Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Trust My Instincts.

Don't worry, I don't have much more to say about dating (after all, I am no dating expert, OR maybe I am since I have done it for many more years than some people ha!) Last night I heard from E, but I have no interest in responding (other than maybe a polite hope your're doing well type of message) or communicating with him. It seems that he wants me to fight back, try to argue why I'm right. I don't care what you think, the end result is the same - we don't need to be together, no reason to namecall. More things keep coming to light regarding his character and I am glad to dodge the bullet, even if this has been dramatic (I am fairly drama free, I HATE when someone adds unecessary drama to my life!)

So the last thing I learned is 4. Trust my instincts.

I had worries which is why I asked the Lord to close the door if need be. And, now that even more has come to light, my instincts and concerns were dead on. After things ended with my engagement years ago, I doubted my instincts. After all, how did I miss it? How did we all miss it?

Not this time. I was concerned from day one. Everyone else was really supportive of me giving him a chance - despite some flaws, and I felt I should (and I still stand by that decision bc you need to see if God has changed a person before slamming a door on them). After all, I am self righteous and elitist at times and I didn't want to write of the right guy because of some ridiculous standards or because I look at who he was in the past, not now. And, I HATE how everyone makes me sound as if I am too picky... so part of me wanted to proove them wrong.

but as my mom said, if you had told us the whole story, we would not have been encouraging you to date him.

And thats why I am comforted by the fact that I saw the issues and I had begun addressing them with him...differences in religious/moral/family beliefs, etc. I didn't miss "major" signs. I always assume I do, that I lack discernment. No, I saw it, and I prayed about it, and I cautiously got to know someone.

I had the wool pulled over my eyes once, but not all the time. I can proceed into life a little freer now knowing that I am not about to be tricked or fooled by every boy I date, that sometimes my instincts are right and concerns do develop.

And you know what? Sometimes, even with good instincts, my instincts still will fail. Sometimes I will believe a friend to be true, or a boy to be interested or even believe something about myself thats false....

and, when that happens, its okay. Because I trust my instincts, but even more, I trust my God. What a comfort to know that even when I trust those I shouldn't (including myself), he steps in and He prooves to be trustworthy, every time.

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