Every 20somthing single gal ...#22-24

Bear with me as I finish my October Series....in November (oops!)

Every 20something single gal should have....

22. HOPE for Marriage and Family (if thats your goal) but a solid PLAN B if it doesn't happen.

You are in your 20s or your 30s, no reason to give up hope.  I think a lot of people scare singles into thinking you have no chance of marriage past a certain age. But if so many people are still single, is that really true? The age of marriage keeps going up.  Many men and women are left and God is still on HIS THRONE. Live in hope of marriage and family (if you desire those things, you may not and thats fine too!)  And by live in hope, I mean plan like there is marriage in your future.  Get your finances in order (I am trying to do that now), learn to cook, buy a house, dress up and go to events and try to meet new people.  Feel free to go to the marriage seminar at church or read a book on relationships and marriage.  Never think you have to give up.  Enjoy your single days - don't waste them, but plan for marriage and live as if it will happen.  Its fine to have hope and live in that hope.

BUT HAVE A GOOD PLAN B.

Have you thought about how life will be if you don't take the traditional marriage and babies route? DO IT.  Play the scenerio out in your head.  Some people would tell you not to because you might worry about the future too much.  But, really, play it out...and get upset and "mourn" the possibility of a permenantly single adulthood. Now, imagine the best single adulthood possible.

I did this and it was upsetting, but it was also freeing.  PERMENANTLY SINGLE KATY would be the best damn aunt there is (the kind who takes her nieces and nephews on trips!), would travel the world, would go on missions trips, would enjoy holidays with her family but would feel free to do her own thing (just like married folks are free to miss the occasional family event), would never let herself "go" just because she was single, would still date and enjoy life, would host dinner parties, would likely adopt a baby, would be involved in a church home, would move to a cool city, would continue her education, would learn to cook better meals, would run a marathon, would decorate a home.

That's still not the life I planned, but its a DAMN GOOD PLAN B.  So, go ahead, feel free to make a Plan B - just in case, but make it a good Plan B!!  In fact, my plan B is so good that if and when I get married, there will be some aspects of it I miss (and I am sure Baby Jack will miss the trips I had planned on taking him on haha!)

23. Adult relationships with your parents (and siblings).

This will look differently for everyone.  Maybe you have an overinvolved family and you just have to decide that you will respect them but draw boundaries.   Maybe you have a family who wasn't there so you just have to decide to forgive your parents and love them but not trust your heart to them.  At a certain point, you have to establish your own belief system, your own goals and your own life....but this can be done in a way that respects your parents.

Allowing yourself to be manipulated or manipulate, to bully or be bullied, etc is childish and not helpful.  Your parents don't need to control your marriage and family one day so you need to establish your independence now.

(SIDENOTE: I am blessed to have respectful parents, so this isn't a passive aggressive attack on them, just a realization that at some point, we all have to pull away and grow up.  I recently witnessed what happens when this independence never occurs and its sad)

24.  A pretty pair of panties and bra (even if just you see it!) and a pair of spanx.

You're an adult.  Recognize the importance in the proper undergarments.  Have a few pretty pieces and a gurdle or "sucky-in thingy"   I don't care how thin you are, you will occasionally have a dress that shows bulges and needs clean lines.  And I don't care how conservative you are, but having your granny panties stick up out of your jeans isn't going to attract any men, nor will it make you feel very sexy.  So invest in a few young pretty pieces and atleast one adult slimming piece.