Monday, August 13, 2012

Love at First (Second, Third, etc...) Sight

This blog post, Love and Fifth Sight  made me think about falling in love.  Can you really fall in love at first sight? And more importantly, do you have to "click" immediately? Is chemistry expected from day one?

How long does it take to click with another person?  Does it happen immediately or does it sometimes take a few dates before you have that chemistry?

I'm a big believer in the fact that chemistry and a strong connection doesn't have to happen on date one for it to be a great relationship. Thats why I have always been willing to invest a few dates.  Some people are awkward on first dates. There's nervousness. Someone could be tired or have had a bad day or sensitive because of stress or other problems. Someone may be a little closed (without knowing it) because of their last relationship ending poorly or commitment fears, etc.... You may have tons and common but not feel that click immediately.  So, I willingly invest a few dates, no harm in trying.  And, I often encourage my friends to do the same.

I'm also a big believer that chemistry isn't everything, that people spend so much time chasing this idea of "butterflies" that they overlook people that have common interests, compatability, commitment, mutual respect, etc.  Love isn't always butterflies.

However, despite being a big supporter of that idea -- the whole clicking on date 3, 4, or 5 has never happened to me.  Of the few guys I have "clicked" with, that chemistry happened immediately.  In fact, I have practiced my theory before with guys before, giving "us" a shot for a few more dates, hoping we clicked- and in the end, there ended up being no chemistry, even a few dates in, although a heck of a lot of respect and friendliness. However, I know people who didn't hit it off with their hubbies or bf's at first but said yes to a second date because they knew the guy's character and ended up falling in love.  So, this theory must work for some people, just never me.

What do y'all think? How essential is chemistry - longterm and in the very beginning? Any success stories of falling in love with guys you didn't click with on date #1? I'd love to hear them!

PS- sorry for the boring "analytical" post (although I really am curious about your answers), but I have a special treat for y'all!!! I have a couple blog posts I am working on about missions and a favorite family of mine who are going on the missions field.  GET EXCITED!!


  1. Like you, I tend to give it two or three dates with a guy just in case, but if I didn't feel it during date one, I usually don't. There is seriously something to be said about those sparks!

  2. Oh my gosh, first off, I love this article. Second off, I LOVE that blog! So great. Thanks for sharing! Oh--and I think that you're right about having to give it a couple of chances to decide if it's right before you call it quits. At the same time, there does have to be some sort of spark, so if it's not there, it's just not there.