Monday, March 5, 2012

Gratefulness/Brokeness to Beauty

Brokeness to Beauty is probably the reoccuring theme in my life.  I look at pain I've gone through and even worse pain that so many close to me have experianced and often wonder if the Lord can redeem that.  I think the problem is that He does redeem and restore, but we have a hard time accepting an idea of good that is different from what we once knew or what we thought would happen.

Example: Even if I met Mr Right tomorrow and got married 6 months from now, I think I am still going to be frustrated that I went through a broken engagement, that my life took awhile to work out, that I had to wait.  I had a picture in my head of how it would work out (and a picture that came not from my own preconcieved notions, but from what was my reality for awhile) -- that I might have a hard time accepting a wonderful blessing that comes in a form or timeline I did not want.

I think the same can be said for those who have waited for Children or to buy a home or to finally get into the job/ministry/missions they wanted. Or waited for healing from physical pain...When we get to the blessing, how do we not let the years of waiting hurt us, color our views, make us bitter? My biggest struggle and fear is to not let myself get frustrated at God when his blessings come on His timeline not mine.  I should just be grateful the blessings come, but I can't help but think what were the years of waiting for???

And I know I am not alone in this.  Thats why I loved this blog post about bruises leading to beauty and this blog post about what God means for good.

maybe the problem is that we already have an idea of what life is supposed to be. What I think is best is not necessarilly whats best.  And maybe what needs to be adjusted isn't God's timeline but my idea of what's good (and everyone else's idea of what's good)  I would hate to miss the learning along the way and more importantly, I would hate to miss the joy of His blessings when they come because I am still arguing with Him about His timeline.

So my current goal in life is to stop having such a preconceived notion of when things have to happen, to start seeing the purpose of waiting, to enjoy my blessings now and to just appreciate the blessings when they come, rather than be angry they didn't happen earlier.

I am considering doing that 1000 gifts gratefulness list thing, but I haven't read the book yet.  However I get the concept. It makes sense. We all struggle with wishing for certain blessings and wishing they came on our timeline that we often miss the small blessings each day.  I'd like to start counting.  I think my time wouldn't feel like waiting always if I noticed what the Lord was doing now, not what I wish he had done now.

anyone do a gratefulness list?? Tell me about it. I'm dying to know and excited to start counting my blessings.  I want to see how even the bad things are used by God and how even small blessings saturate my daily life.

1 comment:

  1. I completely agree with you! I read a quote last week that what screws us up most is the picture in our heads of what our life is "supposed" to look like. As a lady who is in a season of waiting myself, I could totally relate! I just read 1,000 gifts and it was great. I also do a gratitude journal and just list one thing that I am thankful for each day. Sometimes it's something simple like a heater that kicks on when it gets cold or food in the fridge. Some days it's bigger like answered prayers or a great sermon. I've really enjoyed and found it totally improved my attitude!