Recently, my family had a door close that seemed so much like the right door. Doors slamming are so hard to deal with, especially when the doors were originally wide open, so certain and seemingly, so good.
With this closed door came the realization for me, atleast, that nothing in life is certain -- even things that are good and glorifying to God aren't for certain...not relationships, friendships, family, health, jobs, ministries, etc. (I know, I know, I, like most people, have been through MANY situations where I realize earthly relationships and things aren't certain, but how quickly I return to needing them)
This concept of a life of uncertainty was hard to swallow for a few days until I reminded myself of the one door that never closes, the one certainty that doesn't change. I'm 99 percent sure my family will always be by my side and vice versa, but even that is not certain. Only my Savior is certain....and I am grateful for that and clinging even more to the certainty that is Jesus Christ.
The funny thing about closed doors is that often times the same doors are wide open until you get near. I think its a common misconception that always make is that other people are ALWAYS trying to make the closed doors work, assuming they were open. I remember after my engagement ended, people tried to tell me that I must have missed the signs, that I must have desired marriage so badly that I was working so hard to make it work (not true, as I had no desire originally to get married at a young age). I disagree -- I prayerfully sought the Lord's will in that relationship and would never have entered that engagement unless I believed I was called to that marriage. I told people I felt it was the Lord's will for me to engaged to the man, but obviously the door closed, so it was not God's will for me to marry him. It was an open door that became a closed door, but the door wasn't closed from the beginning. Just because a door is closed does not mean the person recklessly, sinfully pursued a closed door.
And, although there are plenty of times when I selfishly try to make clearly closed doors OPEN, I think I recently (and on multiple other occasions) have realized that the Lord works through closing doors after we already begin walking toward that same door opened.
Would it be easier if every closed door started that way? For sure. I wish life was full of clear yeses and nos from the beginning. I wish God didn't allow an open door to give you encouragement and hope, before He shuts it.
But, maybe He waits to close the door because He wants us to realize that our hope should be on Him, the opener and closer of doors, and not on the doors themselves. Maybe He draws us to doors that suddenly close because through that process, we are shown the right door. In some cases, maybe the door closes for a time then opens again.
All I know is that I serve a God who is certain in a world that is not. He is an open door when other doors close. He is the one that opens and closes doors in His timing and for His glory. He is the One that uses dissapointments, broken dreams, heartaches to shape and grow us. He is the one that redeems closed doors.
Sometimes, in my finite wisdom, I wish he would slam the door quicker (I sure have felt that way about boyfriends and breakups before as well as job opportunities), but the Lord shuts the doors at the right moment, for this I am grateful.
I pray my heart can be as excited about the opener of doors as I am about the doors when they finally open, and maybe it takes weeks, months and years of doors opening and closing for our hearts to finally cling to Him.