Thursday, February 14, 2013


I have been an awful blogger and I'm sorry!! Life has been busy, not just wedding/marriage prep busy, busy in general...although the wedding and soon to be marriage counseling etc does take up time!!

I want to say Happy Valentines Day!!! Specifically to my single readers.  Valentines was never a hard day for me as a single, probably because I find the holiday to be cheesy and fun-- a good excuse for chocolate and wine with friends!  Maybe a chick flick and a margarita (what does a marg have to do with Vday? Nothing, I just like margs a lot!)  Christmas was always harder.  Birthdays. Thanksgiving.  But valentines is hard for some people.  And for y'all, I want to say happy Valentines Day, know you are LOVED and celebrate even though you are single.  Buy your friend a rose. Send a card. Enjoy a glass of wine and splurge on some chocolates.

This is a Valentines post mixed with a "stupid things people say to singles" post.

Also, I want you to know that you aren't single because you don't love God enough.  I read an article this week by a girl who married her high school sweetheart and wrote to singles talking about how they need to be more focused on loving God than loving a man, how she was more focused on falling in love with Jesus than falling in love with her husband when they were dating.  It gave the implication that those who are mature don't care so much about love and marriage (easy to say when you are married) and that also that silly implication of when you love Jesus enough, he will give you a spouse.

This is simply not true.  I am engaged and let me tell you the truth: I do not love Jesus enough, I will never love Jesus enough.  I am sure plenty of singles love Him better than I do. I did not, finally, at the age of 27, love Jesus enough so he gave me Dave.  And when married people say this (and sometimes single people say it too), it's a lie. Additionally, it makes our love for Christ very self-motivated.  I need to love Him more and belive He is enough, so He will give me a man to love and to love me. (so I guess I didn't love Him enough because I needed more eh?)

And, I doubt this woman during high school and college and dating her husband always loved Jesus more than him (like she said that she did).  We are sinners. We struggle with remembering WHO is the most important and we slip up.

You will NEVER love Jesus enough. Single. Married. No kids. 10 kids.  You will always fail to love Him like you should.  Your love will never be great enough to appreciate or repay what He has done for you (thankfully, His love is not based on our shortcomings)  Thankfully, for this woman, whos message was intended to be good (albeit a little arrogant), God has grace for her too.  Because her love for her Savior may be great, but its not enough.

Secondly, don't feel badly for wanting to not be single.  I think its so silly for someone who never knew a long period of singleness to sit there and lecture us on finding our fulfillment in Jesus and not looking to love for fulfillment.  Is it true that we should strive to LOVE God despite our circumstances and LOVE Him most, even when life isn't what we should.  She was very right on that point.  BUT, if you wish you had a man today or tomorrow or next month, you aren't a failure, you aren't necessarilly failing to loves Jesus or trust Him.  It's okay to want these things.  It's easy to have those things and act like its no big deal. 

I'm not posting the link to that article because I don't want to attack this lady.  I truly believer her intention was to encourage you to remember your Savior's love for you and to grow in your love for Him.  Her presentation wasn't the greatest.  So here's my advice (which is probably flawed in presentation too): Marrieds, Singles, Cling to your Savior.  Yes, grow in your love for Him. But don't be so awed by how much your love is growing that you fail to miss the greatness of His love for you.  Because where you fall short and will fall short, where your husband falls short, where life falls short, His love does not.  If you wish you had a spouse, run to the cross with that.  If your marriage is rocky, also run to Jesus!!  It's okay to want those things to change. Additionally, set out (as the author said) to LOVE your Savior, to grow in love and relationship with Him daily, but cling to the incredible reality that His blessings and grace are not based on your perfection and when you do fail to love Him as you should (and you will fail, daily), His love for you never changes.


  1. Love this, Katy, as always. You are so right about not being able to "earn" a husband by loving Jesus enough.....that's just silly but it's something that I've seen come up more than once. And the fact that you love margaritas just convinces me we are meant to be friends! :)


  2. So, so true! Being single is def. a season that I'm thankful for but can't wait for it to be different! :)

    Thanks for the encouragement!