates every thought this Christmas season, not others around me who may be hurting and in need of care and comfort during this difficult time of year.

This year, I want Advent to teach me what it really means to wait humbly for the coming of the Lord. To celebrate His Kingdom come. To get beyond the toys and trappings and twinkling ornamentation that will be piled up at a garage sale five years from now. I want to wait patiently, rightly, boldly; with faith, hope, and eyes wide open to see those who suffer. This Christmas, I want to fall to my knees in trembling anticipation of meeting in the bruised, bare, and bleeding core of my heart the Son of God, Jesus Christ. He who was born in a manger, who lived a perfect life, who served the lost and broken and outcast, he who came to save the world.

Santa and Joy

First of all, even if you aren't a fan of santa, aren't you a fan of this little guy? So stinking cute!



Secondly, feel free to give yourself permission to have Joy this holiday season.

Also, check out this advent guide  my friend Alexandria sent me from Village Church in Dallas. I have no idea how she got ahold of it but its great. Its a family weekly guide for 5 weeks but I read through half of it last night and its great. I love that churches, even non traditional churches, are celebrating advent....and encouraging families to do so. I plan on celebrating advent with my family one day.

Finally, this doesn't have tons to do with the JOY week of advent, but a friend of mine read this quote (while celebrating advent) and shared it with me. I love it:

"When we demand satisfaction of one another, when we demand any completion to history on our terms, when we demand that our anxiety or any dissatisfaction be taken away, saying as it were, 'Why weren't you this for me? Why didn't life do that for me?' we are refusing to say 'Come, Lord Jesus.' We are refusing to hold out for the full picture that is always given by God."

-Richard Rohr
 
I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday/weekend. I plan on taking a break from being outgoing and doing some of the Christmas activities I have yet to do because of parties and work -- wrap presents, make holiday candy, mail cards....all while watching a Christmas movie! 

The Pink Candle: Be Joyful

I loved this article on God's gift of Joy during advent....Here is an excerpt:

 Advent is a time in which we must make ourselves open to being humbled, to feeling our own limits. Three purple candles: three Sundays, one still to come, of serious humbling, of waiting.



But this is the interesting thing: God knows this is difficult.  He knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. And so, we celebrate the third Sunday—the “joyful” Sunday—with a pink, celebratory candle.......I think of this as God’s way of reminding us that we are not just slogging through a miserable existence because he asks us to. He wishes us to find joy here, now, as a taste of what we can expect—as a reminder of what we’re waiting for.


This is the beauty of the rose candle. It is a beauty that reminds us that even when we are to be repenting, even when we must feel the limitations of our humanity, there is something bigger under us, holding us up, holding all things together. I’ve come to believe that we can only experience joy—we can only smile, and celebrate—when we know that the good things are a gift from the one who sees the bad and still tells us, rest, delight, be joyful.



He wishes us to find Joy now.  We wait for Joy and rightfully so, because nothing in this earth will ever make us fully contended. We long for His return, and even daily we long for our circumstances to change. We long for healing or the return of loved ones. But, the pink candle reminds us that there is JOY to be had now, there is living in the waiting.  So while we spend this season reflecting, hoping, praying, repenting, longing, Let us also spend it enjoying all the many blessings the Lord has given us!

Advent: Fighting for Joy

This weeek on advent focuses on JOY (the pink candle) which I know can be a hard thing for a lot of people this time of year. Although my Christmas season is mostly full of blessings, I have even had a a few down moments....

So, how do we hold on to Joy - when the world seems to be falling apart? (I feel totally unqualified to answer this question since I know my dissapointments, my bad days deal with work and relationships and family -- not death or sickness or divorce. In no way do I want to sound condescending.."Just have Joy."..but I do know that there are some things we can do to have Joy....at Christmas and other times of the year.

1. Count your blessings

I try to remind myself daily of my blessings. (Today my blessing is that my Jack Attack is coming to MS today for the holidays, love that baby boy!) The truth is as we count our blessings, we can see that our lives - though painful they may be - aren't empty of all goodness.  I've come to find that some of my toughest years are sprinkled with some of my favorite moments, memories, blessings. Rarely is life all good or all bad.

2. Remember God's past faithfulness.

The Lord has been faithful and He will be again. How quickly we forget His provision.  Focusing on what He has done reminds us that He can and will do good things in our lives, in our circumstances.

3. Rely on His timing.

Psalm 30 tells us that weeping may last for a night, but Joy comes in the morning.  We fight for joy during hard times, but at a certain point in time, we see His faithfulness and provision and Joy comes.  Don't give up too quickly. He makes all things beautiful in His time.

4. Take a time out.

Especially in the holidays, take a moment away if you need to. Skip a party and take time to pray, read scripture, sleep, cry, etc. I think we get so busy trying to be happy or trying to survive, that we forget to take a moment and grieve what we need to grieve and run to the arms of our Savior. Joy doesn't require happiness at every moment and Joy certainly isn't something you achieve on your own, so run to Christ, tell him your hurts, admit your struggle for Joy.  There is no better person to be honest with about your heartache. There is no better person to seek Joy from. When I lack Joy the most is when I feel I have to try to appear happy the most.  Instead, be honest that life hurts and ask for Joy DESPITE those circumstances (rather than Joy pretending those circumstances don't exist)

5. Praise and Worship

Count your blessings, remember Christ's faithfulness - and praise Him.  Worship quickly reminds us the Lord is in charge, He has done good things for us, and He is worthy to be praised.

6. Focus on others.

Concern for others helps take our focus off ourselves.

7. Ask. and ask some more.

The Bible verse famously says we should ask and it will be given to us, seek and we will find, knock and the door will be opened...notice how after asking, the person didn't give up? He increased his requests with more intensity -- he asked, then he sought, then he knocked.  Struggling with Joy? ask the Lord and don't quit asking.

8. Think on what is lovely.

I already mentioned counting blessings and remembering God's provision, but thinking on what's lovely includes a happy Christmas movie or song, remembering a funny joke from lunch, an inspirational quote, and encouraging word.  Think on things that make you happy -- happiness may not equal Joy, but remembering good things in your live helps cultivate a Joyful spirit.

9. Remember, its just one holiday & 10. The gospel remains true despite our circumstances.

It may not be the best holiday season or the best year. Your life story may not be a hallmark movie this year....but not every year will be this hard, not every holiday will be this hard.  Also, praise God that the gospel remains true whether we feel Joy or not. You may struggle to praise and worship Him for His birth this season, but it makes His birth, life, death and resurrection no less significant.  In fact, when we struggle the most to appreciate the significance of Christmas is when we need it the most.

My heart breaks for those suffering this holiday season. I remember my first Christmas after my wedding was called off. I remember my sweet family trying to make it a huge ordeal and being incredibly cheerful and having champagne and bending over backwards...and you know what? it still sucked..nothing was going to make it great (although there were good moments) No doubt about it, the worst Christmas of my life (thus far).  At some moments that holiday season, I fought for Joy -- tried to enjoy the holidays despite my circumstances, tried to laugh and do the "things" I had always done. (first round of law school finals didn't help me fight for Joy though haha) and sometimes I just gave in and was grumpy and ungrateful.  But, I know this to be true: Christmas meant something different to me than ever before. I had never felt alone on the holidays (although I truthfully wasn't alone), I had never felt so hurt and I had never before struggled to celebrate Christ's birth ...YET that was the year that his birth meant the most to me.  I didn't quit hurting, but I was aware that I had a Savior who gave up a throne to come to a sinful hurtful world and die so that I did not have to hurt for eternity.  If nothing else gives you Joy this holiday season, let that give you Joy, let that reality hit home....this pain is not forever...because there was a first Christmas, this lonely or hard Christmas is not forever...weeping may last for the night, but Joy really will come in the morning.

Practice what you preach

So far, I have been sharing about advent from the perspective of I learned about advent last year...and even from the perspective of I am learning these things this year, but so far its been pretty easy to practice what I preach. So I am haven't been speaking from the trenches, from the battlefields of holiday dissapointment and fighting for joy. So far having joy and hope this season has been immensely easy.

But this past weekend was discouraging for several reasons (mostly the fact that I was exhausted)...and unlike my previous advent posts, yesterday's post wasn't directed at encouraging others, it was directed at encouraging me. I needed the reminder that Immanuel means God is with me and is concerned about me and the small details of my life. I needed the reminder that hope is not silly. I needed the reminder that when exhausted or dissapointed or confused, Christ is right there with me.  That fact alone gives me hope.

Last night I was praying before bed and realized this is where the rubber hits the road, where I practice what I preach....Do I believe that the Lord is with me when the holiday seems overwhelming with parties, little sleep, letdowns, irritations with friends, disspointments in dating? Do I believe the Lord is soverign when things don't seem perfect?  Do I still believe the Lord can be trusted and we can have hope even when the holiday season, a relationship, a friendship, family, job,  circumstances, etc have let me down?

We weren't meant to have Hope and Peace when then things are perfect, Hope and Peace (during advent and year-round) are meant to sustain us when things aren't perfect.

I'm willing to bet I am not the only person feeling let down by the holiday season..there are those feeling overwhelmed by shopping, dreading family time, annoyed by shopping with a screaming 2 year old, feeling alone in a new town, dealing with sick family member, longing for a baby, etc.  But, at this time, more than ever, we are supposed to hope...when the world laughs at us for doing so, for believing that circumstances get better or atleast will be redeemed, for believing in healing and provision, for believing that waiting on God is a good thing.  It's okay, we know the ending....we know that He is coming, both in the present and in the future.

Immanuel (God with us) and what it means now

Feeling a bit discouraged this holiday season? (or anytime of the year?) Check out this article on Immanuel

I read it last year and I read it throughout the year but especially at Christmas on moments when I forget how much the Lord must love us to send his son.  Our Lord knows suffering and he is there with us in our suffering.  I tend to focus on Christ's second advent and how it affects me eternally --- Christ's return will usher in an eternity with Him.  But, I should also focus on how Christ's first advent affects me in the here and now.  How while we live on this earth, suffering fear, abandonment, grief, anger, heartache, we have a Savior who understands.... and hurts with us...because He was one of us....

an excerpt from that article....

"We can begin to assume that God isn’t interested in the light and momentary affliction we face.  We tell ourselves that He is not the kind of God that would be concerned with the details of our suffering.

And we would be wrong.

Jesus – in whom the fullness of God is pleased to dwell – wrapped Himself in skin and suffered like me and you so that in our worst pain and moments of suffering we would know the truth.  God doesn’t scoff at the smallness of our pain.  God meets us in the intimate details of our pain.  God is with us even in the smallest hurts.

In our deepest pain, lies creep in and lead us to turn away from the only source of comfort.  We listen to the whisper that God does not understand the pain of abandonment or rejection; that He is frustrated with our pathetic inability to trust in the bigger picture;  God can’t possibly know what it feels like to be tempted to doubt His goodness in lonely nights or when tragedy strikes.

And Christmas is the evidence that these whispers are lies.  Christmas is the great glowing ebeneezer that reminds us we don’t have a God who wants us to just ‘get over it’.  We have a God who understands how rough this world can be because He lived it.

We have a God who came down and suffered with us.  Our God is the only being who never had to suffer; He’s the only person who never had to experience any pain, and yet He willingly endured the most horrific pain imaginable.  Why? So that in the moments when we are most tempted to despair in the face of our suffering we can go to Him, messy and broken and confident that He can help.

We have a high priest who understands because He too has endured suffering.  He knows about lonely painful nights.  He knows about losing loved ones.  He knows about being rejected and abandoned and forsaken.  He knows about the moments when you look around and everything seems to be going wrong.  He knows about faces flung heavenward, begging for another way.  He knows about the weight of suffering.  Look to the Cross; He knows."

Or as CS Lewis said in the Chronicles of Narnia:

"But please, please - won't you - can't you give me something that will cure Mother?"

Up till then he had been looking at the Lion's great feet and the huge claws on them; now, in his despair, he looked up at its face. What he saw surprised him as much as anything in his whole life. For the tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion's eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory's own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his Mother than he was himself. 

SO, while struggling, while hurting, while striving to get through each day,remember Christ's birth and what it means both eternally and in the present.  We will suffer, we will hurt, but as we do, He not only understands, He hurts with us. 

How Advent Saved Christmas and Mistletoga

READ ABOUT How advent saved Christmas

And, since I have been SO SERIOUS lately, sharing only articles and thoughts on advent, I wanted to share a couple pictures from last year's mistletoga...its one of MY FAVORITE parties of the year and its tonight!  I am lazy so I am wearing the same toga this year, just editing it a little bit :)

Christmas is about Christ, first and foremost, and I don't like how commercial it is, but I do think that celebrating good times with friends and family is a must. I am grateful for the men and women (especially my amazing girl friends!) that the Lord has blessed me with here in Jackson. They make life more fun and they hold me accountable.

So Happy Friday All, wish everyone was in town to come to Mistletoga.

Advent: watching (preparation)

Many people focus on preparation for advent during week 2. Waiting is watching and preparing. Waiting is moving forward, not sitting paralyzed.  We prepare for the Lord's birth, we prepare for God's answers and provision in our lives. We prepare ourselves for His return.


That is why I really enjoyed this article on watching and waiting from Intervarsity (a campus ministry).


Here's a portion of this article that hit home for me:

So – how to watch well?



•Being prepared. The women of the parable of the 5 wise and 5 foolish virgins (Matt 25) show us the importance of being prepared. The five wise virgins have enough oil to get them through the night. When the bridegroom arrives, they can arise, trim their lamps, and go out to meet him. As you wait, what “oil” do you need to stock up on to make it to the end?


•Expectancy vs. expectations. If we let them, our expectations might cause us to miss the very thing we are watching for! Our expectations make us believe that things can only happen in one way. When that doesn’t happen, we are disappointed. But chances are, we were looking in the wrong direction. Living in expectancy means that we believe that God will act, but we know that his action might come in a surprising way, so we are open to whatever it is that comes – not just what we expect. After all, who expected that God would show up as a helpless baby?


•Watch out! Be on your guard! As we wait, there will be things that come our way that we were not looking for, don’t need, and are not good for us. Jesus tells his disciples to “Watch out for the [teaching] of the Pharisees and Sadducees” (Matt 16). We will hear things that are not true, things that are lies. We need to be prepared to reject those things! A lie we are especially susceptible to when we are waiting is the lie, “God doesn’t really love you.” Waiting for long periods of time tempts us to doubt that God does care for us. As you wait, be assured that God does love you and will fulfill his promises to you!


•Keep doing what you’re doing. It might be tempting to drop every thing, press your face to the window, and gaze into the distance waiting for that promise to arrive. You might be tempted to talk about nothing else. Every waking moment, every thought and effort, we may believe, needs to be devoted to the coming fulfillment. But it turns out that waiting and watching well most often means continuing to do what we were already doing. The shepherds were “keeping watch over their flocks by night” – that is, they were doing their job. Peter and Andrew, James and John were fishing when the call came. This is God’s modus operandi: He shows up in the mundane, the everyday, the unspectacular. Doing what you’re already doing – writing papers, waiting tables, going to class, feeding the baby, washing dishes – a whole host of boring, everyday tasks – could very well be the place where God shows up. Are you watching for him?

Isn't this true in life? That God often shows up in a way we don't expect??? at a time we don't expect?  I've had friends wait and long for a baby and then end up having one when they least expected to, or they adopted. I've known a couple different people who had plans for ministry that were changed...they still ended up in ministry but in a different group or on a different mission field.  God showed up, but not how they expected. But what they were called to do in the meantime is the same thing God calls us to do--- while we wait for Him to show up NOW and FOREVER, keep doing what weare doing. I love that the author says God shows up in the mundane.  Keep studying, keep working, keep worshiping, keep hanging out with friends, keep being involved in ministry, keep changing diapers, just keep doing.

Another Bonhoeffer quote

Celebrating Advent means being able to wait. Waiting is the art that our impatient age has forgotten. It wants to break open the ripe fruit when it has hardly finished planting the shoot. But all too often the greedy eyes are only deceived; the fruit that seemed so precious is still green on the inside, and disrespectful hands ungratefully toss aside what has so disappointed them. Whoever does not know the austere blessedness of waiting -- that is, of hopefully doing without -- will never experience the full blessing of fulfillment.


Dietrich Bonhoeffer (from prison)

Advent: PEACE

Read this wonderful little post: Advent: Finding Joy in Waiting


This week of advent is focused on peace (and preparation) -- this author makes the wonderful point that PEACE isn't not having troubles, but knowing God's presence during those trials. So while we wait for the Lord's return, we will know trials and we will wait, but during the waiting, we are granted HIS PRESENCE.


From the article:

"Advent also reminds us that though waiting is done on our end, the appearing is His part. Many of us are waiting on God in different areas of our lives. Advent reminds us that He has a history of appearing. Yes, He appeared in Bethlehem more than 2,000 years ago, but He also appeared in your life and mine when we were in need.....He has come, and He is here… with you… with me. And no matter what we are waiting on — employment, healing, direction, money, a spouse, or your first child — He will surely come and deliver the need. He will advent. In the meantime, we wait in peace, because peace isn’t the absence of trouble, but rather the presence of God. We wait in faith. We wait in joyful expectation of Him."

A prayer of hope at Christmas

For those who need hope  this Christmas or at other times of the year.... I read this prayer and thought of so many I know who need hope right now...those who have lost family members this year, who have faced sickness, who have endured heartache.  Such a beautiful prayer of feelings we have all had before.

Bonhoeffer on Christmas

First off, I love a good romance-- not cheesy romantic comedy love but real deep down put someone else's needs before yourself, concerned with their feelings, honest with eachother type of romance...and thats why I love this quote about Christmas that Bonhoeffer wrote to his wife from prison...because it expresses his concern for her and discusses the pain of being separated from her...but lovelingly points her to the gospel. God is there..in the manger...even in the bad circumstances.

"Be brave, my dearest Maria, even if this letter is your only token of my love this Christmas-tide. We shall both experience a few dark hours -- why should we disguise that from each other? We shall ponder the incomprehensibility of our lot and be assailed by the question of why, over and above the darkness already enshrouding humanity. We are being subjected to the bitter anguish of a separation whose purpose we fail to understand. And then, just when everything is bearing down on us to such an extent that we can scarcely withstand it, the Christmas message comes to tell us that our ideas are wrong, and that what we take to be evil and dark is really good and light because it comes from God. Our eyes are at fault, that is all. God is in the manger."

Favorite line: And then, just when everything is bearing down on us to such an extent that we can scarcely withstand it, the Christmas message comes to tell us that our ideas are wrong, and that what we take to be evil and dark is really good and light because it comes from God. Our eyes are at fault, that is all. God is in the manger.

You're not alone.

I know that I am focusing on Advent the next few weeks, and I plan on sharing more of what I've read about advent, but today I wanted to share the lyrics to this song my Meredith Andrews (which by the way, is only 69 cents on itunes...)

I was listening to a country Pandora station and this song (which isn't country)  came on...so I shouldn't have heard it but I know the Lord meant for me to hear it.  I immediately downloaded it and shared it with a few friends. This year has been a long hard year for many-- due to problems with family, work, relationships, death, etc...  I hope these words encourage you as much as they do me.

"You're not Alone" by Meredith Andrews

I search for love,

When the night came,
And it closed in,

I was alone,

But you found me,

Where I was hiding,

And now I'll never ever be same,

It was the sweetest voice,

That called my name saying

You're not alone,

For I am here,

Let me wipe away your every fear,

My love I've never left your side,

I have seen you through the darkest night,

And I'm the one that who's loved you all your life,

All of your life

You cry your self to sleep,

Cause the hurt is real,

And the pain cuts deep,

All hope seems lost,

With heart ache your closest friend,

And everyone else long gone,

You've had to face the music on your own,

But there is a sweeter song that calls you home

saying...

You're not alone,

For I am here,

Let me wipe away your every tear,

My love I've never left your side,

I have seen you through the darkest nights,

And I'm the one who's love you all your life,

All your life

Faithful and true... Forever, For my love will carry you...

You're not alone,

For I am here,

Let me wipe away your every fear...

My love I've never left your side,

I have seen you through your darkest night,

Your darkest nights,

And I'm the one that's loved you all your life,
All of your life

ADVENT: ANTICIPATION

In case you haven't noticed, I am focusing on advent. And this week, the candle lit was the candle of hope or anticipation....

"........anticipations are never meant to serve as ends in themselves. They are intended to nurture and expand our God-given anticipatory capacities so that we will anticipate something greater: secondary anticipations are designed by God to point to the primary anticipation.

To borrow a thought from John Piper, the weakness of our anticipation for Christ’s return is not because it is uneventful or unimportant. It’s because we keep ourselves stuffed with smaller anticipations. As C.S. Lewis said, “We are far too easily pleased.” A friends wedding, a football game, and the arrival of out-of-town guests will never fulfill our deepest anticipations. These are shadow like anticipations; Christ is the substance. These are stream-like anticipations; Christ is the ocean. These are beam like anticipations; Christ is the sun.

So the next time you find yourself anticipating everything from a good meal to a good vacation, take a moment to trace that anticipation to its end: Jesus. This is what Advent is meant to do. Anticipating Jesus fulfills every other anticipation because the arrival of anticipated weddings and football games cannot change a human heart; they can’t take away our guilt and cleanse our conscience; they cannot make all things new. Only Christ can do these things."

I think this is why I love advent.  Our anticipation, longing and waiting is used to point us to what we are longing most for and what can fulfill every other anticipation we have.

Hope: the first candle.

I loved this article on the first candle of advent being hope

The lady in the story was struggling with impatience  and asked the monk what to do.....and the monk told her to cultivate hope.

"She told us she’d found this startling—she’d expected to be told she needed to cultivate patience. But hope? Yes: her impatience was an indicator that she had given up hope for change. And what that really meant was she’d given up believing that God would actually do what he’d said he’d do. Which, when you think about it, is a pretty dangerous attitude. One most of us indulge in daily."

Yes, we have troubles.  "But we exult in them, knowing that at the end of them is hope, and therefore we can hope too, because hope does not disappoint. Without that first hope candle, the rest—the peace, the love, the joy—they’re not coming."

I love how advent/waiting starts out with hope - hope in the Lord's birth, hope in His second coming, hope in His provision and hope that He will do what He said He will do.

The cure to impatience is not merely growing our patience but hope in the one who was patient with us.

Advent

I love advent. I relate to advent, in fact we all can, not just because of our Savior's birth at the end of advent but because of the anticipation, waiting, and hope that is a part of advent. No other holiday seems to focus on waiting as much as Christmas...from the purely secular reasons (waiting for presents), to waiting for our Savior,  to waiting for family or even waiting for a new year. (I also think that its very fitting a new year comes after waiting for Christmas).

Through church advent wreaths or devotionals or even calendars with candy inside, each day, we are a little close to Jesus coming, each day, more hope. I love that. I love that while in our lives, waiting for the perfect job, spouse, children may seem futile at times, waiting on the Lord-- for his birth, arrival, and provisions (even if not in the way we anticipate) is not futile. Where waiting can seem stressful and painful in our daily circumstances (just ask my sister who carried a baby to almost 42 weeks), waiting at Christmas is hopeful and reminds us that waiting is an essential part of worship.  Last year I used Christmas as a time not only to celebrate Christ's birth (and eventual saving of His people), but also to celebrate how the Lord uses waiting to bring about His purposes- both on earth and eternally.  I plan on focusing on waiting this Christmas also, and I will share some of the articles and verses I find on advent.

Check out this article on Celebrating the Waiting.

My favorite line from the article: Advent is a proclamation of the Gospel through the discipline of waiting.

A week in pictures

This week I went to see my sister, brother in law and favorite (only) nephew Jack in Vermont. My friend Paige came along too. 

Paige, Jack and I in the snow.

 First taste of ice cream on the Ben and Jerrys tour.

 Snuggling on the couch while it snows outside...

 at the von trapp lodge by his first fire.

 First ornament

vermont views. 

 Aunt KK brought him a reindeer outfit

 Jack's first snow

in front of the von trapp lodge....

10 things to be thankful for

10 things I am thankful for.....

1. Family. I could not imagine growing up an only child. What is a home like if there aren't people talking over eachother and constant chaos. My siblings and I have eachother's backs and my parents raised us to know Jesus since before I can remember knowing Jesus. Not a day went by without the gospel shared.

 I am particularly thankful for Jack Attack, the newest member of the family.

2. Friends. Life is simply better with a loving, fun and supportive community.

3. Democracy and freedom. I get so tired of attacks on our country by people who live here. There are things we need to improve, but let us not forget that this is the greatest form of government the world has seen. And, it is also fitting to be thankful for America on a holiday founded by some of the first settlers.

4. All the pleasent small things the Lord blesses us with that simply just make life more fun: College Football, Holidays, First Kisses, ice cream, cozy fires, Peonies, bright colors, the beach.

5. The Gospel, the Reformation, and grace that I don't deserve.

6. Daily Bread --- I recently read this article about praying for our "daily bread" -- we remember to pray for rain during the drought, but not during the rainy season? I am thankful for and should pray more for my daily provisions of food, shelter, medicine...

7. Trials. I cringed as I typed that...why would I ever thank God for the bad?  Because he is the great planner and even in the difficult times, he has a plan to use and redeem them...and my trials are His good.  I bet the Lord's "good" is better than my good, no matter how painful that can seem at times...I love this Piper quote:

God will not turn away from doing you good. He will keep on doing good. He doesn't do good to His children sometimes and bad to them other times. He keeps on doing good and He never will stop doing good for ten thousand ages of ages. When things are going bad that does not mean God has stopped doing good. It means He is shifting things around to get them in place for more good, if you will go on loving Him. - JOHN PIPER

8. I also am thankful that the Lord doesn't let me have my way. I don't always live like I am grateful for that, but I am. Truth is, If given the choice between the Lord's harder road and my easier road, I would ALWAYS choose my easier plan...this is why I am glad He does what's best for me, not what's easiest.  Unlike a parent that gives in to a screaming child and gives him ice cream before dinner, the Lord holds true to His plans and is not swayed by me.

9. I am thankful for God's heart for the least of these-- for orphans, widows, brokenhearted, disabled, young, old, addicted...because if we are honest, we are all "least of these" and so seemingly unlovable yet He loves us. Also, I pray he gives me the same love he has for these so that I may love others well too.

10. I am thankful for the husband and family God has for me. I am thankful for the life plans and job paths he has ordained. I am thankful for the ways He will answer our prayers, even though we have yet to see the answers. I am thankful that the relationships, job opportunities, etc that failed did because God has plans for me that I yet to know.  I recently read that we should thank God for answers before we receive them, trusting that He has answers and plans in His timing. When we pray with angst, we are doubting, but when we pray with a thankful heart, hope and belief He can and will provide, we are trusting Him.

 Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

Vermont

Heading to vermont to see this little boogar, so you may not see me much. Happy thanksgiving to everyone....Remember our many blessings and that even in trials, our God is faithful and by our side.



FOR THE BEAUTY OF THE EARTH

I ALWAYS think of this as a thanksgiving hymn (Is it? I don't know). The song is entirely a praise song, offering God "grateful praise" for many different blessings.  I highlighted my favorite two verses- praising for family and friends and the church....my biggest blessings.

For the beauty of the earth,
For the glory of the skies;
For the love which from our birth,
Over and around us lies;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the wonder of each hour,
Of the day and of the night;
Hill and vale and tree and flow'r,
Sun and moon, and stars of light;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of ear and eye,
For the heart and mind's delight;
For the mystic harmony,
Linking sense to sound and sight;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child;
Friends on Earth and friends above,
For all gentle thoughts and mild;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For Thy church that evermore,
Lifteth holy hands above;
Off'ring up on ev'ry shore,
Her pure sacrifice of love;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For the martyrs crown of light,
For Thy prophets eagle eye,
For Thy bold confessors might,
For the lips of infancy.
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For Thy virgins robes of snow,
For Thy maiden mother mild,
For Thyself, with hearts aglow,
Jesu, Victim undefiled.
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

For Thyself, best Gift Divine,
To the world so freely given,
For that great, great love of Thine,
Peace on earth and joy in heaven.
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

Thursday Notes

First, best news of all: next week I get to see Jack and my sister and brother in law. My friend Paige and I are flying to Vermont monday to spend the holiday up there.  I can't wait to hang out with my favorite baby boy. (I hate when mothers are obnoxious about their own kids, but I worry how I will be, because lets be honest, I'm pretty obnoxious about Jack Attack, and he's not even my son.  So who knows how much I am going to make everyone listen to me drone on and on about my babies? Ha, hopefully, I'll keep myself in check.) I'm pretty in love with the little boogar though and am super excited to give him his first ornament and celebrate his first major holiday with him.

Here's a pic of me meeting Jack for the first time...



Other tidbits:

 Marley and I have decided to do a Thanksgiving brunch since we have dinner plans with some families from her church plant. Any suggestion on holiday brunch food? We would love ideas. So far our ideas include Mimosas and pumpkin waffles/pancakes....

Also, I was sharing some quotes with a friend today and thought I would share with y'all. I am not very eloquent and I can be wordy (d*mn ADD) so I love quotes because they say something so profound in so few words. Here you go....

"Don't complain as if you've been singled out for particular suffering.What you're experiencing is uncomfortable, transforming grace."  - Paul Tripp

"By His wisdom, he orders his delays so that they prove to be far better than our hurries."  - Spurgeon

"If it was God's will to bruise His own Son, why should it not be His will to bruise you?"  - Oswald Chambers

Finally, read this article on motherhood.  I thought it was great. I get so tired of moms fighting over breastfeeding, natural birth, teaching methods, parenting methods, diapers, etc! Its great to have an opinion on these things, but the true mark of a good mom is if she loves Jesus well and in turn, teaches her child to love Jesus well. I know its easy to say I won't fight about these things now, because I don't have a child yet so I don't feel things so strongly yet, BUT I hope that watching mothers - those that do obsess over silly details and those that don't- teaches me to remember whats most important. Then, whatever personal decisions I make will be secondary.

Thankfulness

To be honest, the past 6 weeks have been....well, tough. They have included a breakup (although even at the time, I was somewhat grateful for that, but even so, things ending are rarely fun), stresses at work, a friend moving, church drama and trying to decide if I am going to go elsewhere, and finding out a boy I really cared for last year (who left me because he was in love with his ex still) is finally over her and dating again (ain't timing a b*tch? we can't redo this but if we could, I would meet him now at the right time when there wasn't too much water under the bridge)  Each of these items may seem small, but pile them together and tons of stress!
 
So, as thanksgiving comes around, in some ways, I don't feel like thanking God. in some ways, being thankful this year has been a struggle. A year ago, I was praying the same prayers...Lord show me your will. Lord provide clarity on what I should do with my life. Lord provide healing in this relationship. Lord show me if I should live here or there. Lord bring me a godly man. And, a year later, no answers, still waiting... but even when we don't feel like thanking God, we should, and not only should we (out of obediance), we should strive to see the MANY MANY MANY reasons we have to be thankful.
 
And yet in some ways, I do feel like praising and thanking him. In some ways, its easy.  2010-2011, even with all its hard moments has included some of the BEST moments of my life (Jack being born, Auburn NC). And, what is more, I have seen  the Lord's provision on a daily basis. I do not think I have clung to the Lord and tried so hard to trust Him (asking him to make my heart trust and have faith) in any year past like I have this year. For that, I am thankful....  It's hard to be thankful for the process, but I am thankful for the result...so, I am thankful.
 
So, although things don't seem different this year, I am different. I have changed - and it only occured through pain and broken relationships and stress at church and constantly having to turn to my Savior to get me through. That is worth being thankful for.  Later this week, I plan on doing a post on my thanksgiving blessings and on that list, I am including some of the bad too. Because whether or not it was easy, every circumstance was God's will and His provision. And every circumstances served a purpose in refining me.
 
I saw this on Facebook today and I had to share:
 
"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places."  Habakkuk 3:17-19
 
Even when it appears we don't have much to thank Him for, we do. . Despite what appears to be lacking in our lives, we have a God who is our strength, comfort and peace. Let us thank Him and rejoice in Him this coming week.

Trusting

I love Fabs Harford's blog.  If you haven't ever read her stuff, do it today, you will love her honesty..She seems to say what I know we are all thinking.  I loved her recent article.

She talked about how she thought she "let go of" a situation and gave it to God because she quit wanting it so much, quit praying so desperately.  Essentially, she convinced herself that she didn't want what she wanted....

The she said,

I think one of the truths I’m learning through all this is that trusting God doesn’t mean you don’t hurt.  On the contrary, I think trusting God means you are not afraid to hurt.  I think trusting God means you can beg boldly with all the emotion in your heart without holding anything back.


You can tell if something is an idol when you pray for it with ultimatums and anger.  You can also tell if something is an idol when you don’t pray for it with all the emotion you feel.  You hold hopes unspoken in your heart in the name of ‘faith’ out of a desire to protect yourself from disappointment.  I couldn’t pray boldly because I didn’t want to get my hopes up.  I would be too devastated if God failed me

In reality, she had held on to that desire and was convinced God could do nothing about it.  She refused to bring her heart and all of its hurts and longings before the God who made it. When she was finally honest and came before God with her real prayers and real desires, she said...

There are no corners left for me to govern.  I can’t manage my expectations.  I can’t try to get ahead of whatever might be round the corner.  Trusting God means walking through pain and emotion without fear.

This article is so true of most people in so many stages of life. We alternate between extreme hope that God will answer yes, and he better do it or else...or we decide that if we really trust God, we will quit asking, quit praying, just take whats given, refusing to beleive He can change our circumstances and answer our prayers. Both are wrong. We should be somewhere in the middle, honest, vulnerable even pathetically hopeful with our desires, lying them before the feet of the only one who can answer....yet choosing to worship Him whether that answer be Yes or No.

I jump from one extreme to the other, but rarely am at the middle ground. Today, I pray I trust God enough to surrender, yet enough to hope. Both are essential parts of faith in Him and His provision. And, yes, trusting may mean hurting- longing - waiting, but if you trust God, you trust that He knows how to answer and that laying your heart before him will not be in vain.  Do you trust God in the hurt? Do you trust God enough to hurt?

Monday Funday

You all know its true....... :) just a little monday humor. 

Friday Thoughts

Not much to say today except its been a LONG week and long weeks when you are single can sometimes suck.....because it feels your daily battle are only your own.  But, its all perspective, I guess, because as much as I wanted to have someone to come home to last night, I also realized I didn't have to go home and cook for anyone, change diapers, get anyone ready for bed...instead, I made myself dinner, watched TV, chatted with a friend and went to bed early.  And, I have the blessing of spending saturday in Starkville with friends this weekend, cheering AGAINST alabama (note: not for MSU)

ALSO, I was cleaning out my email and discovered this quote I had saved, reading it again made me smile.  It's true that waiting, trusting and surrendering all go together -- I so many times just hope or just surrender, but there is a unique balance of giving ourselves, our requests and our lives to God, trusting Him to decide whats best yet hoping that he provides what we ask.... there is a balance between hoping and trusting, and I am always trying to find that balance. Anyways, here's the quote - it was too good not to share:

To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life. So is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our imaginings. So, too, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life, trusting that God moulds us according to God's love and not according to our fear. The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control.

Henri J. M. Nouwen

DAY 8: Places I've been

Back to the "days" thing...it may take a couple months to get through these, but I am a cheeseball and its fun....I love travelling, although the more and more I feel settled here in Jackson, the less need I have for adventure. It seems I would rather be here or at a ballgame.  Travelling is exhausting.  I hope my next trip is to Asia or the middle east....

I have been to Canada, Mexico (just over the boarder if it counts ha...), France, Spain, Italy, Vatican City, Austria, Germany, Belgium, the Netherlands, Poland, Czek Republic, Belize, Malawi and Zambia....not to mention I've been in the airports or trained through several different places (England, Switzerland, Ethiopia, but I don't count those)

I promised with the blog I would discuss the ups and downs of singleness...Travelling is the biggest "up" -- I travel a lot-- a trip to Dallas, a road trip for a ball game, going to Vermont for Thanksgiving or NYC to see friends...and every couple of years, I take a big trip.  I realize that this phase of life will end one day (thankfully) but I will regret losing some of my freedom to come and go as I please.  I would be turning down a good gift from the Lord if I didn't travel (either to see friends, participate in missions -- although regretfully my missions trip this summer was cancelled due to mono, or see new places!)

Favorite three places I have been:

1. France -- went to Paris, Alsace, Provence and stopped in Nice (Riviera) for the afternoon. I loved French and France in high school and always dreamed of going so this was one of my favorite places I have been and I will go back. I am thinking about French lessons or classes soon because I loved it.

In 2007, I backpacked Europe, by myself (the girl I was going with fell through) -- so 5.5 weeks in France, Italy, Spain, Austria, Belgium, Germany, Netherlands, etc. This was such an important thing for me to do to regain my independence and celebrate surviving a broken engagement AND my first year of law school.  I doubt I ever "rough it" again...but at 23, roughing it was fun and an important trip for me to take!

2. Africa (Malawi and Zambia)  - In 2009, I went to visit Marley and Bech for 2 weeks in Malawi.

 With baby Ruthie

on Safari in Zambia

 3.  Prague - this is hands down one of the prettiest places I have been! I went with my friend Ann Kirk in 2010. I hope to go back one day.

Prague, at the Charles Bridge.

There you have it, my favorite places I have been....any suggestions for my next adventure? I'm considering Isreal (depending on safety), China, or a Christmas Market tour in Europe...but I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear your suggestions.